Why is this desire so powerful?

Taken In Hand women sometimes wonder why they have such a powerful desire to be carefully corrected and well-controlled by the man whose authority they live under. It is a powerful desire, in my opinion, because they have made intellectual contact with powerful emotional forces. For most, the world is cacophonous... women's minds and feelings clash horribly. What they have heard they should be, and what their feminine feelings tell them they should be, are forever at odds.

When she asks “just to be held”... what does that mean? It is the modern woman's acknowledgement that she yearns to be protected and nurtured and cared about, and yes, therefore vulnerable; she asks for a man stronger than herself to surround her, envelop her and protect her from a world that often is cold and harsh and brutal.

Relative to facing by herself the vicissitudes of a callous and indifferent world, a little nude whipping is nothing at all!

Your crime, ladies, is that you are bright enough and insightful enough and most importantly, honest enough to understand the truth of what your body tells you.

Most women force away the energy of their submissive tendencies, divert it, as it were, to other more worldly (and politically-correct!) pursuits. And they are left with a lot of worldly accomplishments by day, but with frigidity, frustration, and anger to comfort them at night.

Your drive is strong because it is unadulterated; it is directly from you, from your heart.

Michael

Taken In Hand Tour start | next

Have you seen the following articles?
Happy living in fear of a man?
The subjection of women
I want... to be possessed
Strength and ceding control
Don't forget your whip
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
Women want men who are more dominant
Surrendered in love
Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be
I don't want to be a servant or slave

2005 Jan 15 - 02:36 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

Thank you, Michael

Thank you, Michael, for writing this post. As a woman that has often thought why do I want to be dominated and disciplined by my husband I love what you wrote in your post. It matches my feelings. It's like I've found my true self under layers of society's dictates and now I've found myself, I've become more myself and my desire to be dominated and disciplined has grown too. Unfortunately my husband's a New Man and he refuses to get himself involved in what he calls "criminal activity". I've expressed to him it's not criminal if it's my choice but he's not hearing me.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jan 15 - 05:52 | login or register to post comments

Becoming more youself

The previous poster wrote:

It's like I've found my true self under layers of society's dictates and now I've found myself, I've become more myself

Feeling more yourself – and indeed in a sense being more yourself – is the natural result of gaining deeper insight into yourself. It is a bit like the psychological analogue of the acoustic state of sympathetic vibration. An object vibrates in harmony with some other object that is emitting acoustic energy, causing a tone (resonance). When you gain insight into yourself, it is as though your knowledge of yourself and your self are resonating with each other and reinforcing each other. This is true no matter whether you are a Taken In Hand person or a completely different sort of person.

by the boss on 2005 Jan 15 - 06:48 | login or register to post comments

Well Said

Peeling back so many layers requires much effort, and you are to be commended.

Such honesty is hard to find in this world. It truly does take courage for a woman to admit her need for direction and guidance and discipline, given the shrill voices that hate all that is different in men and women.

by Michael on 2005 Jan 15 - 20:07 | login or register to post comments

The desires of Taken In Hand women are important, too.

Many women would like a Taken In Hand relationship, but because of certain powerful intellectual movements of the 20th century, for example certain forms of feminism, the voices of these women have been drowned out. Sometimes the force of contemporary cultural norms can suppress the hidden but beautiful sensual desires of an entire group of people. The point is that the desires of Taken In Hand women are important, too.

Many Taken In Hand women are perfectly capable of being doctors and presidents, of pursuing worldly gain. But such endeavors can often be at the expense of serving their husbands and families, arguably at least as high a calling. It is wrong to silence women with such feelings, desires, and values, though they be different from the feminist norm.

And men like me will continue to appreciate the exceptional beauty and refinement of women who serve their husbands and families with deference and grace.

Michael

by Michael on 2005 Jan 15 - 20:47 | login or register to post comments

Reply to All

If I told my man I just wanted to be held, he would immediately understand that, at that point, I am not interested in sex, and would simply like to snuggle for a while.

And since Taken In Hand is about relationships, he would understand that at this point, the relationship is about the two of us just being together and not doing anything.

I am not denying my submissiveness; nor am I asking for a nude whipping. Although being nude could be part of being held. Wanting to be held means just that, and nothing more, for at least that period of time.

Sharon

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jan 15 - 22:15 | login or register to post comments

worldly gain vs domestic bliss?

A lot of the women who post on this site have demanding careers that require a lot of dedication and skill, and they seem to have no problems with deferring to their husbands in private. Serving society and serving one's family aren't mutually exclusive aims, although many people seem to think that women have to choose either one or the other.

Michael's article, like many others featured on this site, wistfully hearkens back to an era, before feminism and 'political correctness,' where men wore the pants and women knew their place.:-) I've often wondered if this nostalgia is well-founded: when I look at the older couples I know, their relationships are just as likely to be egalitarian or female-dominant as male-dominant. Furthermore, some aspects of taken in hand relationships have never enjoyed widespread social acceptance, even when male dominance in relationships was the accepted norm. Many people, including people who have very traditional ideas about sex-roles, would be shocked at the idea of domestic discipline, for instance. I suspect that the erotic frisson of taken in hand relationships would be diminished for many people if they became the norm, anyway!:-)

by amba_k on 2005 Jan 15 - 22:25 | login or register to post comments

Reply to Amba, Pat, Louise

Thank you for your perspectives.

