Disclaimer in part one.
*************************************
I looked at the horrified expressions on the faces around me and knew that their feelings mirrored my own. Disgust, dread, and overwhelming compassion for Buffy raced through my heart. We stood there for a few moments before Giles took a some tentative steps over to the neon highlighted door. Glancing at the "Open All Night" sign briefly, he tugged the door open.
I stared at the door for a few more seconds before heading in after the others. Oz took my arm reassuringly. We walked inside together and I tried to prepare myself for what we were going to see. I fervently hoped Buffy was ali-- okay. I took a deep breath as we reached a desk, or something that could've passed as one, anyway. A leg was broken and held together with duct tape, and the stained white paint was chipped and peeling. I looked around. The walls were no better, almost worse. I shuddered.
Giles rang the little desk bell. As a man with a cigar hanging loosely from his lips came out from behind a curtain, I noticed Giles's hesitant posture change. He suddenly became the Watcher, strong, brilliant and confident. I had never seen him more at his element, strange as though it may sound. His voice came out booming and made the cigarguy stand up straight.
"A young woman registered here today. Tell me what room she's in. Now." The guy, Bob, as his nametag read, didn't like being ordered around and smirked at us.
"Hey, yeah, I can't do that. It would be illegal. You know." He took a puff from his cigar and blew it near my face. I almost started to choke. His eyes wandered slowly down my body and I shivered, not liking what I saw in his eyes. He roamed over to Cordelia and did the same. She pressed herself against Xander and he wrapped his arms around he, giving Bob a dangerous look. Oz was doing the same thing and I breathed a sigh of relief when Giles spoke again, drawing the attention away from us.
He spoke low and seriously. "Yes, I suppose it would be. With adults. But my daughter is a minor, and you could get arrested for this, if I should so choose. Take heed of this warning, it's the one chance you'll get." Bob looked at him nervously, and I could tell that he was wondering if her could really get arrested or not. He finally decided that it wasn't worth the risk and took a book out of the drawer. He handed it over quickly, and I noticed the tremor in his hands. Giles snatched it from him and flipped to the dates entry.
"There!" He spoke loudly. Too loudly. Lowering his voice a little he pointed to the name. "Anne Winters, Room 5, 2:45 pm." I glanced over his arm and saw a glimpse of handwriting. Buffy's handwriting. My breath caught excitedly. He pinned Bob with another look. "Give me the key." Bob handed it over quickly.
"She ain't in there. She left as soon as it got dark, said that she had some things to do. Not like I was hitting on her, or anything," he rushed to explain. He looked at Giles nervously before asking his next question. "Hey, you're not gonna, you know, call the cops or anything, right? I mean, I didn't know she was underage."
"Consider yourself lucky that I don't," he said. Almost an afterthought, he added, "If you see her when she gets back, don't tell her that we're here. I'd like to talk to her before anyone else does." Bob nodded understandingly.
"That's okay. I got a daughter, too. Ran away at sixteen to be with her boyfriend. Yours run away for something like that? Because of her boyfriend?" He sounded almost sympathetic.
Giles lifted his head. "Yes, something like that..." He voice had gotten considerably softer. He turned to Bob again. "Well, thank you for your cooperation."
Bob shrugged. "Sure. I just wish someone could help me to get my little girl back. Why don't you go in her room and wait for her? It's gotta be cooler in there than it is in here. We got air conditioning most of the time." He turned and went back behind the curtain.
Giles gestured his arm and we followed him down to the last room in the hall. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. The rest of us followed suit. I looked around. The yellowed sheets were rumpled and Buffy's stakes lay everywhere. The room was a mess. Joyce sucked in her breath. It was scary to see how messed up she was. What little regard she still had for any of her things. Understandable, I guess, but scary.
I looked at my watch. It was almost three. Assuming that Buffy had gone on the hunt, she wouldn't be too much longer, I surmised. I sat down hesitantly on her bed. The thing looked like it would break with too much pressure. I was right. Xander flopped down beside me declaring how bushed he was. It broke. His side crashed into the ground with a resounding thud. We all burst into laughter. It was slightly strained, but it took away the quiet fear we had all been feeling.
Cordelia looked at his shocked face with a snicker. "Xander, keep gaining weight like you are, and I'll have to dump you," she teased. He chuckled in embarrassment and pointed to me.
"I'm not the one who has been on that weird hospital diet. I'm only the straw that broke the camels back."
Oz came to my defense, smiling. "Yeah, the straw that jumped with all of his weight onto the camel." The banter helped smooth my ruffled nerves. It almost seemed like home. Kind of.
I got up and headed to the tiny bathroom near the door. I hadn't realized that we had been traveling for so long. My bladder started actually talking. Stuff like, "Help me. Help me now. You are going to die." I giggled at my absurd thoughts.
