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Taken in Hand articles

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Women who take responsibility for their own actions

Saying things for effect

The power of a woman who submits to her man

I want... to be possessed

Prevention is better than cure

Is Taken In Hand control real?

Shades of grey

Why you should not withhold spanking!

Giving up control is not easy

Who says you have to be submissive?

Do you 'meet as equals' or 'establish roles from the outset'?

Alternative therapy

Leadership, strength, emotional intimacy

Things can change

A smile man

Do you think he doesn't have it in him?

Don't go into your cave, get out your preferred implement!

Actions speak louder than words

Don't forget your whip

Si vis pacem, para bellum

The subjection of women

It's not about blame, so forget ‘fairness’!

Taken In Hand accolades

“[S]ince the day I [discovered Taken In Hand] I have rediscovered my feminity.”
- Saima from Pakistan

“[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with pain, and pleasure. Domination roles. Submissive roles. The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.”
- Dutchman

“Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really. The site is about male-led relationships which do not necessarily have to involve spanking. The owner of the site is more interested in other aspects of male control. There are a lot of interesting articles on the site.”
- Louise C

“Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.”
- Frank Nelson

“[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Taken In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many so-called ‘doms’ will even think to aspire to.”
- Sara

“Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.”
- Louise

“I feel the best spanking site is Taken in Hand. I have referred hundreds of people to that site and have the link on my Yahoo profile.”
- Tess

“First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.”
- Eric

“[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal
woman. [T]hen I stumbled onto the Taken in Hand website. I have never felt such relief, such internal peace in my life. This whole idea of being loved and trusting enough in another to place my, his and our well-being into his hands was exactly what I have been searching for my whole life. I spent 16 hours just reading... It is like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
- Melissa

“I enjoyed [Taken In Hand] very much and I recommend that everyone here visits it.”
- Loveart

“Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, dominance, submission (not the leather-and-stud kind), in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.”
- HoneyBun

“Taken In Hand: Fascinating BDSM blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!”
- Polly Peachum

“The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.”
- Michael Masterson

“It's a great site.”
- Gem

“If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)”
- Jacqueline Passey

“great site.”
- valerie

“There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.)
Some of us don't even like thinking of this as a lifestyle. [...]
If you are interested in this kind of relationship but are not interested in BDSM or D/s or DD or spanking websites, there's a new website for you: Taken In Hand”
- Tom Newman

“[Taken In Hand] is really the most beautiful website devoted to DD.”
- PaLady

“[Taken In Hand] is my major kink”
- Spoiledgrrl

“[Taken In Hand is an] erudite and intelligent site”
- Emily Cox

“[Taken In Hand is a]n excellent site with many thought-provoking articles and responses.”
- Doug

“[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!”
- Malcolm

“[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are ‘seemingly’ natural allies.”
- zbigdogX

“As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting to be dominated”
- GypsyGirl

“I was delighted to receive word of Taken In Hand. ... a very thoughtful and well-written group blog. ... I'm looking forward to reading through this blog the way I look forward to reading a new novel by a favorite author. It looks that good.”
- SpankBoss

“Wow. This site is so amazing.”
- Ken

““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website ... from a MaleDom/femsub perspective ... [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other ‘traditional marriage’ sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.”
- Dee

“[Taken In Hand is] a brill resource.... for info articles... and real life experiences”
- Spirited Angel

“A very cool site”
- The Yeti

“Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women”
- Mary

“a great site”
- Jana Peterson

“an exremely high quality site... I highly recommend [Taken In Hand].”
- Helen

“fantastic site”
- Danevah

“Intéressant à lire”
- Discipline Domestique

“Un site remarquable”
- Camille Meudon

“[Y]our site rocks!”
- Howard Frank

“Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful even if you don't use corporal punishment.”
- Katy

“a wonderful site”
- CoHC

“the best there is”
- Kathy

“The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.”
- Revan

“What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was ‘different’ than most.”
- Carla

“GREAT site”
- SweetBrat

“Website of the Month”
- TBPFS

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Is being taken in hand self-sacrificing for a woman?

[This is an FAQ question (answers to frequently-asked questions). Please ensure that your post answers the question. Click here for the FAQ index.]

Does being taken in hand imply self-sacrifice for the woman?

It is sometimes argued that Taken In Hand is a self-sacrificing choice for a woman. The idea that some women might prefer a Taken In Hand relationship over a different kind of relationship seems, to some, beyond belief.

Surely these women must be merely going along with it or suffering it?!

Well no, actually, they aren't. Strange and difficult to believe though it may be for some, many woman actively want this kind of relationship, and when in such a relationship, they are very happy.

Any woman who is happy to be taken in hand clearly has deep psychological problems and a masochistic compulsion to destroy herself.

False. There is nothing self-destructive about a Taken In Hand relationship. There is nothing self-sacrificial about it. It does not involve gritting your teeth and suffering your own destruction in the name of a belief. And it does not mean that the woman has deep psychological problems.

It is perfectly possible to be completely sane and not in any way given to unhealthy masochistic self-destructive tendencies, and to choose to be in a Taken In Hand relationship.

When people argue that Taken In Hand is a self-sacrificing, or even immolating, choice for a woman, they are making the mistake of projecting their own preferences onto the woman and assuming that she must have the same preferences, and that if she does not, it must be because she is irrational, unhinged, and deeply troubled.

Taken In Hand is not for everyone. It requires psychological maturity, strength and autonomy. And if it is not your cup of tea, it's not your cup of tea. But for those who prefer to be in a Taken In Hand relationship, it is not self-destructive, it is self-enhancing, strengthening and conducive to personal growth. For those who prefer it, it is not self-sacrificial suffering, it feels, if anything, self-indulgently thrilling! It is not self-denial but the exploration of and evolution of the self in a relationship. It is not second best but the heart's desire.

For those who prefer a Taken In Hand relationship, there is pain not in being in a Taken In Hand relationship, but in not being in one. For those who prefer it, being in a Taken In Hand relationship does not destroy their autonomy; on the contrary, it allows them to be more fully themselves than would be possible were they not in such a relationship.

That is the Taken In Hand experience – it is absolutely nothing to do with self-sacrifice. It is about joy and peace and harmony and excitement and fun and laughter and scaling the highest mountain of life with someone you love passionately and completely.

See also:
The joy of the master-queen dynamic
Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be
Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!
Why did it take us 20 years?
Keep your sense of humour!
The erotic power of the unshackled man
How is this different from other male-led relationships?
Why do some prefer a Taken In Hand relationship to a conventional relationship?
Women want men who are more dominant
Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?

FAQ index

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the boss

2005 Sep 17 - 13:16 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article | permanent link

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