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Taken In Hand accolades“[S]ince the day I [discovered Taken In Hand] I have rediscovered my feminity.” “[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with pain, and pleasure. Domination roles. Submissive roles. The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.” “Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really. The site is about male-led relationships which do not necessarily have to involve spanking. The owner of the site is more interested in other aspects of male control. There are a lot of interesting articles on the site.” “Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.” “[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Taken In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many so-called ‘doms’ will even think to aspire to.” “Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.” “I feel the best spanking site is Taken in Hand. I have referred hundreds of people to that site and have the link on my Yahoo profile.” “First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.” “[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal “I enjoyed [Taken In Hand] very much and I recommend that everyone here visits it.” “Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, dominance, submission (not the leather-and-stud kind), in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.” “Taken In Hand: Fascinating BDSM blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!” “The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.” “It's a great site.” “If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)” “great site.” “There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.) “[Taken In Hand] is really the most beautiful website devoted to DD.” “[Taken In Hand] is my major kink” “[Taken In Hand is an] erudite and intelligent site” “[Taken In Hand is a]n excellent site with many thought-provoking articles and responses.” “[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!” “[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are ‘seemingly’ natural allies.” “As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting to be dominated” “I was delighted to receive word of Taken In Hand. ... a very thoughtful and well-written group blog. ... I'm looking forward to reading through this blog the way I look forward to reading a new novel by a favorite author. It looks that good.” “Wow. This site is so amazing.” ““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website ... from a MaleDom/femsub perspective ... [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other ‘traditional marriage’ sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.” “[Taken In Hand is] a brill resource.... for info articles... and real life experiences” “A very cool site” “Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women” “a great site” “an exremely high quality site... I highly recommend [Taken In Hand].” “fantastic site” “Intéressant à lire” “Un site remarquable” “[Y]our site rocks!” “Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful even if you don't use corporal punishment.” “a wonderful site” “the best there is” “The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.” “What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was ‘different’ than most.” “GREAT site” “Website of the Month” Other |
My perfect guy, and the marriage he has given meI've been married now for two months. If you've read my writing elsewhere, you'll know the circumstances of how that coincided with launching into a more traditional style of life together. My relationships with men have always involved a lot of conflict. I'm very assertive and I guess that can be interpreted as aggressive too. I work in a man's world, I'm one of a very small number of women in my field and I'm just one of life's scrappers I suppose. But that is a mantle I assume for my day job. I don't want the hassle of it when I get home too. I like the idea of having my man kill my personal dinosaurs and I like the idea of cooking them down for him once he has! So when I got married second time around, I vowed to obey. I didn't really address it in my mind as an active lifestyle choice but on reflection, when we looked at the services we could choose, I had no hesitation in choosing the very traditional one. We had the kind of priest who was happy to remove the obey bit if we wanted, but I recall Mark shooting a look at me when this was suggested (by the priest) and knowing in my heart that I wanted it in my vows and in my life. Part of why I can obey Mark, is that he just so clearly is the head of our household. He's a naturally in charge sort of guy. But more than that, I respect him. For the first time in any relationship I've had, and not just the romantic ones, I've met somebody who is stronger than me from an emotional intelligence point of view. I know that I can rely on him and that he wants me to. He can rely on me too, let's face it we all need a hug every now and then, but what I'm talking about is more to do with taking on the traditional roles in our household and having one of us be the decision maker. For those who suggest that the discipline should go two ways – and by that I mean that the husband should submit to discipline from the wife as well as the other way around, I say this, I don't get to punish my husband, that's the whole point... I promised to obey him. In return he protects me, supports me and takes the responsibility of being the decision maker. I guess his punishment is in the consequences when he makes the wrong decisions. He imposes his own discipline – self-discipline. I certainly don't get to or want to tell him to take a “bare butt whipping”. The lifestyle we have chosen together isn't about an excuse to indulge in S&M or pointless physical punishments, it's about traditional roles within our household which create an atmosphere of harmony because we don't have the ‘modern’ battle of trying to lead the pack; and part of that includes chastisement from the leader occasionally, in many forms. In the last week or so, we have introduced a new way of reducing antagonistic scenes and arguments brewing. It involves counting! On some occasions Mark will simply tell me to count to ten. I remember my granny used to tell me to do this when steam started to shoot from my ears as a kid. When Mark tells me to do it, it makes me stop and think about the track I'm going down. If he's had to say it to me it tends to be because the track is pretty self-destructive, either for me or our relationship. On other occasions, he will ask me if I want him to count me. Either I stop or he counts to one – that will have a consequence later involving some form of punishment, if he gets to two, well the consequences simply increase and at three the consequence will probably involve a later physical chastisement and will involve me having to take time out there and then. It seems like the most embarrassing thing in the world to be told to take a time out in a public place like a shopping centre for example. But sitting on a bench for ten minutes, calming myself down and thinking through what ever it is I've been up to works! The whole point is that I stop, I calm down, I know that I have just been told that the battle no longer exists and that is the end of it, no grudges, back to harmony and getting on with the fun of loving each other and the time we have. OK so it isn't the end of it in that the consequential punishment may come later but it is the end of it on an emotional level. I know that I can easily goad Mark to the point where he wants to punch my lights out. He doesn't of course but when I use that kind of emotional bullying against him, we have both agreed that he has the absolute right to let me know the error of my ways. I'm not a whipping slave, I make sure that it doesn't happen often and that it will happen less and less often but only because I'm learning to behave myself in more appropriate ways and therefore he doesn't need to show me any form of discipline. Having spent the past 30+ years learning how to be a ‘modern’ woman, it naturally takes a little time unlearning those dictates, accepting that actually I don't want them. Since entering into my new, married lifestyle, I have very rapidly come to the conclusion that the obedience I observe in my marriage is about much more than my husband putting me over his knee. In fact, that is probably the least significant part of it. What is truly important and remarkable is the joy we have found in our traditional roles. All the pressures of our pre-marriage days have simply drifted away by defining our relationship in this way. By defining it, I don't mean we've called it a “DD” relationship, because Mark certainly hasn't and we have no interest in any sort of ‘scene’. What I mean is that we have defined the roles we both have and we both know what the boundaries of those respective roles are and we have rules to follow. This takes a lot of the negative thinking out of the whole equation. I know that if there is an important decision to be made, Mark has the final word after listening to my opinion, there is no point in fighting if I don't agree, I have already pre-agreed that he gets to decide and of course, he also gets to live with himself if he's FUBAR'd. So sorry any feminists out there reading this because... I want men to hold doors open for me, I want to feel like a princess in my husband's arms, I want to be feminine, I want to be able to cry when it all gets too much for me out there and to know that my husband is there, shining armor buffed by me, sword in hand ready to fight my battles for me. It makes me feel safe and it makes me the happiest I've been in my whole life. Taken In Hand tour start | next Have you seen the following articles? Is spanking always sexual? On being the servant-leader in my relationship Is the man's authority real if consent can be revoked? Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way! The missionary position Taken in hand by tenderness Does it have to hurt to be Taken In Hand? Greater humility, less defensiveness Give the right impression? Do you have unrealistic expectations? 2003 Oct 29 - 09:50 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article | permanent link
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