//I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure//
//I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing//
"I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith
Armageddon Soundtrack
November 2017
Buffy's House in Capeside
They arrived in Capeside just before dawn. Driving quickly through the deserted streets, Angel directed the car to a small, lonely house perched on a cliff overlooking the Pacific. He took their bags from the car and followed Buffy across the porch and into the house. They entered into a large open living room with a fireplace to the one side and a kitchen-dining area located towards the back of the room. A staircase was opposite the fireplace.
"Why don't you take your stuff upstairs?" Buffy said. "I'll start closing down the shades."
The upstairs of the house had a single bedroom located off a balcony that overlooked the downstairs. Angel quickly placed his bag in the room and returned downstairs to help Buffy.
"It's a nice house. You live here alone?"
"No, I have Spike and Dru to keep me company."
"Spike and Dru?" Angel's face was wary as he the question.
"Yes, Spike and Dru. My dogs! I couldn't help it. I had to do it. The look on your face..." Buffy laughed as Angel came over and grabbed her in a hug.
"Whatever possessed you to call them Spike and Dru?"
"When Willow gave them to me I swore they were possessed by demons. They destroyed everything in their path, especially leather. I had to hide your jacket for the first two years. It didn't help that Spike was yellow lab and Dru was a black lab. Actually Xander suggested it. I shocked him when I listened to him. They're at the neighbor's right now. I'll get them later. Trust me, you'll love them."
Angel picked up his jacket from where he had left it on the couch and clutched it to him protectively. "Buffy, I'm not much of a dog person."
Buffy smiled at him brightly. "Love me, love my dogs."
The first few days passed, and they began to settle into a routine. After an initial period of adjustment and growling on the part of all three, Angel and the dogs called a truce. Buffy was no longer working so she easily adapted to Angel's nocturnal habits. They spent hours together, talking in front of the fireplace, taking long walks on the beach with the dogs or quietly sitting on the porch swing.
"So, you've been around for how long now? 260 years give or take?"
"Yes. Why?" Angel asked as they followed the dogs down the beach. He put his arm around Buffy's shoulder and pulled her close, snugging the blanket she wore around her shoulders tighter.
"Hey, watch it! I still need to be able to breathe you know! I don't know. I mean you've seen a lot in that time. What was the greatest thing you've ever seen?" Buffy led him over to a flat rock that had become their favorite discussion spot. Angel sat down behind Buffy and she quickly leaned back against him. He was quiet as he thought for a moment.
"Something I'm still seeing now. Your face everytime I wake up. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"No really. You've seen life change completely. What amazed you the most?"
"Buffy, things were pretty simple in Ireland before I met Darla. Then when I became a vampire, well, let's just say that the only changes I truly appreciated were those that let me spread a little more terror around. After the curse I was to busy wallowing in guilt and trying to survive to really care. It was only after Whistler came to me in New York and showed you to me that I began to care about the world around me. I began to care about you and to me that was the most amazing thing." Angel's voice had gotten softer as he spoke until it was almost drowned out by the sound of the waves. He stopped speaking for a moment, lost in thought. Speaking up he said, "I don't want to think of what my life would have been like if I hadn't found you."
"The same here Angel. The same here."
A rainy night two days later found them cuddled in front of the fire. Buffy had been amazed at how much Angel enjoyed touching her. They slept entwined like spoons and were never farther then an arms length away when they sat together to read or to talk.
Mischievously poking Angel in the ribs Buffy looked at him and asked, "So, what are we going to do tonight? Want to play some more chess?"
Angel groaned at the thought. "I think we'll pass on that. I can't keep all your rules straight. In the chess I play only rooks can move straight. How about we...." A loud knocking interrupted his suggestion. They glanced at each other as Buffy got up to open the door. Surreptitiously she held a stake behind her back. "Who's there?" A reply too muffled for Angel to hear caused Buffy to fling open the door and throw herself into the wet arms of Willow?
"Willow! What are you doing here? Don't you have some book of gloom and doom you should be researching? Oz, you superstar, come in out of the rain." Intent on dragging the wet and bedraggled pair in off the porch Buffy didn't think about Angel standing in the middle of her living room. She realized her mistake when Willow froze while in the process of taking off her bright yellow raincoat. "Angel?"
The small Watcher stood frozen for a second longer, and then launched herself across the room into the shocked vampire's arms. "What are you doing here? Oh my God it's so good to see you. What are you doing here? Oz, look Angel's here! Oh my God, Buffy why didn't you tell me?"
Oz laughed as he walked into the room. "You're getting a better reception the I usually get. Should I be jealous?"
Angel smiled as he disentangled himself from Willow's arms. He crossed the room and shook Oz's hand. "It's good to see you. Werewolves of London, hmmm?"
