Responding to his loving control

I was recently introduced to Taken In Hand. A year ago I would have scoffed had anyone told me I’d be feeling as I do now. Any thoughts I’d ever had of being captivated (or captured) by a masterful man were put in the same category as any Cinderella fantasies: the childish results of an overactive imagination.

What I have learned and experienced is so different from what I had imagined a male-led relationship would be.

Most of the time, my man is a compelling voice whispering in my ear. He gently strokes me, encourages me, reassures me, and urges me onward. He asks for nothing in return. He is just there, directing, guiding, leading, supporting. Although I always enjoyed at least a modicum of control in previous relationships, I am now delighted to give up that control and respond to his lead. I am grateful for his care and thrilled by his gentle, soft-spoken nature.

I understand and appreciate that there are many women on this site who crave a man who expresses his commanding presence immediately. For me, however, that would have been a disaster. What I needed and received from my man was a gentle touch as he established his authority in our relationship. It is only now, after almost a year, that I can feel that same thrill when he is firm and direct and I feel as if I have no choice in the matter but to respond to him positively. My response to his command hits me on all levels – the thrill is cognitive, emotional, and physical.

I do not know why this man chose me for a takeninhand relationship. I was (and still am) sassy and spunky. Obedience was not an option and I had no desire to submit to anyone. It is only through his firm commitment to me and to our relationship that I have been willing to give up my control. His loving leadership won me over. His gentle authority and giving manner opened new doors for me. I am thrilled when he says I am his, and I know that, although the words are not used in the same way, he is mine, too. I’ve never felt sexier, smarter, or loved more deeply.

I think it’s very interesting that so many different paths can lead to the same happiness. Although my man is bigger and stronger (almost a foot taller and perhaps 75 pounds heavier), it is not his physical power that makes my heart melt. Although he can easily overpower me (and he sometimes does – and yes, it is bliss), it is his tenderness that makes me respond to him. Without that, his commanding presence would only frighten me. But when combined with tenderness, his commands make me turn into putty in his strong and masterful hands.

Pondering

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Have you seen the following articles?
When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...
How my husband took my clothing choices in hand
The healing power of taking her in hand
Keep your sense of humour!
Moving into a Taken In Hand relationship
Each relationship is a unique work in progress
Practical hints for men - times of stress
The making of a dominant man
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
My husband and I face the world as a team

2007 Apr 9 - 19:17 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

Thanks. A great endorsement f

Thanks. A great endorsement for "front-loading" tenderness, commitment, love, patience and above all sacrifice on the man's part. Trust built over a long period of time has been the currency that has bought me admission to a taken in hand relationship with my wife Sugar. Without the front-load she would've been scared out of her wits as she battled her internal struggles (and society's influence) regarding roles of men and women. She too is a lot different than when I married her almost 7 years ago. I strive to keep her a happy as you sound. Thanks for the post.

GreySeal

by GreySeal on 2007 Apr 9 - 20:49 | login or register to post comments

Amen!

Although my man is bigger and stronger (almost a foot taller and perhaps 75 pounds heavier), it is not his physical power that makes my heart melt. Although he can easily overpower me (and he sometimes does – and yes, it is bliss), it is his tenderness that makes me respond to him. Without that, his commanding presence would only frighten me. But when combined with tenderness, his commands make me turn into putty in his strong and masterful hands.

Without tenderness and thoughtfulness, I don't think a Taken in Hand relationship work for us either. There is much strength in these characteristics too.

by Kelleigh on 2007 May 2 - 11:28 | login or register to post comments

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