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Taken In Hand accolades“[S]ince the day I [discovered Taken In Hand] I have rediscovered my feminity.” “[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with pain, and pleasure. Domination roles. Submissive roles. The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.” “Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really. The site is about male-led relationships which do not necessarily have to involve spanking. The owner of the site is more interested in other aspects of male control. There are a lot of interesting articles on the site.” “Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.” “[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Taken In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many so-called ‘doms’ will even think to aspire to.” “Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.” “I feel the best spanking site is Taken in Hand. I have referred hundreds of people to that site and have the link on my Yahoo profile.” “First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.” “[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal “I enjoyed [Taken In Hand] very much and I recommend that everyone here visits it.” “Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, dominance, submission (not the leather-and-stud kind), in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.” “Taken In Hand: Fascinating BDSM blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!” “The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.” “It's a great site.” “If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)” “great site.” “There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.) “[Taken In Hand] is really the most beautiful website devoted to DD.” “[Taken In Hand] is my major kink” “[Taken In Hand is an] erudite and intelligent site” “[Taken In Hand is a]n excellent site with many thought-provoking articles and responses.” “[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!” “[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are ‘seemingly’ natural allies.” “As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting to be dominated” “I was delighted to receive word of Taken In Hand. ... a very thoughtful and well-written group blog. ... I'm looking forward to reading through this blog the way I look forward to reading a new novel by a favorite author. It looks that good.” “Wow. This site is so amazing.” ““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website ... from a MaleDom/femsub perspective ... [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other ‘traditional marriage’ sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.” “[Taken In Hand is] a brill resource.... for info articles... and real life experiences” “A very cool site” “Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women” “a great site” “an exremely high quality site... I highly recommend [Taken In Hand].” “fantastic site” “Intéressant à lire” “Un site remarquable” “[Y]our site rocks!” “Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful even if you don't use corporal punishment.” “a wonderful site” “the best there is” “The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.” “What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was ‘different’ than most.” “GREAT site” “Website of the Month” Other |
Having consent to take her whenever you want assumes that you will act wiselyLet me first dispense with the obvious. Women who have not given men consent to have sex with them should not be forced to have sex. That would be rape. It is a vile act and men who rape should be jailed or worse. But there is a more subtle issue to consider. Some women on this site have said that they have given their husband consent to take them whenever he wishes. They relish the idea of consensual non-consent – they want to give their man the authority to disregard their stated wishes, and instead wish to allow him to proceed with the sex act if he chooses, or even to call the act rape itself! But even when implicit consent has been given, a man should not always satisfy his sexual desires, even if the ongoing marital agreement allows him to do so. Everyone may recognize that a boss in a business has the right to make decisions and have the employees abide by those decisions even if they disagree. But it is also reasonable for employees to expect the boss to take into account their interests, even if they must abide by the boss's decisions regardless. This assumes that the boss is generally reasonable and that his decisions do not harm his employees. If a husband is blessed with a Taken in Hand wife who has given him consent to take her whenever he feels like it, that does not mean that he will take her without any consideration of his wife. The husband in a Taken In Hand relationship is expected to put his wife and their relationship first, rather than acting as a self-serving narcissist. If his wife is currently psychologically or physically disturbed such that being taken would not make her feel good, better, or improve her outlook in some way, the husband has no business taking advantage of his authority and forcing himself on her. A loving and protective man, given the gift of control and leadership in his relationship, must not only do what his authority allows, but also what is right. As Bailey put it:
The husband in a Taken In Hand relationship is sensitive to his wife's needs. He would not take or take in hand his wife if she were at that time in a claustrophobic panic, very sick, or genuinely terrified. He exercises good judgement. As Bailey put it:
Furthermore, because the husband in a Taken In Hand relationship is sensitive to his wife's needs and protects her wellbeing, his wife feels no need to hold on to control to protect herself. As Bailey put it:
So to the men reading this: if you want your wife to give you more control, or you want her to give you consent to take her whenever you wish, ask yourself if there is anything you are doing or failing to do that might be causing your wife to feel unable to make herself vulnerable in that way? Does she feel safe with you? Do you have self-control? Do you put her and your relationship first? Are you sensitive to her feelings? If you are not sure, ask her what you could do differently to make her feel more inclined to give you the control you seek. Taken In Hand Tour start | next Have you seen the following articles? How is this different from other male-led relationships? The anchor of love The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle: a critique Communication, consent and connection Each relationship is a unique work in progress Now I want my husband all the time Taking her in hand is not a contact sport Each relationship is a unique work in progress This man's authority just IS Is a Taken In Hand relationship for everyone? 2007 Jun 13 - 19:55 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article | permanent link
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