Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way!

Do we choose to be taken in hand because we want to be, such as for the connection or because the whole idea is very erotic? Or is it that we women need to be controlled because we can't control ourselves? As a phlegmatic, competent, rational sort of person, I have always argued that this is something even the most logical, sane woman can choose. If you have to be the sort of person who can't function sensibly in the world to be taken in hand, I don't qualify! But that doesn't mean that I don't want to be taken in hand. I do! From what Nina says in this no-nonsense comment, she feels the same way:

Driven by emotions and insane??!!!

The following jumped out at me:

...we woman tend to get out of control, filled with an excess of moods and feelings that get so filled with energy, we cannot handle them. Men are not so much like us in that regard. They can live a lifetime without feeling overwhelmed with emotional energy to the point of being sick. It is as if we are in a denial and cannot see that it is our emotions driving us to be and act insane. We act out of the emotions of the moment and that makes it difficult to see clearly see the truth of any given situation.

What nonsense! If there were any truth in this, how would all the women who, throughout history (and often against overwhelming odds), have managed to achieve great things? And today, where the playing field has become somewhat more equal, women are getting ever closer to achieving their potential.

I am a strong, professional woman, and am perfectly capable of running my own life. I most certainly am not ruled by my emotions, nor am I ever 'out of control'! As an 'alpha-female' with certain submissive tendencies I have, out of my own free will, chosen to defer to my dear husband. This does not mean that I am in any way weaker than him. We are partners in life - but DD enhances our relationship, draws us closer, enhances trust and respect between us and generally makes our life together run more smoothly.

This is how we chose to lead our lives, but we would not presume to tell other couples that our way is the only way, or that our relationship is based on woman's weakness or 'insanity'. The idea that women have to be controlled by their menfolk because they, poor things, are 'too emotional' or 'out of control' is just too ludicrous. And I can't imagine any sane man wanting to put up with such nonsense...

Nina

the boss

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2004 Jan 13 - 19:48 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

Yes and No

I read Nina's comment with great interest and I agree with the spirit of it. I was nodding, "yes, yes" all the while.

However, that being said, I believe the original comment was made regarding relationships, specifically the sometimes out-of-control emotions that can and often *do* occur within the marriage relationship.

Not in the business world, not while mothering, but within the marriage itself.

Even strong Alpha Female women, like myself and others here, benefit from being "taken in hand" by our loving men.

Perhaps us most of all. It doesn't mean we as women are weak or that there is anything wrong with us; it's simply a benefit to allow our men to lead the way.

Not a necessity, because otherwise we wouldn't survive in the world. Not a crutch because we can't make it otherwise. But a beautiful luxury, perhaps.

(Please note: I'm speaking strictly of the traditional Male dominant/Female submissive dynamics here, not of relationships with F/m dynamics, although if anyone would like to speak up for the opposite roles, I would find that very interesting)

by Amber on 2004 Jan 14 - 03:43 | login or register to post comments

I agree with you Amber

I agree with you Amber, emotions do happen in relationships, and that's what I got from Linda's great article. I found reading Linda's article's made a difference already...... my husband got on my case about something and where before I would have been real pissed at him, because I'd just read Linda's article, I let it go...... and I've just found out he was right and I was in the wrong so thanks, Linda..... you've helped us already.

Katy
PS I'm a strong, competent woman too, so I agree with Nina about that.....

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Jan 14 - 09:49 | login or register to post comments

Driven by emotions? Maybe

I read the article all the way through (whew) also, and of course some of it I could relate to and some of it I couldn't. The comment about being driven by our emotions was especially striking for our relationship. I am capable of getting out of control emotionally, and have done so in the past. This usually happens when I am overwhelmed with the circumstances of life, and the top blows off. When I do lose it emotionally, it is mostly relatively harmless for those around, as I have learned to go somewhere else and chill for a while. But I also have learned that my emotions, good or bad, can control my behavior, and that regardless, my emotions are much stronger than I will ever be. I, too, am a strong, competent woman especially outside the home, as I am a school teacher, and as a parent. I feel like it's too much for me to be that strong and competent ALL the time so my husband picks up the slack as HOH. We have been married 19 years, and have found that DD has enhanced our marriage, as it was sort of stagnant. So far, I get spanked when I do or say something that interferes with his ability to be HOH. I don't consider that the times I mess up make me weak, or immature, or incompetent, or anything else. They mean that I am human, like everyone else and we have agreed that DD helps us get things back on track again. It's interesting because we used to argue and fight when things got messed up, and now, because we use a DD lifestyle, it's like we just take care of it, work through it, then move on. Thanks for all the opinions. I learn a bunch from this site.

vbgirl

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Jan 15 - 00:43 | login or register to post comments

Response from a Dominate Man!

I find this all very interesteing, and I must admit arousing! I have a long distance spanking or DD relationship with a woman, who I believe does not fully appreciate me. I am 45, very confidant, strict, masculine, fun, nice looking, have many other terrific qualities, and provide her with both spankings for disciplinary and erotic purposes. We have great sex as a result of all the spankings and discipline, but there is still something missing. She says she desires a DD relationship with me but is constantly disrespectful and inconsiderate. This does not want to make me spank her... it makes me want to leave her her and find a woman who truly appreciates me. I can only speak for myself, I love the DD lifestyle. I craved it for many years while I was in a vanilla marriage. Why is it that some women desire the spankings when it fits their own agenda or needs? As a dominate man, I wish to have a woman who respects me and will treat me with consideration ALL the time. Yes, I DO understand that a submissive woman misbehaves and needs to be taken in hand. Does this same woman not understand that a dominate man needs to be made to feel like he is important to her as well?

Russ.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Jan 21 - 01:55 | login or register to post comments

Response to a Dominant Man

Russ, first of all, it's dominant, not dominate. Dominate is a verb. You'll definitely get more respect if you use the correct word.

Your friend might be afraid that if she is a "good girl" too much of the time, particularly in a long distance and online relationship, she will not get the spankings that are your mutual interest. She might think she needs to defy you and act bratty in order to keep the DD happening and keep you interested in "correcting" her.

Apparently the fun spankings aren't giving her what she needs and she may feel the connection only exists if she misbehaves so you can give her real discipline. Have you tried talking to her about how you feel and letting her know that her behavior is not making you feel closer to her but is actually driving you away?

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Jan 27 - 18:56 | login or register to post comments

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