"Whatever works man!"
Buffy smiled to see some of the most important people in her life together and happy in one room. The smile faded as a calmer Willow once again questioned why Angel was there and why Buffy hadn't told her.
With a warning look at Angel, Buffy began to speak. "I went down to LA to do some Christmas shopping last week. I was walking through the mall when my Slayer sense starting acting up after all this time. I looked up and there he was. We just got back and have been spending time together catching up. I'm sorry for not letting you know. We just wanted some time to ourselves. So what brings you two here tonight?"
Willow frowned for a second. Something about Buffy's story didn't feel right. But everything seemed ok as she looked around the room. The crackling fire made it obvious that she and Oz had interrupted a quiet evening at home. Deciding to figure it out later, she responded brightly to Buffy. "Oz has this week off. The full moon begins tomorrow night so he came back to visit me. I had been thinking that I hadn't seen you in a while so we decided to surprise you with a visit. We'll leave if we're interrupting anything."
"Nonsense!" Angel declared. "We were just trying to figure out what to do. Buffy wanted to play chess."
"I've played chess with Buffy" Willow laughed. "I don't think I'm up to the challenge tonight."
"How about some poker?" Oz inquired with a grin.
"Perfect!" Buffy left the group and began to pull food out of the kitchen. "I've got munchies!"
Several laughter-filled hours later Willow was declared the winner by virtue of a small mountain of gumdrops piled in front of her. She giggled as she swept them all into a bowl. Oz and Angel had ventured into the storm to take a look at the ocean's fury and Willow decided to take advantage of the moment. "Have you told Giles that Angel is back?"
"No, and I don't intend to. He's so alone right now. I couldn't bear to call him and tell him that I have the love of my life back. Please don't say anything, Will."
"I don't know if that's right, keeping something like that from him. He always wanted you to be happy, Buffy."
"Willow, he hurt so badly when he saw Angel and I together after Angel got back. Even if he wanted me to be happy I couldn't do that to him."
"So you're just going to hide Angel from him for the rest of your life?"
Buffy was saved from having to reply when the door opened and Angel and Oz came through. "Will, the storm seems to have stopped. We'd better get going. I have that practice tomorrow at ten." Buffy silently thanked Oz for saving her from answering questions she wasn't ready to face.
"Okay, we'd better go then. Buffy take care of Angel, and Angel you take care of Buffy! It was so good to see you both. I'll see you soon!" With a flurry of hugs Willow and Oz headed out the door.
Buffy closed the door and walked with Angel to their usual spot in front of the fireplace. "It was good to see them again," Buffy stated softly.
"Yes it was" Angel replied. "I don't think I ever realized how much I missed them until now. You're lucky to have friends like that."
"Angel, they're your friends too. They always have been. They always will be."
"I know, Buffy. It's just hard to accept after being alone so long." Silence settled in as they sat and watched the flames, each lost in thought. After a while Angel looked down. Buffy was fast asleep. She looked beautiful. He frowned as he thought of losing her. The past few days had been idyllic, but he knew it was only a matter of time. He wasn't sure, but it seemed like each day she got a little thinner or moved a little more slowly. Settling back against the cushions he held her close. He had spent many hours like this since they had returned, just silently watching her sleep. He knew the memories of these times would be what would sustain him after she was gone.
The following evening, Buffy quietly sat on the porch and watched the sun set. As if to make up for the violence of the previous night the sunset was picture perfect. The sun slid into the sea with a blaze of red, orange and gold. The first stars were beginning to appear when Angel joined her on the swing. They sat silently looking out over the black Pacific as the full moon rose.
Angel was the first to break the silence. "I guess Oz is locked up somewhere by now."
"What? Oh yeah, I'm sure." Buffy's voice was distracted as she continued to look across the water.
"What's with you tonight? You seem sorta distracted."
"I guess I'm just thinking about Giles. Willow wanted to know if I had told him you were back."
"What did you tell her?" he quietly asked. He was afraid of this conversation. The hurt he had caused the Watcher so long ago still felt fresh in his heart.
"I told her no and asked her not to say anything. Right now he's relatively happy in England. It's taken him a long time to feel that way. I don't want to upset him now. It's going to be hard enough for him when I'm gone."
"Buffy, I think you're wrong. I think you should tell him you're sick. You should tell all of them. You're really going to hurt them by not letting them say good-bye." Angel's voice broke as he spoke to her.
"It would hurt them more if they came here to see me. I've always been strong for them. It was bad enough when they saw I could no longer be the slayer. I don't want them to see me dying. It's better they remember me the way I was. Don't fight me on this Angel, please?"
He could hear the tears in her voice and wordlessly nodded his head in agreement. They spent the rest of the night staring out to sea in silence.