Summary:Willow thoughts after Becoming
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Joss and ME do, life's not fair.
Willow sat on her couch, waiting for her boyfriend, Oz, to come back with their hot chocolate. He was over at her house to watch movies with her since she couldn’t leave the house because of her injury. It had been 4 days since Buffy left, to God knows where. School had just ended and the much-dreaded finals were over. She glanced around the room, her wheelchair a painful reminder of what had happened to her and her friends. Giles had two broken fingers, Xander had a broken arm, Willow had suffered head injuries and her legs had been weakened from the bookcase that had fallen on top of her, and Buffy was gone. Buffy had become one of Willow’s first girlfriends and later her best friend, after Xander started going out with Cordelia. Ever since that one night where Buffy and Angel expressed their deepest love for each other, Buffy and the small group of Slayerettes had been forced to defend themselves from Angel, their one-time friend turned enemy. No one had taken it harder then Buffy. To know that the reason that they were all fending for their lives was all her fault made life almost impossible for her. Many a late night had Willow received calls from Buffy talking how she couldn’t take it any more or how this was all here fault or how she wished that things were back to normal, and more often then not, she was crying. But on the Hellmouth, there was no normal. Normal was a thing much fantasized about, but was something that could never be attained. When Buffy left, no one had taken it harder the Willow and everyone knew it. Willow had filled herself with the hope that Buffy would come back and each day, that hope was fading. Pretty soon, that small shread of hope would disappear, becoming a childish fantasy and Buffy wouldn’t come back. Their protector, their super hero, their friend and confident would disappear forever and be replaced by a memory of a great person who would have given her life just to see her friends safe and unharmed. All of the hurt that Willow was feeling only made her depressed and thinking about it made her even more. Out of all the bad things in her life, one good thing seemed to outshine the bad and that was her boyfriend, Oz. Oz had been there for her constantly the last few days, pushing her around in the wheelchair, telling her comforting thoughts, getting her food, and just being there for her, ready to catch her should she fall. He was the one that made it all bearable. If not for him, Willow would have committed suicide. He made her feel cherished and special in a way that no one else could. Even Xander hadn’t been able to make her feel this good. He thought she was beautiful; he thought that she was the most amazing thing in the world; he treated her like a goddess; he thought that the sun rose and set just for her; that the birds sang for her; he loved her. He hadn’t told her that, but she knew by the little things that he did that added to the big things that he did for her. And she loved him, but hadn’t told him yet either. She was still realizing it herself. She had loved Xander too long and now she knew that he couldn’t love her, not like that anyway. Besides, she didn’t love him like that either. She had found a guy who was sweet and smart and cute and generous and romantic… the list could go on forever. He had done so much for her and she had done little to pay him back. He had saved her life; he had waited for her to get over Xander and now it was time to pay him back for all that he had done. She needed to show him that all the things he had done for her really made her feel cherished and had helped her. She slowly stood up, testing the strength in her legs. When they held her up, she walked back and forth, making sure that she could walk. She could have jumped for joy when her legs held her weight and didn’t give way. She silently walked to the kitchen, and lucky for her, it wasn’t that far away since she didn’t know how far her legs could hold her. She saw her beloved boyfriend standing at the counter, waiting for the water to heat up for the cocoa. She snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He abruptly turned around and his face, which was one of surprise, turned to one of concern as he saw Willow standing there.
“Willow, you shouldn’t be walking around. You could get…” the feeling of her lips on his cut him off. “…Hurt,” he finished. He opened his mouth to say something, but she put her hand over his mouth, stopping him from speaking.
“I know, I know, you’re going to tell me stuff like I shouldn’t be walking around and we don’t know how long my legs can hold me, but I had to do this. I had to do this for you because I wanted to tell you how special you are to me. You do all this stuff for me and I don’t get to thank you for it ‘cause you tell me it’s no problem and then change the subject. But, thank you. Thank you for saving my life, twice now because without you here for me during this whole Buffy thing, I would have killed myself. You take so much of the pain away. Just your being here for me has really helped a lot towards the healing process. So, thank you for all of the stuff that you do for me and I love you for it. I also love you for being you, for being the guy that always makes me laugh when I’m sad; for being guy who always tells me wrong when I put down myself; for being the guy that makes me feel loved. Again, I love you.” She stared into his eyes, which were staring down into hers, full of love and sincerity.
“Hey, no problem. I only do these things for you because I love you. I’ve loved you since I first saw you in that Eskimo costume at the dance. Everything about you makes all the other girls seem so plain. Your beauty and intelligence outshines everyone else’s. I love you, too.” He looked at her, turned around, took the kettle of water off the stove, turning it off at the same time. He turned around, picked her up by the waist, put her on the island, and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back tenderly, thinking all the while that even though Buffy may be gone, she had someone to fall back on when she needed it and she would forever love him for it.
The End
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