The difference between dominant and domineering

I think it is important to differentiate between dominant and domineering. In my mind, a dominant person is one who takes charge. The role of the dominant person in any relationship is as much mentor and guide as anything else. It is a responsibility. Domineering on the other hand seeks subjugation over submission and usually is based on severe insecurities and total lack of trust.

The reason I say insecurity is because they can not even trust those who love them to love them. They do not love themselves, they are incapable of accepting the love of others. More, they are incapable of trust and letting go.

Dominance and submission is often referred to as a power exchange. Submission, even when taken, is still given willingly. Domineering and subjugation is just about power. Who has it, who loses it. That is, in my opinion, not at all about love and support. Domineering and subjugation are not about building, they are about tearing down. Not about growth but instead about destruction.

LAR

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Have you seen the following articles?
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
The alpha male and masculine power
The dance of consent
We're not all submissive!
Is the man's authority real if consent can be revoked?
The carrot or the stick?
If you want a woman to submit, here's what it takes
Love and fear
Consent, control, connection
I don't want to be a servant or slave

2004 Mar 6 - 08:24 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |