The Slayerettes sat in the library, minus Xander, as they waited for Angel. Giles had told Xander quite flatly not to be there when they performed the binding ritual, saying that he wasn't needed. Truthfully, Giles feared what might happen if Xander and Angel were in the same room together for even the slightest length of time. Lord knew he was having problems trusting the vampire with the task of finding Buffy, but Giles at least acknowledged, if only mentally, that Angel hadn't had any control over what he'd done when he'd lost his soul. Xander, on the other hand, wasn't even bothering to try and realize that mentally, let alone emotionally.
They'd been waiting ten minutes, and Giles was slightly surprised by that. Angel was nothing if not punctual, it wasn't usual for him to be late, unless he didn't intend to show up at all. It was then that the library doors opened and Angel stepped inside, looking more uncomfortable than Giles could ever remember seeing him. "Hey," he said quietly, nodding slightly in the Slayerettes' direction as he walked towards the table, then stopped several feet away.
"Hi," Willow replied warmly, offering him a bright smile in her attempt to make him more comfortable.
"What does this ritual involve?" Angel asked, immediately getting to the point and looking towards Giles, yet not meeting his eyes.
"We have all the necessary ingredients," Giles replied, somehow feeling more comfortable knowing that Angel was just as uncomfortable as he was. "Basically you just have to recite the words."
Angel nodded and looked towards the book, which was on the table where the Slayerettes were seated. Sighing slightly, he realized he had little choice in actually moving from his relatively safe distance and towards the others; but he decided it could wait a few more minutes, at least. Then he changed his mind and took the additional steps towards the table and the book upon it, deciding that the sooner he performed the ritual to bind himself to Buffy, the sooner he'd be able to escape the tension that was filling the library air. "There's no set time to perform it, right?" he asked. Giles shook his head. "Then there's no reason not to do it now," Angel muttered.
Giles looked surprised. "Don't you want to know what effects it will cause?" he queried.
Angel winced as he remembered that was one of the questions he had planned on asking. "Oh, yeah," he murmured, turning towards the Watcher and fighting the urge to retreat back to the safety of the far corner, or, a much better idea, leave the library and forget the whole thing.
Giles cleared his throat. "Basically the bond will enable you to sense Buffy's location at any given time."
"Wait . . . how is she going to react to this?" Angel had to ask. "She doesn't even know about it. Won't it cause her problems?"
Giles nodded slightly in acknowledgement. "It shouldn't. She'll be able to sense your location only very mildly. It's still a risk, but tracking her down again will be almost impossible and besides, we can't force her to stay."
Angel smirked slightly. "You think I'll be able to?" he asked, sounding almost amused.
"Yes, I do," Giles answered frankly.
Angel looked rather puzzled by that, but shrugged and glanced at the open book on the table once more. "Anything else I should know?" he wondered. Giles shook his head. "Then let's do this," Angel muttered, relieved.
*****
Buffy was lying in bed, her eyes closed as she relaxed, grateful not to see the images of her betrayal of Angel for at least a few moments. Of course the explanation for that was pure exhaustion after not sleeping for forty-eight hours. Turning over, she hugged the pillow tightly against her chest, resting her head upon it and sighing, feeling somewhat peaceful for the first time in days.
Suddenly she sat up straight in bed as images flashed through her mind. The library, her friends' faces, it was as if she were truly there. She shook her head, desperate to clear the images, but they remained crystalline in her mind. Standing, she practically ran to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face as more images flashed through her mind. The hotel was blending in with the library . . . the cheap lights hanging above her in the bathroom becoming the sun windows of the library with the stars shining down . . .
Shuddering, she splashed more water onto her face and rubbed her eyes, frightened for her sanity as the bathroom disappeared entirely. All she could see was the library, was Giles saying something she couldn't quite make out. Emotions began washing over her, fear and confusion, uncertainty, something overwhelming just under the surface . . . she couldn't get away from it. Closing her eyes only made the mental images stronger, as she sank down against the cabinets of the bathroom, leaning her head back and trying to shake the pictures in her mind away from her.
