The subjection of women

Subjection: (noun) 1. The act of exercising lordship or control; dominion, domination, control. 2. Submission; obedience. 3. Subordination. 4. Subjugation. etc. (Source: an ancient OED)

Subjection: 1. forced submission to control by others. 2. the act of conquering; conquest. (Source: princeton.edu)

Conquest: (noun) 1. the act of conquering. 2. mastery of something difficult. 3. the act of winning the love or sexual favour of someone.

The subjection of women raises the ire not just of a few feminists but of all decent people. Women who want to be brought into subjection – and there are many such women – have a lot of explaining to do. Men who countenance subjection – are there any? Given the risk of being thought to be an abusive predator, is it any wonder that the idea of subjection – even if the woman wants that – is repugnant to most men?

Subjection is not for sissies. It is difficult. It is dangerous. It isn't the done thing. It sounds non-consensual.

Like rape.

Actively exercising control; dominating. Forced submission to control by others. Forced.

It is easy to get so tangled up in the words that we lose perspective. We forget that conquering the woman and bringing her into subjection wins her heart. We lose sight of the fact that after forced comes submission. We get hung-up on the form at the expense of the substance.

“Bring a woman into subjection? No! I must have consent, or I will not control. I abhor violence! I am a firm believer in fully equal rights for women.”

“What I want is a submissive woman who will willingly surrender, not a shrew who needs to be tamed.”

“Forced submission? If submission is not freely given, I don't want it!”

If a woman wants to be brought into subjection, ipso facto, she is fully consenting.

If a woman wants to be brought into subjection, that is not like The Subjection Of Women. It deprives no one of any rights.

If a woman wants to be brought into subjection, it is not like The Taming of the Shrew. She gives her submission just as freely and willingly as the one who surrenders.

The form may be non-consensual, but the substance is fully consensual.

“But why does she want this? If she wants her man to lead, why doesn't she just follow him?”

Some women want and need to be brought into subjection. They crave the man's control and respond positively to active control, but without active control on his part submission is impossible. These women cannot fake submission; it must be real. It cannot be a pretence, a role-playing game or a lifeless cardboard cut-out imitation. It must be from the heart and soul, no hint of artificiality, acting or mendacity. But when a man brings such a woman into subjection and thereby releases her delitescent submissiveness, the power and reality and unforced naturalness of her submission can be awe-inspiring.

Do not be misled by a woman's need for subjection: it does not mean that she is dominant but in denial. It is often the most resistant women who are the most deeply submissive.

Such a woman might feel the need to be controlled whether she likes it or not – constrained by an unstoppable force; restrained; bound, reined in; no choice; no decisions, hers; under his authority, his lordship, his control – not because of incompetence, emotional lability or any lack of desire to take responsibility for her own actions, and not because she needs a man to make decisions for her, but just because that is the way it has to be. Because it feels right and proper. Because primal forces compel it. Because she wants it and he relishes it. Because to worship his power and strength, she must feel his power and strength even when her own is undiminished. Her full self in all its strength, overpowered, conquered, in subjection. Resisting, and finding that resistance is futile, she can finally relax. She needs that safety. She needs to be sure that he won't crumble under her strength. She needs not to be in control, not to have a choice, not to place limits on the man's power. No lists of rules for the man to follow, no shoulds, no ifs and buts, no no's. In subjection. Letting go completely. Peace. Floating on air. Effortless flying. Paradoxes. Out of body and totally relaxed, yet so present and excited that the intensity is indescribable. Power in powerlessness. Freedom in chains. Deep autonomy in bondage. The self strengthened in subjection. She stoops to conquer. Force wins her love. Deep serenity. Surrender. Peace.

Men who have brought a woman to that state – that melted, peaceful, dreamy state, that state of grace – have spoken of it with awe in their voices and echoes of ecstasy in their eyes. They have talked about the delectability of it, the life-changing power of it, the intense eroticism of it. They do not sound like burdened, resentful men who have grudgingly beaten a woman into subjection.

Nor should it be assumed that the force required to bring a woman into subjection is necessarily violent. It might be, or it might not be. It might involve physically restraining a woman, or physically forcing her to obey, or it might not. The force required in the subjection of women is not necessarily physical at all, but psychological: force of will. It might just involve a kindly quiet word here or a little firmness there. It can happen when a man merely looks at a woman, piercing her eyes with his until she is too flustered to hold his gaze.

