Summary: Angel's back but he's been keeping a really, really low profile. Joyce
lets him know what she thinks about that.
Rating: G
Spoilers: Pretty mild, if you don't know what's happened by now you shouldn't
be reading the fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wouldn't be this cruel if they did belong to me
Thanks: Andrea for encouraging me. You owe me a story now! And Rebecca for all
that grammar checking and for letting me take up board space!
The sun had set and darkness descended by the time Joyce Summers closed and locked the gallery door. With a worried frown she glanced at the indigo sky and debated the wisdom of trying to find a ride. Buffy had warned her of the dangers that could be found in Sunnydale's darkened streets, but it seemed impossible that she would get into trouble on the short walk to the house. Wrapping her jacket tightly around her, she turned from the door and started to walk briskly up the street.
She had walked about three blocks and was just reaching the darkest part of her journey when she heard footsteps echoing her own. Hurrying to stand under the lone street lamp, she reached into her pocket and grabbed hold of the wooden cross Buffy had insisted she carry; whirling around she searched the darkness.
"I know you're out there. Leave me alone. All I want to do is go home." She tried to keep her voice level and not let the fear she felt inside show through.
The footsteps continued to echo until a dark form could be see just outside the dim circle of light. The shape stopped, seemed to hesitate for a second, and then stepped into the light.
Reacting quickly she fumbled with the cross in her pocket, pulling it out and thrusting it towards Angel's face. He quickly averted his gaze and took a step back to the very fringes of the light. "You!" was her shocked cry.
"I'm sorry I scared you. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. I'm sure Buffy's told you how dangerous it can be around here after dark." Angel kept his voice low and even. He realized how badly he had unintentionally scared the woman. "You can keep on heading home. I'll follow and make sure nothing bothers you."
Recovering from her shock she quickly shoved the cross back into her pocket. She knew this was one vampire that was no threat to her. "Wait, walk with me. I'd like to talk to you. Please?"
Angel approached warily. What could Joyce Summers possibly want with him? Side by side in awkward silence they began to walk down the block. Joyce was the first to speak.
"How are you? I know Buffy's been very worried about you. She says you haven't been around."
"I'm okay. As far as being around, I'll always be around. She just won't see me." His voice was filled with regret as he spoke. In his mind he could picture the nights he had been on patrol at her side, not hidden in the distant shadows. "She doesn't need me in her life now."
Joyce stopped and stared at the vampire. "How do you know what she needs in her life right now? Did you ask her?"
"How can you ask me that? I would think you'd be happy I'm leaving her alone. Don't you know what I did to her?" He asked incredulously.
"I know what the demon did to her. But I also know what you did for her. You loved her, you protected her, and you saved her life. I think you would die before you let anything hurt her." She looked him straight in the eye as she spoke, pinning him in place with her steady gaze.
"I would," he answered softly.
"Do you still love her?"
"I'll never stop."
"Then how can you keep hurting her like this?" Her voice rose as she asked the question and Angel could suddenly see the anguish hidden behind her calm exterior.
"I'm staying away to keep from hurting her. We were crazy enough to try and make things work. You know how that turned out. I can't take a chance of hurting her again. I remember the look in her eyes every time I taunted her. My God, the look on her face the first time I saw her after her birthday, the things I said to her..." He stalked around Joyce like a caged beast. She could hear the pain in his voice and for a brief second was frightened, not for herself, but for the tormented man she saw before her.
"Angel," she spoke quietly as she lay her hand upon his arm. "I know I don't know or understand half of what has happened between you and Buffy over the last two years. All I know that you protected her for as long as you were able. I know that you saved her life that first night I met you. I know that you helped her when the assassins were sent after her. I know that she felt completely responsible for you losing your soul. And I know that she was destroyed when she had to send you to hell. When we found her..." Joyce stopped speaking for a second and swallowed a sob. Her voice shook as she continued to speak. "She was just an empty shell. I didn't think we could ever make her whole again. And then Giles found the spell to bring you back, it was the first time I saw a spark of life in my baby's eyes. She was so happy you would get out, but she was so scared that you would hate her. No, stop. Let me finish." She brushed aside Angel's protest and spoke again, focusing her gaze on his face. "You came back and disappeared. You've broken her heart. She thinks you hate her. I've listened to her cry herself to sleep every night since you've been back. She still wears your ring. I've never seen her take your cross off. She still loves you despite what Angelus did. How can you think she'd be better off with out you? You're hurting her much more by staying away."
"I can't go near her. If I do it's going to start all over again. She's everything to me. I've felt things with her that I haven't felt in over two hundred and forty years. I can't go back and not care. Don't you understand?" Angel angrily asked the question. Turning his face away for a second, he paused. When he turned back to Joyce he was in full game face. She shivered for a second as she listened to the growl reverberating in his words. "This is what I am! A monster, a vampire! I don't deserve her! She's sunlight and life and love. I'm nothing but death and suffering! How could you want me near her?" He stopped speaking and once again turned away.
Hesitantly Joyce placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned back to face her and she was relieved to see that his features had returned to normal. She kept her hand on his arm as she spoke softly. "My baby goes out each night and faces terrors I can't imagine. I'm scared that one night she's going to go out and not come back. But I'm slowly learning to accept it. I want her to be happy and I want her to be safe. I think that you can help her with both. So maybe my reasons are selfish. But I still think they're good reasons. Think about that." She pulled her hand away and began to slowly walk up the block. Angel stood for a second and then hurried to catch up.
They walked in silence once again until the reached the end of Rubello Drive. Angel stopped at the corner and looked longingly at the light shining in Buffy's window.
Joyce followed his gaze and smiled, "I'd better get in. Buffy must be getting worried. Thank you for walking with me."
Angel shook his head and looked at Joyce with an expression of puzzlement on his face. "I don't get it. How can you be so calm about everything? About me? About what I've done?"
"I've told you why. It wasn't you. As for my daughter, the slayer, loving a vampire... Well, let's just say that I've just learned to take a lot of things in stride in the past few months. If I really thought about everything that has happened I probably would go crazy." She smiled at Angel as she shook her head. "I want her to be happy. I want her to be safe. If that means welcoming a resouled vampire into my home... I can do that. Come talk to her."
Almost without thinking Angel began to follow her down the sidewalk. They reached the front porch and before he realized it Joyce had the door open.
"Is that you Mom? What took you so long? I wish you would've called me. You know how I feel about you walking around after dark." Buffy's voice rang out from the upper level of the house.
"Yes honey, I'm home safe and sound. Can you come down here please? I need to talk to you." Joyce turned to Angel and held out her hand. "Angel, come in. Please?"
The end