A mortal enemy, or a lover gone cold.
When boiled down to the cold hard facts, it seems easy: neither.
The Slayer, or my dark princess.
When looked at like that, it seems simple: my Dru.
My friend, or the woman who chose another man over me.
In that light, it too is simple: the Slayer.
But, oh God, it's not easy; it's not simple; it's not even a mild annoyance! It's fucking agony. While it's true that Dru has been less than a lover recently, how can I sacrifice her for the life of the Slayer? For my supposed mortal enemy.
But on that note, it has been my mortal enemy's shoulder that has supported me when my lover was apart from me, mourning the loss of another man.
Dru is nearly at the mouth of the portal. It would be simple work to grab the Slayer, slit her throat, and throw her into the portal.
But I can't do that. I can't do anything but stare at Dru's face, her wild eyes that of a frightened animal.
*Save me.*
I look at the Slayer, staring at the portal, her gaze unflinching.
*Save him.*
She is looking at the portal with love in her eyes. Hurt, guilt, and fear are there, overshadowing it, but I can still see it. Love for Angel.
Dru is looking at me with fear in her eyes. Fear and desperation.
Nothing else.
She no longer loves me. I know that. I have known that for a while now.
But face to face, it makes a world of difference. There is no hiding from it. There is no denying. She is no longer mine.
"I'm sorry," I say, hoping she can forgive me. Hell, I don't even know if she can hear me.
I grab the Slayer by the waist and pull her away from the portal. I watch Dru get pulled closer and closer, sickened; and yet I can't take my eyes away.
I can hear the voices in my head calling out...no, screaming out...asking if I am doing the right thing. I don't know. I don't think I will ever know.
"Goodbye, my princess," I whisper, and she screams in terror as the portal envelops her, her eyes still locked onto mine. There is a great flash of light, and I am forced to turn away.
The wind dies. The library is quiet, except for the sound of weeping.
The Slayer's.
I look at her face. But the tears there are not fresh. She's not the one crying.
I am.
And it is then that I notice the figure huddled on the floor of the library, where the portal was.
Buffy breaks from my grasp and runs toward him. "Angel," she murmurs, repeating his name like a litany. Her hands run over his face, his shoulders. He is weakened, but he manages to put his arms around her and pull her into an embrace.
They are together. I am alone.
I tell myself that I was going to leave her anyway. But I realize that I had been lying. I never believed it. Until now.
Slowly, I back away from the reunited couple. The vampire and the Slayer. They don't notice as I turn and run. I am disappointed that there is no sun to burn me as I burst through the library doors.
I killed my Dru. I *killed* her. I chose the Slayer, I chose a love that wasn't even mine, over her.
My legs buckle under me and I crash into the dewy grass of Sunnydale High School's lawn. I am a pathetic, whimpering mess.
And for once, I don't care.
--the end
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