The force only works to the extent that it reaches the woman's heart and mind. It only works if she wants it.

“Be that as it may, why would a man have any interest in fighting a woman for control?”

Whether physical or purely psychological, the subjection of a willing woman is not fighting. Fighting is sniping spouses lashing out at each other. Fighting is wounding words that can never be unsaid. Fighting is cruelty and spite, pain and distress.

If a woman wants to be brought into subjection, it is not like that. It is nothing like that.

“But still, the question remains, why bother?”

For fun. For the adventure. For the higher purpose of creating the conditions under which the two of you can scale the highest, most challenging mountain of life together, working together and supporting one another all the way.

Because not every woman is happy to pretend to be something she is not. Because not everyone feels right when she fakes submission.

Because not every woman can be submissive in the absence of subjection.

Because if the two of you behave in ways natural for each of you instead of trying to act out stereotypical roles, the relationship that evolves between you will be richer, deeper, and more genuinely suited to the two of you as the unique individuals you are.

Because if you can bring a woman into subjection without needing her to diminish herself to make it possible for you, you will have fully mastered her, and you will both know that, and it will inform all her actions in the future.

Because when such a woman is brought into subjection, she bonds so strongly and completely that there is nothing she wouldn't do for you.

Because that is what it may take to make her totally yours.

“Sounds like a lot of work to me. Why would any man want a woman who is so difficult?”

Why, indeed?

Most don't, of course. Most prefer the path (or indeed woman) of least resistance. Most prefer ‘easy’. And that's fine – for them.

But some of us – men and women alike – do not stick to the easy path through life. Some of us prefer ‘difficult’ – because worthwhile endeavours are usually difficult, and that which is easy often turns out to be less valuable in the end. Sauntering along a well-travelled path doesn't take us where we want go. We want to scale the highest mountain.

And if you want to scale the highest mountain, you have to be sure that the person you are climbing with is up to the climb. It would be no good trying to drag someone weak or unwilling up the mountain.

Some men with ‘mountain-climbing’ aspirations have no time for the idea of subjection. They are impatient to begin the exciting adventure, and understandably just want to get on with it, not have their ascent impeded by a resistant woman. To them, a woman who needs to be brought into subjection is a woman who is pulling in the opposite direction before they have even started the climb.

But, gentlemen, what that woman is doing is not impeding the climb but sensibly checking all the ropes and other climbing equipment, double-checking that they are both strong enough for the climb, and querying any potential problems she has identified so that they will be as well-prepared as possible when the climb gets tough. The better prepared they are for the climb ahead, the better the actual climb will be. If a man is too impatient, lacking in insight about what their intended endeavour entails, or unrealistic or blasé about the dangers, is it a good idea for the woman to put her life in his hands?

Some men do understand a woman's need to make these pre-climb checks, and (with a willing woman) enjoy the challenge and find it amusing that a woman might question or try to test their strength. They do not it insulting or threatening, they find it a fun aspect of conquering a woman. It would never occur to these men to complain or ask a woman to be more submissive or obedient: they simply take action and handle the woman. They relish the contest of wills that brings the woman into subjection, just as those passionate about sword fighting relish their next fight. It's all part of the adventure!

These men inspire worship. Reverence. Deep gratitude. An overwhelming desire to kneel, to please, to obey. Passion. Peace.

In subjection. Mastered. Conquered. His.

the boss

Taken In Hand Tour start | next

Have you seen the following articles?
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
Who says you have to be submissive?
The carrot or the stick?
How should a woman dress?
Communication
The alpha male and masculine power
Ownership as bonding
There is no knight in shining armour
Wanting a masterful man
When rape is a gift

2005 Jul 4 - 21:54 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

How deep you have probed...

the boss,

The depth of your article is breathtaking. For once, I have nothing to say, nothing to add.

Thank you for saying it.

Sam (of Sam & Missy)

by Sam2020 on 2005 Jul 4 - 22:32 | login or register to post comments

You need to write a book

To the writer of this article: you need to write a book, and you should have written my personal ad for me, because THAT is exactly what I wanted to say and THAT is exactly who I am looking for... but the BAD NEWS is that there are zip-zero-nada men out there like that, and if there are any, they must already be married.

