Spoilers: Becoming, Part 2
Distribution: Sure. Just ask/tell me first.
Summary: Giles being ... questionned by Angelus.
Note: The ending is kind of weak, but I couldn't figure out what else to write for it (both the answer to the why part and the actual ending). I was just really impressed by Giles in this episode.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine.

Hold On

It hurts.

My entire body aches and screams it's agony to my pain clouded mind.

Oh, God, how it hurts!

I can feel him hovering over me, preparing his next move. He pauses, considering what will cause the most agony to my battered body.

I'm frightened.

I'm hurting.

And yet, I do not give into his demands. I know that he will kill me once he discovers the secret to the ritual, but that is not what keeps me silent. I would welcome death eagerly at this moment if it would only take away the pain.

So why then? Why won't I give into the relief from pain that my answer would bring?

Maybe it's a little bit of the Ripper in me. That brash and foolhardy youth would have sneered in the face of the demon before me. He had been no stranger to pain. Is it that remembered pain which allows me to stay silent in the face of such agony?

Maybe, my continued, stubborn silence is the result of my Watcher's training. It is to be expected that, as a guide to the sole barrier against the forces of darkness, Watchers may fall into such unpleasant circumstances. I am not the first Watcher who has been tortured for the information that they hold. I had been warned of this possibility. I had been trained never to give into the pain. The idea that a Watcher's agony is nothing compared to their duty has long been drilled into my mind. Is that what holds me silent?

Is it the thought of the world which hangs in the balance that keeps me from speaking? I do not know, for at the moment, the fate of the world seems a distant worry. The fate of the world is a difficult concept to grasp when one can hardly think through the pain clouding their mind.

Angelus moves in towards me. He is impatient, demanding his answer. He promises to make the pain stop if only I tell him what he needs to know.

At that moment, both Ripper and Watcher seem so very far away. There is only suffering and the thought of a cease to my anguish.

And yet, I do not give him what he needs.

I answer with quips and sarcasm, and as I do, I know that such a response will only draw more pain.

So why don't I give the answer that will set me free?

It is love.

I will not fail my young Slayer in this. I will not let the children who depend on me suffer an eternity of agony worse than what I am suffering from now. I will not allow the monster who murdered Jenny destroy anyone else that I care for.

I will not answer.

I am stronger than this.

I will not answer.

Oh God, it hurts!

The End