SPOILERS: Becoming (1&2)
CONTENT: Major angst.
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Xander's thoughts as Willow wakes up
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Xander, Willow, or Oz, that distinguished honor belongs to Joss.

"I love you."

I said it. Two years of feeling this way, and it all comes bubbling out in three words. I love her. I guess I always have; I just never really thought about it until she almost left me.

I felt her hand spasm slightly, and I knew she was waking up. I could see her eyes flutter; she has the most beautiful eyes. My Willow. She was getting ready to speak, taking in the air necessary to say the words. And I was already begging.

Please, Will. Just say my name, and I'm yours, I begged. I leave Cordy; you can get rid of Oz. Just say my name....

Her mouth opened as she moaned slightly and shifted uncomfortably.

Please....

"Oz?" she muttered. My Willow, my best friend, the only one I love, the one I need, and she says *his* name. I nearly lost it. The tears were almost there, but I couldn't cry. I needed to be strong so she'd be strong.

"Oz?" she asked louder.

"I'm here," came the reply from behind me. I turned and saw him in the door way. It was then I realized that she was really gone. My Willow was his Willow now. That was what Buffy had meant. I'd lost her, and I need her so much now.

I stood up and let Oz take my place at her side, like a changing of the guard. I was ready to leave, and I was almost to the door when I felt the urge. I wanted to tell her. I opened my mouth to say the three words I longed to say. But they wouldn't come out. I stood at the door, my mouth hanging, just watching Oz and Willow. Then I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'll go get a doctor."

Fin

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