"A lot of the women who post on this site have demanding careers that require a lot of dedication and skill, and they seem to have no problems with deferring to their husbands in private. Serving society and serving one's family aren't mutually exclusive aims, although many people seem to think that women have to choose either one or the other."

It is a daunting task to fully serve the family, obey one's husband, and have a career. Although rarely appropriate when children are young, a woman in a takeninhand relationship should indeed be able to work outside of the home if permitted by her husband, but only if she is the type of woman with immense fortitude, since the tasks of a woman at home require a full time effort.

It is also important for a man allowing a woman a career to watch her very carefully, to make sure that she is not too tired from all of her obligations.

"I suspect that the erotic frisson of taken in hand relationships would be diminished for many people if they became the norm, anyway!:-)"

Well, let us give it a try then, and see how it will be!

"Michael's article, like many others featured on this site, wistfully hearkens back to an era, before feminism and 'political correctness,' where men wore the pants and women knew their place.:-)"

Indeed, in many societies, women were considered very nearly property! But there is no need to "hearken back" so far. We can borrow from these societies the idea that men should possess their women fully, without the legal necessity of ownership!

Thank you for your interesting comments. Have a lovely evening.

Sincerely,

Michael

by Michael on 2005 Jan 15 - 23:56 | login or register to post comments

Are you serious?

Make myself worthy of his sexual attentions?! Oh, crikey! I've never had to do anything to make myself worthy of his attentions, he's never been able to keep his hands off me. He never stops telling me how gorgeous I am and how lucky he is to have me when I could have married anybody (a slight exaggeration, but very pleasant to hear).

by Louise C on 2005 Jan 16 - 06:41 | login or register to post comments

To Louise and Sharon

Thank you again for the comments.

You say,
"If I told my man I just wanted to be held, he would immediately understand that, at that point, I am not interested in sex, and would simply like to snuggle for a while."

Not precisely sure where I said that women wanting to be held are asking for sex?

This is what I actually said,
"When she asks “just to be held”... what does that mean? It is the modern woman's acknowledgement that she yearns to be protected and nurtured and cared about, and yes, therefore vulnerable; she asks for a man stronger than herself to surround her, envelop her and protect her from a world that often is cold and harsh and brutal."

the boss's summary of the article is apt,

"When you gain insight into yourself, it is as though your knowledge of yourself and your self are resonating"

Thank you the boss.

Unfortunately, it is easier to argue with ghosts and shadows than with people and what they actually say.

Taken in Hand Women deserve to be nurtured, cared for, and protected. When such women overcome societal pressures, when there is a joining of their intellectual and emotional selves, and when they finally admit to themselves their desires; they become beautiful as never before, desirable, and worthy of praise.

This process has little or nothing to do with working outside of the home or not. It has everything to do with setting priorities.

by Michael on 2005 Jan 16 - 08:59 | login or register to post comments

I love what Michael has written

I don't think Michael was addressing all women or making a blanket statement about all women, I think he was addressing only women who want the kind of relationship he is talking about. And I for one am one of those.

by the boss on 2005 Jan 16 - 09:30 | login or register to post comments

Lovely!

Hi Michael.

With regards to the main article, I think that with the exception of the "nude whipping" bit, which does not appeal to me, the comments you have made are both beautiful and have a lot value and truth. I particularly liked the insight that a woman's intellectual and emotional needs are sometimes in conflict. In my experience, this is true of alot of women, as they've told me themselves.

I suspect that a large body of women would thank you for your clear definition of one of the challenges they face in wanting a Taken In Hand relationship.

Keep up the interesting articles!

Paul

by Paul on 2005 Jan 16 - 12:10 | login or register to post comments

Putting new wine into old wineskins

I was given Women Who Run With The Wolves as a birthday present. At first it was a little scary - I thought that it was a big-strong-sad-feminist book. But, upon reading it, I can see that it is even more necessary for me. It talks about regaining the natural role of women in society, ejecting the male thoughts (like 'crying is weak', and 'you must stand alone to be strong') out from your heart and develop abilities that we have let go to waste (like intuition and body acceptance).

I would not like a return to the Victorian era. Women were not to be seen as intellegent, or artistic, but solely as homemakers and babymakers. Prettiness and fertility were king.

- not my thing...

The book is looking further back. We women have things that men lack in their psyche - things that make the world a better place to be (eg. community). Men have things we lack. Their natural strength and tenacity can teach us to be better - but tempered with the things that make us women.

- this is what I am gleaning from the book.

I am naturally highly intuitive and I lack skills in logic. I am artistic and don't have a business bone in my body. My husband supplies me with what I lack and gives me an environment to develop, as well as helping me learn to do things - like balance a chequebook. This might be extreme.

When I hear the call to 'get back to nature' - its not opressive, but a release to be what I am meant to be - a helpmate to my husband as much as a writer.

Don't talk of corsets (except in the bedroom) - but do talk of a partnership where he holds the deciding vote.

Cheers,

Suzette

"But sun it is not, when you say it is not, And the moon changes even as your mind: What you will have it names, even that it is, And so it shall be still, for Katharine."

by Suzette on 2005 Jan 17 - 07:02 | login or register to post comments

Submission

I was very interested by your article. I would love to be protected by a husband, but I don't know where to meet old-fashioned men. I would submit to discipline. All of my desires are to be protected. Men are physically stronger than women, and that gives me a sense of reassurance and safety. I would quite happily submit to my husband in exchange for protection and love, but I don't know where to meet such men.

by Callie on 2005 Apr 10 - 05:09 | login or register to post comments

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