When I came out, I stopped in the hallway for a moment to view my friends. They were talking quietly, Oz and Cordelia to Xander. Giles to Joyce. My heart filled for them all, with such love that I could hardly bear feeling it. It washed over me in waves and I felt my eyes feel with tears as I watched them. All but one of them. The missing equation. My happy thoughts were knocked down when I was. From behind.
Someone rolled on top of me and my first thought was that it was Xander trying to protect me from something. I cried out as my arms were squished underneath my stomach.
"Oh, God," came the startled reply. The pressure lifted off of me and I rubbed my arms as I got to my feet. The room was silent. I looked around. It was Buffy.
No one took their eyes off of her. For having been gone for a day, she looked so different! My heart screamed in my chest against the differences. The unkempt, dirty hair. The scared, guilty expression. Her skin tone was dull and sallow where it had been so vibrant even three days ago. But the scariest thing were her eyes.
Her eyes weren't simply solemn and sad. I think I could've handled that. They were dead. Utterly void of emotion. Except guilt. I knew that she was experiencing what Angel had felt when his soul had fist been restored so many years ago. Her eyes rested on her mother for a moment and I could see the remembrance of the harsh words flung at her. My heart tightened.
I could feel everything she was going through all of a sudden and my tears escaped. The only difference in our emotions was that I felt hope. I pulled her into my arms silently as the understanding of it all passed between us. She stood rigidly for a minute while I sobbed and then melted, putting her arms around me. He tears leaked out and she was quiet at first, but soon all you could hear were her harsh sobs and rough crying. She hugged me tighter than I would've thought before that it was humanly possible to withstand, but I just held her closer and tried to croon comforting words in her ear through my own tears.
I led the still weeping Slayer over to the bed and sat down on it. She sank to her knees on the ground and rested her head on my lap. Her words were incoherent, but I could somehow understand them. "I didn't think anyone would love me after this. Why do you still love me, Willow? I don't deserve anything..." she said brokenly.
I smoothed her hair back with my hand, stroking it softly, giving her something to concentrate on. I leaned down so that she could hear me. "Shhh. Shhh, it's okay, Buffy. It's going to be okay, I promise. We all love you, we all love you and it will be all right." She lifted her head up and stared at me with a tearstained face. Her voice stopped contributing to her sorrow, but the tears continued, silently running over her cheeks and dripping off her chin.
"Why?" That one word. That one word, that one question expressed to me everything I had not already known. Her loneliness, her heartache. Her complete hopelessness at her life. She was actually confused at why we would continue to love her after what had happened. I put my hand to my chest to try and stop the pain I was feeling there. I didn't know all of this was possible. I had been through more hurt and despair in the last two days than in my entire life.
"Because you're you," I said softly. Everyone in the room was completely still, watching. "Because you're Buffy, and no matter what you think you did to not deserve it, we'll never stop loving you." She laid her head back on my knees and her shoulders started shaking with silent weeping. I lifted my eyes to Joyce. She nodded slowly, understanding finally why she would live with Buffy's life.
Joyce reached her hand forward and placed it hesitantly on Buffy's back. Buffy jerked her head up at some spark of recognition at the touch and stared at her mother for a long moment. She got to her feet heavily and fell into her mothers open arms. Joyce wrapped her arms around her heartbroken daughter in the same fashion I had, but she was saying different words.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Buffy..." Oz walked over to me and took my hand as we all stared, speechless, at the sight. A mother and daughter, reunited, paid no attention to the spectators. They simply held each other and cried, blocking out the rest of the world.
I looked over at Giles who had taken off his glasses and was crying with the rest of us. Buffy lifted one of her arms and waved at him, inviting him into the embrace. I sucked in my breath at the touching sight. Giles launched himself across the little room in two strides and enfolded them both in his arms. The Watcher held the Slayer. It was the most moving thing I had ever seen in my life. And in the past few days, I had seen quite a few.
He finally released them and looked at her seriously, needing to tell her. "Buffy. We can get Angel back."
Her eyes widened and she stopped breathing for a second. She didn't even question how we knew what had happened.
Her voice came out a breathy whisper. "How?"
"We need to do it soon. The longer we wait, the less sure it will be that he'll make it." Xander's eyes darted to me for a moment before going back to Giles. "And it won't work. He will be stuck there. We need to do it by midnight." She nodded.
"Okay. I'll do whatever I have to." She went around and collected her things hurriedly, giving my hand a squeeze as she passed by. We left the stuffy room quickly and headed for the car.
I was shocked that so much time had past when I looked at my watch again. Time well spent, though, helping Buffy heal, letting her cry. The time was 7:04 in the morning.