The difference between dominant and controlling

What is the difference between a dominant man and a controlling one?

Women vary in terms of what characteristics they consider important, but most are happiest with a dominant man who is capable of stepping up to the plate and putting an abrupt stop to relationship downward spirals. Angry withdrawal and resentment is no fun, and it builds on itself.

But what is the difference between a dominant man and a controlling one? I think the difference is in whether or not the man cares about consent.

Some say that women's lib has caused a rift in the man-woman connection but I disagree. One of the things we should thank feminism for is that women are now able to give or deny consent for the man's involvement. This consent is a powerful connecting force and simply did not happen on a real level before.

In the past, in early agrarian society when families were generally well connected, large and so forth, it might be argued that consent was not necessary. But we have moved away from that, for better or worse, and now, women can choose to offer consent to a man as head of their household. This consent is much more powerful than the absence of consent, and it can be specific to the relationship instead of the ‘old way’ of relying on social convention and the dogma of others.

The difference between a truly dominant man and a controlling one is that the dominant man needs and wants consent, whereas the controlling man doesn't even understand what this word means.

Frank Nelson

Taken In Hand Tour start | next


Have you seen the following articles?
Do you have a commanding presence?
Help! The one I love nowadays rarely wants sex!
The Taming of the Shrew
The missionary position
Learning the ropes
Giving up control is not easy
Communication, consent and connection
Chemistry is indispensable
The submissive alpha female
Why is BDSM so popular?

Consent

Perfect point. Thank you!!!

I could not agree more.

I could not agree more. It took me a long time to realize this difference. I thought I wanted a "controlling" man.

[See Can you be in charge without turning into her mother? for more. - Ed.]

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.