In my room

Fosti on how he sees his role as the head of his household. Not to be missed!

Men taking responsibility

One of the benefits of Taken In Hand that Charlotte has noticed is that it encourages men to take responsibility.

Enjoying our relationship

Babydoll is so happy that her husband loves their Taken In Hand relationship and glad that he felt able to show her his dominant side even after an unfortunately bad past relationship.

Working wives

Some women are thrilled that their husbands do not allow them to work outside the home; others revel in the fact that their husbands take them in hand and also support their wish to work. This working women would prefer not to work but does because she loves and submits to her husband, and he prefers her to work.

Why is this desire so powerful?

Why is the desire some women have for a Taken In Hand relationship so strong? For Michael's answer, hit the read article link now.

Could micromanagement work for you, too?

Many Taken In Hand readers dislike being micromanaged, but some, including this writer, have discovered that it can be erotic if it is not just generic but arises specifically out of the two individuals you are and the unique relationship you have together.

How badly I want this; how difficult it is to ask for it

Many women badly want to be taken in hand but are too embarrassed to mention this desire to a man. I hope that the existence of this website might help.

Switches do grow on trees

A walk in the country will never be the same again after reading this charming article.

Practical hints for men - you are allowed to enjoy it!

For Carlf's timely reminder that this whole thing is supposed to be a source of pleasure, not a sacrifice, hit the read article now!

Practical hints for men - times of stress

Carlf offers some advice to men about maintaining a Taken In Hand relationship through times of stress.

What if it doesn't come naturally?

It has been drawn to my attention that even some folk who have been reading Taken In Hand for a year have not noticed that there is a readers' forum (see link in the sidebar on the left). So as there is a particularly interesting thread on the forum at the moment, I thought I'd promote it to the front page. This thread was started by Tom. Despite having felt extremely happy during the two weeks he considers to have been “Taken In Hand”, he wonders if he has the natural dominance he thinks is necessary for a Taken In Hand relationship. There have been many helpful replies, as you will see if you read the comments following his question.

Is your relationship abusive?

People are often very quick to judge a relationship abusive, but sometimes they have a point. How can you judge whether there is a problem or not? And what do you do if someone else thinks that you are being abused and you think you aren't?

Keeping the lines of communication open

Fosti argues that it is important for the man in a Taken In Hand relationship to keep an open channel of communication, so that the woman feels ‘heard’.

Do you need more attention in your relationship?

A relationship that exists purely in your own mind and not in active engagement with the other person is not a relationship, it is a fantasy. Fantasy is great, but it is not a relationship; and despising yourself for needing attention is not the answer.

Being able to be open and honest about my feelings

One of the greatest gifts of being in a Taken In Hand relationship has been, for Charlotte, that she now feels more able to be open and honest about how she is feeling.

A consensual, non-controlling journey

Sharon explains that in a Taken In Hand relationship each spouse has not a weapon to use against the other, but the key to his or her heart.

Linguistically submissive

In this fascinating and thorough analysis of the word “submissive”, LifeOfCuriosity concludes that submissiveness is an attitude that leads to a course of action chosen and performed by the submissive person and that it is something that is done best by those with much to give.

My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive

It is not the act of spanking in itself that causes such wonderful changes when couples move into a Taken In Hand relationship, it is the underlying psychological effects on both partners, as Louise's very nice example shows.

Why did it take us 20 years?

Forty-something wife is so happy in her Taken In Hand relationship that she wonders why it took them 20 years to get here.

I was drawn to his old-fashioned ways

DianeD was drawn to the man who is now her husband because of his “old-fashioned courtly ways” and she loves the fact that he has a firm hand.

Virtues of the lowly switch

This one is for all those who like or are curious about that most pure of implements, the switch.

Fear

This short anonymous post is for those who have been upset by the hostility that they sometimes meet even here in what is supposed to be a safe place for those who prefer a male-led relationship. It was originally posted on the When rape is a gift thread.

Give the right impression?

As KrosRogue so wisely points out, when you are single, giving the right impression is the wrong thing to aim for.

An iron hand in a velvet glove

This writer's husband is a former military commander and well able to get physical, but when it comes to his wife, he prefers the iron hand in the velvet glove approach.

Communication, consent and connection

Ros explains that Taken In Hand women are not annihilating themselves, they are pursuing what they themselves want.

Women need to know when NOT to do as they're told!

In this light-hearted article, Tevemer argues that what women really need to know is when not to do as they are told!

The dance of consent

Most consent-giving is done tacitly, through tiny non-verbal and indirect verbal signals, not directly. Sometimes a direct, clear yes or no is necessary, but especially in a long-term Taken In Hand relationship, it often isn't necessary. That does not mean there is not consent, as ConfusedofHomeCounties explains.

Is chastity overrated?

Since this seems to be a big issue in America, and there are thousands of Americans reading this site, I am putting a slightly shortened version of DeeMarie's readers' forum post about chastity on the front page.

The importance of conquest

This brilliant article explains the need many Taken In Hand women feel to be decisively conquered by their man, and why less resistant-sounding forms of submission leave many women cold despite the fact that they do indeed want to submit to a man.

The submissive alpha female

What is a submissive alpha female (or an “alpha submissive” woman, as a reader asked)? DeeMarie has the answer!

What being taken in hand means to me

What does being taken in hand mean to you? To Blush, it is the healing power of caring constraint.

An etiquette in the relationship

This succinct piece is about how Taken In Hand relationship etiquette paradoxically empowers a woman to express her female strength.

Domestic discipline (DD)

What is the difference between Taken In Hand and DD (domestic discipline)? It is a mainly just a difference of focus.

Trust is what makes my relationship so special

When you are in a deep, trust-filled long-term relationship, as this reader is, worries about safety and consent (or lack thereof) seem very remote. It all depends on the kind of relationship you have.

What women need to know about men

Being “out” may be harder than you think. As this fun anecdote from Mackenzie demonstrates, sometimes when you tell people, they think you're joking!

Why is BDSM so popular?

Why is BDSM so much more popular than Taken In Hand, and why is it that some BDSM folk are so disapproving of Taken In Hand?

Don't wait too long to tell her

When should you tell a woman with whom you are in a new relationship what kind of relationship you want? Stephen explains why the answer is not too long.

Can physical chastisement cure bad habits?

For Louise's answer, hit the read article link now!

Is it a mistake to spank when angry?

People often say that on no account should you take someone in hand physically if you are angry. This sounds like a sensible rule of thumb, but I have never thought much of it. Now that she has been on the sharp end of an angry spanking, how does Tevemer feel?

PUT women in their place

Some good advice for dominant men about how to handle a Taken In Hand woman. (Fun title, Noone!)