Yep, lots of 'em want to spank, but will not take the time to allow the testing and trying first, and then for me it's like, "Baby, what else ya got besides a paddle, 'cuz you won't even let me be *me* or allow me to test you a little, without you wigging out and running for cover---so if you think *I* would follow you anywhere, much less get over your knee...pffftt."

And then I think, "Wussie, in wolves' clothing."

And then it is so over for me. Passive-aggressive psuedo alphas.

I don't know what they think of me. "Passion junkie" maybe. Better to be "addicted to passion", methinks, than addicted to...Hagen-Dazs. Less fattening, and way more fun.

Great article. Thank you!

Kim

by Justis on 2005 Jul 5 - 04:32 | login or register to post comments

If you do push and succeed then it makes it all the more sweet

I read this and I get a general sense about a strong man who is not afraid to stand up to a resistant woman. Who will dominate, but does not expect a woman who will follow without question. I thought it was a powerful piece and I showed it to my husband who thought the same thing. This speaks to me because I am in a lot of ways the way the boss describes the woman, always pushing, always testing. If I want to submit to Mike I have to trust him 100%. I am always testing the lines to see if they are still strong.

My man is not afraid of this pushing and testing. He revels in it, expects it. I doubt very much he would want a woman who does not double check what he is doing. I think it makes my submission to him as a leader in our relationship all the more sweet. If I just mindlessly followed him, if there was no challenge, how special would that be? If everyone could run a marathon at the drop of a hat then there would be nothing special about the challenge of pushing oneself to the limits of your capabilities.

If you do push and succeed then it makes it all the more sweet because of your hard work and the knowledge that you accomplished what many think is too difficult to even contemplate. Getting a strong willed resistant woman to submit to you as leader in your relationship is a challenge too. Only one for people who do not expect everything to be handed to them on a platter. The challenge, the overpowering me, is all part of the dance Mike and I do.

This is a very powerful piece of writing the boss. You have captured in many ways how I feel about submission to Mike and how Mike feels about and leads our relationship.

Take care,
Tevemer

by Tevemer on 2005 Jul 5 - 16:40 | login or register to post comments

This Is Taking A Woman In Hand

To the writer of this article: as a male reader and long time lurker on this site, I think this is the best posting on Taken In Hand. This is what a woman should be in my opinion and there *are* men like you describe. I am one of them. My son is another.

JS

by JS on 2005 Jul 6 - 14:01 | login or register to post comments

The real reward

Wow! It's not often you see such a glimpse of yourself in an article, but you've really done it! It's very enlightening to see the female side of the equation revealed and it answers some (but not all, dammit) of the questions a man has when he takes this step for the love of a woman. And make no mistake boys, this is part of a love equation, because the boss has it dead nuts on about the reward for bringing your woman to this state; when you do, by force of will (and maybe a little muscle) earn the submission of your woman, you are made to feel that you have provided a little slice of heaven. That floaty and serene feeling of peace she enjoys, I *have* witnessed it and shared it and it is part of a bonding beyond anything else.

This is not casual rape and unwanted physical attention though, and if you can't get beyond that, then I'd be wondering why you're even visiting this page. Taking your woman in hand is an act of love. Yeah it's got some tender loving violence in it, but sex is basically banging body parts together until something gives, so get over your inhibitions and realize that having control over someone is not always a bad thing, as long as that control has been earned and is freely given (one without the other is a recipe for disaster).

Kudos to the writer of this article, for getting it so right. I hope you are putting all this stuff to good use.

by Rumjack on 2005 Jul 6 - 22:56 | login or register to post comments

A Respectful Posting From a MAN

I found your Website earlier and want to comment on this material.

Your position somewhat invalidates the Dom's position as Controller of the relationship. I would not tolerate a sub telling me what to do. I give a woman two choices: to obey or to leave. If she wants subjection she won't get it from ME. I like my subs *submissive*.

A Real MAN

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jul 7 - 20:38 | login or register to post comments

Some people enjoy a little resistance!

