Do women want more feminine men?

For forty years men were told that, if they wanted women to like them, they had to develop the female side of their personalities. By the time this got translated into popular culture, men were to emphasize the female aspect at the expense of the male.

The feminization of men in Western culture has not worked out very well. Consequently, women are starting to look for men able to behave like men – including taking them in hand.

Where my wife and I had an advantage was in our independent awareness that there are some times when husbands need to behave like men – even when the wife in not in complete agreement with his decision at the moment.

That my wife and I were both relatively young – very nearly the same age – also both helped and hindered our relationship. On the one hand, she came into the marriage without the emotional baggage accumulated over time. At the same time, I was too naïve to realize that, unlike the illusion presented by popular media half a century ago, one firm spanking does not translate into a lifetime of smooth sailing.

What spanking does quite well is to bring problems to the surface so that the underlying causes can be addressed. Getting spanked causes a woman to talk about those things that trouble her deeply. At the same time, it diffuses accumulated stress.

It is little things like that which cause women to relish being taken in hand rather than go about fighting men in perpetuity.

Noone

Taken In Hand Tour start | next

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2005 Apr 20 - 13:07 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

It Works For Me...

My husband and I are fairly new to Taken In Hand and have incorporated spanking for varous reasons.

With me (and this is just me ok?) I find that a spanking actually allows me to release. I dont cry very easily and I hold onto my emotions, whereby internalising anger, hurt, annoyance, rage which can be explosive when it does release, usually at my partner as I will rant and rave at him.

Since my husband has agreed to incorporated spanking (serious spanking, not playful or a prelude to sex) I'm slowly peeling back the layers, so much so that I feel I'm "bubbling" underneath, ready to be "exposed". This is a very difficult transition I am going through and ofcourse my husband as it is difficult for him. But without the spankings I know I would not be able to learn to let go, in any capacity.

If spanking is not for you, then don't do it, but for some of us it is a way in which it allows us to learn to "let go", release, communicate what our true feelings are, then gradually move on. It takes a very patient and considerate man though to enable a woman to go through the stages that she needs to go through.

As a matter of interest I'm 43 and he is 53, we've been married 5 years, together for 8 and known each other for 27. Without that gradual build up of friendship, trust and love, and having a similar background and goals, we would not have been able to reach this stage in our lives of "knowing" that a Taken In Hand relationship is the best one for us.

Marie

by Marie on 2005 Apr 20 - 18:10 | login or register to post comments

spanking as a catalyst

Noone said:

What spanking does quite well is to bring problems to the surface so that the underlying causes can be addressed. Getting spanked causes a woman to talk about those things that trouble her deeply. At the same time, it diffuses accumulated stress.

Noone,

This has been our experience too. It is not so much that spanking "cures" any thing at all. But the control my husband uses through spanking acts as a catalyst to where our communication is much more meaningful. We are both in a much better frame of mind after a spanking, and we find our communication comes so much easier then. It does work this way for us.

Take care,
Tev

by Tevemer on 2005 Apr 21 - 02:07 | login or register to post comments

It works for me.

I find it extremely hard to let go. I hold everything in and have had to deal with physical health problems as a result. I find that the release of a good spanking brings us both together, it helps him understand and helps me calm down and get on with the business of living. Am I the only one for whom this is true?

by Neska on 2005 Jul 20 - 03:26 | login or register to post comments

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