RATING: PG
TIME FRAME: The end of Becoming
SUMMARY: The last scene with Buffy and Angel from Angel’s POV (Oh, you knew it was coming sooner or later!)
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Buffy or Angel or any other characters mentioned in my humble story. I am merely borrowing them while bowing down at the feet of Joss, the WB, and all the other hot shot businesses that lay claim to this wonderful show
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Thanks to Kelly and LadyRHood (my BETA Reader) for all the inspiration, and also to all my friends who teased me about crying way too much over this last episode. This is my attempt to stopo my grief. I am also working on an alternate ending for Becoming. I am sorry, but I can’t let Angel go.

And Now I Wait

I feel like I have been slammed into a wall. My head jerks up and my eyes burn, unseeing. A gasp is ripped from my throat. The pain subsides, but not the buzzing in my head as I wipe away the tear in my eyes. I look down for a while to get my view in focus and then I look up. My gaze falls immediately on her.

"Buffy?" I whisper in confused joy.

Then I notice the raised sword in her hands. It looks as if she is above to strike at me. My head whirls, and I know that something happened that I can not remember.

"What's going on?" I wonder out loud.

I see my confusion mirrored in her eyes as I push myself to my feet. I gaze into her eyes and see hardness, coldness. Oh Buffy, what could have happened to give you eyes like those? But, beneath the hardness and pain I can see a glimmer of hope and recognition that seems almost afraid to peek out. What happened?!? I struggle to remember but all I can see is an alley, dark, and wet. My gaze sweeps the room I am now in and it doesn't take me long to realize I am no longer in that alley.

"Where are we?" I ask.

I am a mountain of questions. Poor Buffy, she must be as confused as I am. S he just keeps staring at me. Like a little child who has been offered candy but is afraid that it will be pulled away from her grasp. Slowly she lowers the sword. I try to tell her. To explain my questions.

"I don't remember."

I catch the scent of blood. It is not my own. My eyes are drawn to her arm. My teeth clench as I spy the wicked cut on her arm. Who ever did this is going to pay I say silently to myself. But instead of voicing this to her, I draw her close to me.

"Oh God Buffy, I feel like I haven't seen you in months." I hear myself say. I can hear her draw a breath and let herself fall into my embrace. She nuzzled at my neck with not only love and affection, but also with a need. That need surprised me. . Maybe this feeling of mine isn't my imagination. The voices of doubt bite at my mind, but I push them back for now. "Everything's so muddled, I…"

I break off to kiss her neck. It doesn't matter. We are together. I hug her closer to me. Then, I feel her body tense. Even more confused, I pull her back to look at her, and what I see in her eyes makes me feel faint. Oh God, I have never seen eyes so sad. I wanted to make that sadness go away. I wanted Buffy to shine and laugh like she had before. I wanted her to be happy. Why wasn't she?

"What's going on?"

"Don't worry about it" she whispers, and pulls my head down to her lips. I savor the kiss. Her love washes over me. The sweetness of the kiss is almost too much to bear. God, I love you so much I feel her hands running through my hair and I pull her in close. Slowly, she pulls away but lingers near my face.

"I love you," she says softly, her voice quivering with sadness.

"I love you," I say, and I mean it. I will give anything for her. I will always protect her.

"Close you eyes" she whispers against my lips.

Confused, I do as I am told. I'd do anything for her. I feel her lips brush mine and then she pulls back. Then a searing pain lanced through my body. My eyes flew open as I gasped in pain. Total pain. I looked down to see that sword which, a moment ago had been in Buffy's hand, was now in my stomach. My hand outstretched, I whisper the name of my love one last time.

"Buffy"

With that one breath, I forgive her. I don't care that she did it. I know her reasons must have been sound and just. But, even as I know I am dying, I want her to be happy. I want her to know I forgive her. I see the pain in her eyes. I didn't know her eyes could get sadder. She looked at me in horror, as if she could not believe what she had done. But, I knew that she still loved me, and I took that love into oblivion.

***

But it did not end there. In my seeming consciousness, I see a light ahead of me. Unquestioning, I walk into it, leaving hell and my demon behind. And now I wait. For her, for love.

The End