There is a big difference between challenging a man and telling him what to do. My husband has a way of bending me to his will, even when it is not the thing I believe I want at the time. I think for a man to really dominate me he must be able to prove his worthiness; he must be able to prove he can take what he wants. Telling me to do it or "hit the road" will only make me laugh and leave. Nothing will make me want to do what someone wants less than telling me that they will withdraw their love for me if I do not do what they say. For of course asking me to leave because I am not submissive enough would be throwing away a lot more than a sub. We are husband and wife. We are great friends and lovers. Submission for us would not be worth throwing away everything we have in 13 year marriage.

For me it is the fact that my husband CAN overpower me that excites me about this whole Taken In Hand relationship that we are building. My husband does not let me tell him what to do either, but he is in no way afraid of the strength that I feel within myself. He encourages me to be who I really am. If the person I really am needs to push and test, my husband is more than up to the challenge of over-powering me in my more resistant moments to get what he wants. Some people enjoy a little resistance too!

by Tevemer on 2005 Jul 7 - 22:00 | login or register to post comments

A Real Man can actually dominate her

Quoting the original article:

It is often the most resistant women who are the most deeply submissive.

Yes, absolutely. And it cannot be said enough, because this is something that many "dominant" men seem to be utterly clueless about.

Such a woman might feel the need to be controlled whether she likes it or not – constrained by an unstoppable force... Because to worship his power and strength, she must feel his power and strength even when her own is undiminished. Her full self in all its strength, overpowered, conquered, in subjection. Resisting, and finding that resistance is futile, she can finally relax. She needs that safety. She needs to be sure that he won't crumble under her strength.

Yes, that is exactly the point. A man who cannot forcefully bring me under control cannot dominate me. If he's unwilling to actually take me in hand -- or if I hold back on my resistance at all -- then there's the inevitable nagging feeling that maybe he's really a wuss, maybe he's not really strong enough to dominate me after all, etc. I cannot see why a man would just expect me to take it on faith (or whatever) that he is capable of dominating me, without him actually bothering to prove that to me.

And I would also think that if he's truly dominant, then he will relish the chance to overpower me and forcefully put me under his control -- because that's just what it means to dominate a woman. Any truly dominant man should be willing and easily able to pass the test of actually dominating a strong woman. If he is unable or unwilling to do that, then why in the world would he even imagine that I would consider him "dominant"?

"A real man" wrote:

Your position somewhat invalidates the Dom's position as Controller of the relationship. I would not tolerate a sub telling me what to do. I give a woman two choices: to obey or to leave. If she wants subjection she won't get it from ME. I like my subs *submissive*.

Wow, you are so missing the point here that I don't even know where to begin. Taking a woman in hand does not "invalidate" the man's dominant position -- rather, it establishes and reinforces his dominance.

It's what makes his dominant position possible in the first place, and it's what validates his dominance in his woman's eyes. If he doesn't have the power to actually put his woman under his control, then how in the world is he exercising any real "control"? If he can't truly put her under control, then his "control" is an illusion -- and an illusion that is totally at the mercy of her whims. The moment she decides he is not going to control her any more, the game is over; that's the end of his imaginary "dominance."

You say that you would "not tolerate a sub telling you what to do." But, of course, the boss advocated no such thing. The question is, what is your alternative to tolerating it? If your only other option is to run away from her, then that does not seem very manly at all. It's the man who is powerful and forceful enough (and determined enough) to get the woman under control and keep her there who is the real dominant.

You say you give the woman the choice of "obey or leave" and you think that's dominance? Or that it makes you "a real man"? But here's a newsflash: that requires no masculine strength at all. Any 18 year old girl who's four-feet-ten inches and 85 pounds could make the same demands on the men she dates, and then claim to be "dominant" because she has weeded out anyone who's not a total servile wimp. Does that make her "a real man," too?

What you're doing is weeding out all the strong-willed women; possibly because you fear that you could not actually handle a strong woman. But if you could take on a strong-willed woman and conquer her, then that would make you more dominant, not less. If the only women you can conquer are the mousey ones, then how does that make you "dominant"?

You say that you like your women "submissive," but it sounds like you don't really understand that a woman's most intense submissive response comes from being conquered by a strong man. If you never actually demonstrate any force or power over her, but she just passively goes along with you anyway, then I would not even call that submissive, myself. "Compliant," maybe -- but in my book, true submission is the feminine response to actually being conquered by a strong man.

