SPOILER WARNING: After Becoming part two.
RATING: PG, If you watch the show than you can read this.
SUMMARY: About two months after Buffy left Sunnydale, she contacts
Willow via the telephone.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy, Willow, or any other character
mentioned. They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
"Hello," Willow answered, softly after the telephone rang for the tenth time.
She had tried to ignore the insistant ringing, hoping that whoever was trying to contact her would get the idea that she wanted to be left alone. However it didn't seem to be working out the way she wanted it to. Ever since Buffy had left, she had felt. . . alone. Sure she had Xander, Giles, Oz, and sometimes even Cordelia, but they weren't Buffy. She couldn't talk to any of them the way she did with Buffy. Buffy always listened to anything she had to say, she was always there for her, even when she had problems of her own. And now without even a goodbye she was gone. She was angry about that. That Buffy had just left without saying goodbye to her, it made her feel unimportant in Buffy's eyes.
"Willow?" the voice on the other end of the line asked, hesitantly, unsure.
"Yes, who is this?" Willow questioned, not recognizing the voice.
"I-It's Buffy."
Time froze in that instant. It had been almost two months since the Slayer had left Sunnydale and now right out of the blue, when Willow least expected it she decides to call. She snapped back into reality when she realized Buffy was calling her name.
"Buffy? Oh, my God! Where have you been? Are you okay? Where are you? When are you coming home? What happened?" Willow rambled off every question that her mind had been asking.
"I'm fine, Willow," Buffy assured. "I can't tell you where I am or you'll come looking for me and I don't want to be found, and I don't know when. . . or even if I'll be coming home.
Willow sighed. "Tell me what happened," she pleaded.
There was a long silence before Buffy answered, probably gathering her thoughts or building up the courage to tell her best friend what drove her away.
"It was awful, Willow. I feel so empty inside. Like I don't have a reason to be anymore," she confessed.
"D-Did the spell work?"
Willow could hear Buffy let out a small whimper. Whatever happened must've have been terrible.
"It worked," she replied, hoarsely. "And then I had to send him to Hell to close the portal. I got to kiss him one last time, I told him I loved him, and then I. . ." Buffy paused before continuing.
"He had this look of betrayel on his face when I shoved the sword into him. He trusted me and I betrayed him. You don't know how badly I wanted to go with him. If he had to suffer I wanted to suffer with him."
Willow listened from the other end of the phone; tears streamed down her face. She could feel her friends pain, her anguish, her loss, her guilt. She cried for Buffy's beaten soul and for Angel's, who didn't deserve to be put in Hell along with the demon. If only she had done the ritual earlier.
"God, it hurts, Willow," Buffy sobbed. "I miss him. I got him back only to lose him again. I can't stop thinking about him, that damn look. God, I killed the man I love."
"Buffy, it wasn't your fault. I'm sure he doesn't blame you. Come home, we can find a way to get him out. Please."
"No, I can't. I couldn't face him. What would I say? 'Sorry for sending you to Hell, wanna go see a movie?' No, I. . . I just need to move on. I need to start over," Buffy explained.
"Buffy stop running away. We need you. Angel needs you," Willow replied.
"The last thing any of you need is me. I've put you in enough danger already. I already lost Angel, and I'll be damned if I lose any of you as well."
"We choose to do this, Buffy. Any danger we become involved with is by choice. We know the risks and we choose to take them, to help you. And if we die doing so, at least we'll die knowing we've saved the world on occasion," Willow defended.
Buffy couldn't take it anymore. She figured it would be easy to call Willow and let her know that she was alright, and now she was making her feel guilty about leaving. Willow is her best friend, one of the very few who understood her, who stood by her through thick and thin. The one who always took her side when the subject pertained Angel. It was Willow who restored his soul in time for her to say goodbye, and now Buffy was feeling uncomfortable talking to her.
"I have to go. My bus is here," Buffy said, looking for the quickest way out of the conversation. "Tell everyone that I'm sorry and that I love them."
"You never said goodbye. Did I mean nothing to you that I didn't even deserve a goodbye," Willow blurted out.
"God, no Willow. Your my best friend. I just needed to leave, to get away from everything and if I came to say goodbye, I know I wouldn't have been able to leave. Besides goodbye sounds so. . . final. I don't want this to be final."
"We miss you. Xander, Giles, me. We want you to come home. Let us help you through this."
"No, I need to think about things, be by myself for awhile. It has nothing to do with you, don't believe that any of you drove me away," Buffy stated. "I really need to be going now. I'll call you again . . . sometime."
Willow didn't answer, she swallowed against the lump forming in her throat. She nodded, but then realized Buffy couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'll see ya," she settled for.
She heard a soft goodbye in reply and then the wail of the dial tone. "Goodbye," she whispered into the dial tone. She sat for a moment with the receiver cradled to her ear before hanging it up. She layed down on her bed abd began to sob.
Buffy hung up the telephone and with a strangled sigh she ran her hand over it before leaving the phone booth and onto the bus as she made her way further from Sunnydale and her friends.
The End