The posting rules

Taken In Hand is a web site intended to provide supportive for those in or interested in being in a Taken In Hand relationship. It is not a free-for-all discussion forum, and not all posts are selected for publication on the site and on the yahoo group.

When deciding whether or not to publish a particular article or comment, I have in mind things like whether the submission is saying something new (or whether there is already a post saying the same thing on the site), whether it is on-topic (and not just for the site as a whole but for the article that started the thread), whether it is positive and supportive, and whether it is interesting and well written.

To make Taken In Hand more pleasing to read, I regularly prune the main site, deleting all but the most interesting (and on-topic) comments on a thread. As is the case when you submit an article or letter to a newspaper, all posts and articles are subject to editing and in some cases drastic shortening. If this is unacceptable to you please do not post. Every effort is made to preserve the meaning of your words.

If your comment or article does not appear, or if it gets deleted or shortened at some point, please don't take it personally. It really isn't personal. It is just that I am trying to create a web site that is balanced, interesting, supportive, and enjoyable to read, and I have that global view in mind when editing the site.

Sometimes, there is a technical glitch or human error leading to an article, comment or post not appearing that should have appeared. If you think that your article or post meets the criteria listed on this page and yet it has not appeared, email me at webmaster-at-takeninhand.com including a copy of your post, or simply try posting it again. But before you do that, please wait 24 hours just in case no one is actively looking at posts at the time you post it. It can sometimes take many hours for posts to appear. Don't keep reposting. Once should be enough. Don't forget to hit the “post comment” or “submit” button. Sometimes people only preview a post and forget to actually post it.

Here follow some of the most common reasons for not selecting a particular post for publication on the site. Again, please understand that this is nothing personal, it is just about trying to create a particular kind of web site.

Comments should be on-topic, both for the site and for the article that started the thread. It is mortifying to have to delete fascinating, wonderful posts simply because they are in the wrong place on the site and I have no way of moving them.

If you are new to the site, you might be a bit hazy about what counts as on-topic for this site, and you may find, as a result, that your articles and comments are not selected for publication. To get a good feel for the site, please take the tour and then read the FAQ.

Off-topic material about controversial issues such as abortion, parenting, politics, feminism, etc., will not be approved, so please take care to stick to writing about Taken In Hand relationships, no matter what the provocation to go off at a tangent into off-topic discussions.

Taken In Hand is not a sex site, and as such, some submissions are rejected because they are graphically sexual, crude or vulgar. It is perfectly possible to say all sorts of things without being explicit. Find subtle ways to word posts of a sexual nature. Practise the almost-lost art of the veiled allusion. Assume that your audience includes individuals who are prudish, sexually modest and easily embarrassed. Assume that they definitely do not want to be reading all the gory details of your sex life.

Taken In Hand is firmly aimed at couples preferring monogamy and sexual exclusivity. Don't advocate non-monogamous relationships or multiple sexual partners on this site. There are many BDSM sites and other sites where you can do that.

Taken In Hand is not a BDSM or D/s site, so please post such material elsewhere.

I tend not to select for publication material not written in standard English. It is simply a matter of my desire to maximise readers' pleasure, and to minimise their irritation. So use a spell-checker and avoid using jargon that those new to the site will not understand. Spell out acronyms, and use standard capitalisation. Do not use adjectives like “dominant” as nouns. (Instead, write “dominant man” or something.) Writing “His” in the middle of a sentence or writing “O/our” and other such abominations is a sure way to get your post deleted.

Please don't post very short posts without interesting new content. If all you say is that you agree or that you are new to the site/group, your post won't be selected for publication. Make sure you say something new, on-topic, and interesting.

If you quote someone, always state exactly where the person said what you are quoting. Do not allege that someone said something without providing the source so that others can check the context of the quote.

I am trying to create a safe and supportive site for Taken In Hand folk, so comments that make it feel unsafe for people to post tend not to be selected for publication on this site. It can be devastating for someone to pluck up the courage to write about deeply personal, intimate matters, only to be shot down in flames, so make your posts kind, gentle, and supportive. Please ensure that your post assumes that it is OK for others to have preferences different from your own.

It is always useful to get readers' opinions, suggestions, criticisms and requests, so feel free to make complaints, either about how I run the site, or about an article or comment or writer on the site, but please do this only through this page: Make a suggestion.

DO NOT post anything resembling a personal ad, or any post that could be interpreted as fishing for a partner, either on the main site or on the yahoo group. Such material will simply be deleted. Don't even mention that you are single. Unless you have a history of writing really fascinating and on-topic posts for the site, a post mentioning that you are single is highly unlikely to appear. The site is being overwhelmed with personal ad style comments, and they are all being deleted.

Question: “How do I find someone with whom to have a Taken In Hand relationship if I can't post a personal ad?!”

Answer: Post interesting on-topic posts, comments and articles and you will attract attention through your on-topic content.

2003 Sep 22 - 10:47 | latest article | previous article | next article |