Not all men are up to the task, like the boss said. But women who are truly and deeply submissive, and who are looking for a strong man to worship, are not going to "submit" to the first biological organism that comes along with a swagger and delusions of dominance. A truly submissive woman wants to make certain that the man she submits to is much stronger than she is, and thus deserving of her trust and her submission. She wants to make sure he is "a real man" -- just because there are so many pretenders out there, who would not know how to actually subjugate a real woman, even if their color-coordinate leather wardrobe accessories depended on it.

by DeeMarie on 2005 Jul 7 - 23:14 | login or register to post comments

To 'A Real Man'

So your definition of 'a real man' is someone who is too lazy to put any effort into enforcing his dominance? That wouldn't work for me, I couldn't be submissive to my husband if he didn't put a certain amount of effort into making me that way. I don't revere and worship him, but I do respect him a lot more when he is firm with me, and if he was passive in the fact of any resistance or willfullness on my part, it would not improve our relationship.

Yesterday, for instance, he bought me a mobile phone, something I didn't want at all (I hate all telephones, mobile ones most of all). "I want to be able to check where you are and what you're doing" he said "And I want you to be able to call me if there's an emergency". My objections died in the heat of his certainty that I would have a phone, whether I liked it or not. "You take it with you when you go out, and if you leave it at home you are in Big Trouble - trouble with a capital 'S'" he told me.

I slighty despise myself for being this way, but I absolutely adore it when he is firm like this, and overcomes my resistance. I didn't think this article was applicable to me at all, but maybe it is, just a little bit.

by Louise C on 2005 Jul 8 - 04:31 | login or register to post comments

Prepare Yourself for Trouble

Well, Louise, then you are going to get in trouble sometime. Everyone forgets cell phones once in a while and he is being unreasonable to think you won't. I can't tell you how many times we have both forgotten them here.

I even put a big sign on the door that says, "Take your cell phone! This means you!" It worked for a few days and then it became part of the decor and we started forgetting again. LOL.

Personally I would be pleased about the caring but I would resent his saying I'd be in trouble if I forgot to take it along. We aren't accustomed to cell phones and it's not that easy getting used to reaching for them, charging them up every night, etc.

"Pat"

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jul 8 - 14:38 | login or register to post comments

Getting in trouble

Well, if I was a normal person I too would probably resent being told I'd be in trouble if I forgot to take it with me. Being the way I am though, I get a pleasurable thrill from the prospect of getting in trouble if I do forget the phone!

I am frequently punished for having forgotten to do this or that, but I don't resent it because it's preferable to what might have happened in the pre-Taken In Hand days, which was him being sarky orlosing his temper and shouting at me about whatever it is. Nowadays his reaction to my having forgotten to do something is more likely to be slightly stern but amused "How many times have I told you not to ...." whatever it is, rather than irritation.And I find myself meekly saying "I'm sorry" instead of flouncing out of the room in a self-pitying sulk.

I know being punished for forgetfulness seems highly unreasonable, but it mysteriously puts both of us in a better humour. Sometimes I almost succumb to the temptation to 'forget' something on purpose, for the pleasure of getting that reaction. The other day I'd gone out to get something from the car, and I was about to lock it again when I hesitated, contemplating pleasureaby what the reaction of my HRH would be if he went out and found it unlocked. Then common sense reasserted itself and I considered what his reaction would be likely to be if he went out there and found the car gone. Not so much fun. Anyway, it would be cheating. God knows I don't need to forget things on purpose, it happens often enough naturally.

by Louise C on 2005 Jul 8 - 16:12 | login or register to post comments

Such a delicious concept

Subjection! Such a delicious concept. I'll admit I didn't know of this definition before your article. Surrender, submission seemed so forced to me. But subjection implies a measure acceptance to me.

I prefer this definition:

From Bouvier's Law Dictionary, Revised 6th Ed (1856):

SUBJECTION. The obligation of one or more persons to act at the discretion,
or according to the judgment and will of others.
2. Subjection is either private or public. By the former is meant the
subjection to the authority of private persons; as, of children to their
parents, of apprentices to their masters, and the like. By the latter is
understood the subjection to the authority of public persons. Rutherf. Inst.
B. 2, c. 8.

An obligation to act. If a woman is brought into subjection she accepts the obligation to act according to the judgment and will of another. It is unlikely that a woman would be promiscuous with her acceptance of this obligation. Rather I would expect her to be very circumspect. It follows that her resistance is part of her "due diligence", if you will.

