A small but touching act of kindness

My husband did the most amazing thing and I don't think he even realized what he did. I have these dishes that his mother and other female members of his family all went in together on and bought for us for a wedding present. They are handmade pottery and it's a huge set (16 dinner plates, 8 salad plates, bowls, platter, gravy boat, dutch oven, etc.) so I know it was very expensive.

The thing is, they are also really heavy and I have terrible repetitive stress injuries in both wrists from carpal tunnel and years of handstitching. So when I was using these dishes, I would have almost constant pain in my wrists from loading and unloading the dishwasher. So I boxed them up and we have been using plastic for a couple years. My excuse (which is true) has been that the kids are small and I don't want to risk breaking the others, plus they are too heavy for any of my kids to carry (the oldest at the time was six).

Now my youngest is two and I am starting to think about getting rid of most of my plastic and getting some “real” dishes. But if I go buy a new set I know that every time my mother-in-law comes to visit I will hear it... and hear it... and hear it... etc. I think she believes that if someone gives you a gift, you keep it forever and cherish it unless you decide you don't like that person anymore. So I have been having all this guilt about wanting to get rid of these dishes because we don't have the space to store them and I am never going to use them but then I don't want to deal with her hurt feelings, on and on and on.

So I was telling my husband about this. I say, “I want to get rid of them, but then what do I tell your mom? You know she is going to be insulted, no matter what I say about why I got rid of them and I hate to hurt her feelings because they were a really lovely gift and I picked out the pattern.” He just looks at me and says, “Stop. Don't worry about it. I'll tell her I don't like them.”

I know it sounds like a really small thing and it is in a way. But it was also so touching to me. It just said to me that he was on my side. He was willing to protect me from the rude comments she's going to make and from the guilt trip that she'll try to lay. It was just a reminder that his main concern is my peace of mind. I felt so cherished and protected by him. I think that I spend so much time thinking about my own submission that I forget what he brings: his protection. It was like being reminded of the other side of being Taken in Hand and of why I love this man.

Otter

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No a small thing. . . .

Dear Otter,

I thought that was a beautiful little story. To me, it spoke volumes of your husband's love and care for you. Thanks for sharing it!

SA

Lovely Protection

I know how you feel. My husband has always been concerned and caring, but since beginning our Taken In Hand relationship, I feel his protection so much more. I have to go to my parent's this coming weekend for my father's birthday. I was dreading it because it's a ten hour drive, AND I have a hard time standing up to my mother and sister's verbal attacks. It is too far to take the kids for the weekend, so my husband was going to stay home with them. When I expressed anxiety over dealing with my mother and sister, he said, "I'll go with you," even though it meant paying hundreds of dollars for a caretaker to stay with our kids for the four-day weekend. Before Taken In Hand, I would have felt guilty about asking him--now it just felt so good to know that he wuld WANT to help me and protect me when I needed him! Charlotte

Mothers-in-law

Since discovering this site, I have come to realise more and more how lucky I am to have my husband, I never fully appreciated him before.

I'm now also beginning to realise that I am lucky to have the mother-in-law I do as well, I find her midly irritating now and again, but she is basically an amiable, well-disposed woman with very sound views on Poriot, Columbo etc. I used to think hellish mothers-in-law only existed in jokes, but evidently they're there in real life too. It's a sobering thought.

Thank you

I think that this was a very caring and loving thing to do. How beautiful!

I have been away from this site for a time as I became very ill and came close to dying recently. I see life a bit differently from the way I used to. When I left for the hospital a couple of weeks ago I kissed our daughter goodbye and I was very saddened at the thought that I would not see our family again. My husband and I have been in love with each other for 34 years and I am so grateful to be alive and spend my life with him and our children.

I am also thankful for this site because of what it has done for our relationship. Thank you. And thank you to all of you who care enough to share, give your wisdom and share the love in your lives!

Brave people

How great you came through and are back here, Kat!

And how right you are about the immense good the boss is doing with this site.

(And to Otter: your husband is a very brave man ...)

Theo
chas_dar-at-yahoo.co.uk

Small acts of Kindness

This was certainly a wonderful demonstration of his love and protection of you... I think sometimes we pass over the little things... Ahava

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