Resistance of her subjection is not a lack of submissiveness. It is a very practical test of just how deep an obligation she should accept. If she is testing you, she is hopeful that you can touch that place deep inside. Accepting the obligation for a weekend is much less risky than accepting it for a year. Acceptance for life, which is the ultimate goal here I believe, requires constant diligence. If she stopped testing even after subjection, she would stop feeling his strength; she would start to doubt his will; she would grow fearful her devotion us unfounded.

The man should provide her with opportunities to prove her subjection. Small innocuous tasks or requirements for her to accomplish. Each provide her with an opportunity to meet her obligation, thus feel the warmth of her subjection; to resist and feel the strength of his will; or, should she rebel, a tripwire to warn of greater concerns. Creating the opportunities for her to show her subjection allows the man to control the tests. He will then be able to manage the relationship and seize the moments to overcome her resistance to penetrate deeper into her heart.

by Jeff on 2005 Jul 9 - 02:44 | login or register to post comments

Useful Comment

Your comment was useful to me Jeff. Due diligence, I like it. It's also good to see there's alot of guys posting on this newsgroup.

Another Jeff

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jul 10 - 21:03 | login or register to post comments

Kim

Kim -

You are very pessimistic about us blokes. I suggest if you open your eyes you'll see there's a lot of wolves in wuss's clothing.

- Dan

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jul 11 - 11:44 | login or register to post comments

Wonderful article

I think this is one of your best articles on the site. I've read it and re-read it, each time giving me different thoughts.

“But why does she want this? If she wants her man to lead, why doesn't she just follow him?”

I'm glad you answered this so well. Part of being taken in hand is following the man's lead and I can't imagine myself following someone I did not respect, at least in the narrow way I was following them. So it makes sense that my woman is the same and the more I require of her, the more it makes sense for her to be sure of my strong lead. I think it impossible to be totally sure under all future circumstances and at some stage, it takes faith in the person to willingly follow, even though they make errors at times.

...why bother?

Looking back on a previous relationship I had with a woman who was quite naturally submissive to me, I can see that if I had started out with subjection then when things turned sticky, that would have been a far easier and more obvious step to take again rather than try to subject her later. So although I don't feel a need to subject a woman if she is going to be submissive anyway, I can see long-term benefits in doing so.

It would be no good trying to drag someone weak or unwilling up the mountain.

Whichever way around I read this, it makes sense. I've been there, tried that and it wasn't good: all she did is turn on me while I was on a tough part of the climb. I don't see how a woman can, on the whole, drag a dominant man anywhere (though there certainly can be specific areas of expertise where he may be happy to have her lead, under his overall control).

In subjection. Mastered. Conquered. His.

For a single man, a difficulty can be to identify a woman who might respond well to being subjected. I have some 'tricks' I use to tell me early if a woman has a submissive heart but when a non-submissive woman may not even know that she will be delighted to be conquered, what is a man to do?

Douglas.

by Interesdom on 2005 Jul 17 - 14:18 | login or register to post comments

Wolves disguised as Wuss'

YES! So I found out with my husband- it seems. Nicest, quietest, most mild-mannered person I've yet to meet. Gentle with kids, awesome to his mother, described always as "sweet" by those who think they know him. I am an outgoing assertive, woman who is not afraid to speak her mind in any situation. He is shy, soft spoken and appears, to outside observers, to be submissive to me. In fact a few close friends have commented as such. HA! At home, when the doors are shut... I don't mess around. What he says goes. Period. I test. I push. I assert. NOPE. What he says goes. And I love it. It wasn't always this way. Give a man a chance... They, like us, have been conditioned by society to believe a certain way about what women are supposed to want. It can take awhile for THEM to build the condfidence that this REALLY IS TOTALLY OKAY. Then watch what happens. WHO LET THE WOLF OUT??? WHEW!

by Little Red Riding Hood on 2005 Oct 31 - 20:18 | login or register to post comments

Find New Home In Trash

You like humiliating women?

If I were you I would tuck the tip I'm about to give you in the back of your mind. The tip is to remember it's possible to seperate a male from his testicles. Permanently.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2006 Feb 28 - 03:31 | login or register to post comments

Subjection of women

Here Here!!! Cheers to you, I have never seen it stated so perfectly, nothing left out, so purely honest and to the point. My hat is off to you....

by He calls me Beauty on 2006 Mar 22 - 12:53 | login or register to post comments

You taught here something I r

You taught here something I really missed out for half a human beings life! Thank you so much to the boss!
Even HOW you wrote it: this comes close to poetry!
Thank you so much DeeMarie for enforcing these important observations with your own voice, giving additional clues.

I realize how deeply my generation is spoiled by feminist ideals, men and women alike. Your thoughts are TRULY LIBERATING.

David, from ol'Germany

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2007 Jan 3 - 16:50 | login or register to post comments

blah... just have a "safe word".

When you FORCE a person into submission, she obviously doesn't want to submit... how could you like that? (Ex. you put a gun to some random female's head and command her to say "I love you", would you then believe that she really loves you?

True submission doesn't have to be forced, she will do it from the start... the rest can be role-playing

"If a woman wants to be brought into subjection, ipso facto, she is fully consenting."--that's role-playing, dumbass

"Such a woman might feel the need to be controlled whether she likes it or not"--I can't even begin to understand how someone could want something and not like it = she's just shy and afraid that someone will think badly of her if she submits from the start = she's faking the disliking part, give her a saftey word and do what you please.

I think that men can control the relationship, but never fully control a womans body.

whatever you do, PLEASE use a safe word... most women need to feel a little control over their own saftey...

this should keep it from getting to the point where she calls the cops on you.

by narcoleptic87 on 2007 Mar 16 - 23:23 | login or register to post comments

niceI totally agree wit

nice

I totally agree with you

though I use the baseball bat to the head approach, yours works too

by narcoleptic87 on 2007 Mar 16 - 23:24 | login or register to post comments

narcoleptic87, Some peop

narcoleptic87,

Some people want to be REALLY controlled. Yes, they might not like any given individual spanking or punishment or act forced upon them, but they are just wired differently from you. They want to be controlled and probably not by everyone, likely just by one person.

One assumes that there was a lot of soul searching and serious discussion before this kind of relationship dynamic was put into place. That a blanket consent was given for all things, whether she wants them done to her at the time they actually occur or not.

Some people don't want safewords, some people don't want to play.

If power is never wrestled forcibly away from someone, they can never feel the actual power over them. Some people like to feel it. A bedroom game or "scene" just doesn't do it for everyone. And for some, safewords just kill the experience.

by Z on 2007 Mar 17 - 00:31 | login or register to post comments

Being forced

Physical force does not appeal to me at all, but I find I don't really feel submissive towards my husband unless he uses a certain amount of mental force to make me feel that way, if he doesn't assert himself to be dominant, I do not feel at all submissive. Therefore I am not 'submissive from the start' I need to be made to feel that way.

Although physical force does not appeal to me at all, it evidently does appeal to a lot of women, and it seems to bring out a submissive response, whereas in me it simply produces frustrated rage. One way or the other, some people do seem to need to have a submissive response evoked, or 'forced' from them.

Louise

by Louise C on 2007 Mar 17 - 07:02 | login or register to post comments

Being overpowered

I had one of those lightbulb moments reading this article! I am a very competitive, athletic, strong female. I really struggle with my ego in being controlled by my husband. It is definately a turn on, but it doesn't always come naturally. My husband & I have played out M/s roles in the bedroom, but it always felt staged & fake.

This site was an incredible find for us. Neither of us enjoyed the role-playing aspect, or the fact that with M/s it was always about him. He is highly turned on by pleasing me. I get excited feeling helpless & controlled by him.

This article made me realise that because I am a strong willfull woman, I need him to overpower me for real. It is not because I am weak, and it is not something that I can fake (well, I could, but that's not who I am). Don't get me wrong. I do have a submissive side. I love pleasing him and do things for him every day. But every so often I need to feel his strength & power. It truly makes me feel like a woman. Of course we are very new to the Taken In Hand idea & I haven't yet experienced being subjected when we are in a disagreement or by being punished. Maybe then I'll be singing a different tune! LOL! But I just wanted to say thanks for a great article & a great site! Any advice would be appreciated!

by dynomite on 2007 Apr 26 - 19:37 | login or register to post comments

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