*****
"I know where she is," Angel said, his voice barely above a whisper as he stared at Giles in total shock, obviously unprepared for the overwhelming connection the bond had formed. All worry had faded from his mind, to be replaced by uncertainty, as he tried to decide if he could actually trust the images flashing through his mind in vivid detail, more crystal clear than any television or satellite could ever hope to be.
"Already?" Giles asked, sounding startled. "It should take a . . . " he trailed off, realizing his own error and cursing himself for his stupidity.
"What?" Angel asked, shaking his head quickly in an attempt to clear away the images of the bathroom, the mirror from which Buffy's face peered back at what could only have been her. Using every mental defense he had, he pushed the images and flashes away, blocking them entirely until all that remained was a homing beacon of sorts, one that he knew would lead him to her if he followed it.
Giles stood and began to pace as the thick tension in the library began to fade with the urgency of the situation. He turned and looked back at Angel, nodding his head at the vampire as the others looked on in confusion matching Angel's own. "I should have realized," he said, annoyed with himself.
"What do you mean?" Angel queried again, needing some sort of explanation for the images that remained in his mind, just below the surface.
"Of course!" Giles whispered, still in shock over what he construed as his own idiocy. "How could I not have thought of this?"
"*What?*" Angel demanded, frustrated.
"Buffy and you," Giles began, "you already HAVE a connection . . . if I'm right, and I have to be, or you wouldn't know where she is already. This spell is very mild," he continued, slipping into Watcher mode, "unless combined with something else, something much more poignant."
Angel didn't even bother to ask 'what' again, he just stared at Giles expectantly and sat down. Willow, however, did speak up, "What do you mean?" she asked.
Giles glanced towards her. "Love," he answered, as though it should be obvious to the young Hacker. "Love forms a connection, a bond that can never be broken . . . true love, at least. There's more than one kind of love, of course, there's the love of a sister, or a mother, or father, or just of a friend. But there's also true, undeniable love. It's not common. Most married couples share a strong friendship bond, also very powerful, but not the same sort of connection as true soul-mates share."
"Okay, you lost me," Willow piped up again.
Giles glanced back towards her, then towards Angel and resumed his pacing, falling silent for a moment.
*****
The images finally disappeared, and Buffy sighed in complete relief as she stood shakily, trembling with the mental images that had just faded from her mind. Somehow, she suddenly felt the strangest pull, as though she had to leave that moment and go somewhere. She didn't know quite where, but the burning desire to follow that strange beacon seemed almost impossible to resist.
Buffy shook her head again, walking out of the bathroom and biting her lip in utter confusion. The images had left almost as soon as they'd come, yet somehow she could still feel them under the surface, as much a part of her as her own thoughts. Too scared to tap into them, not wanting to examine what had just happened for fear it truly was a sign of her own insanity, she returned to bed and for once had no fear of the nightmares she knew would come. The nightmares would be preferable to the images in her head. A strange thought came into her mind, and she smiled slightly as she wondered if this was how Drusilla felt.
Laughing slightly, Buffy closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the pillow, shrugging off the pull and the images to her over-active imagination.
*****
They'd been waiting on Giles for five minutes, just silently watching him pace, before he finally opened his mouth to speak. "You have to leave immediately," he said to Angel.
"Why?" Angel asked, not questioning the Watcher, but honestly wondering.
"I didn't THINK!" Giles replied, still sounding furious with himself. "The bond this spell should have formed, as I've said, is VERY mild, almost undetectable unless you know it's there. But combined with the connection of true love . . . it becomes very powerful. Visions, images, the sharing of emotions, of thoughts themselves . . . all are possible. And as you've said," he looked towards Angel and nodded in acknowledgement, "she won't know what's going on. I . . . God, how could I not have KNOWN? You are the one she is closest to because of the connection of true love! This is . . . "
"Giles," Angel interrupted impatiently, "Buffy," he reminded him.
"Right," Giles nodded, still distracted. "Buffy," he repeated. "She won't have any explanation for the visions you may inadvertently send her way . . . she won't know how to deal with them or shut them off. May I ask, how strong is your certainty of her location?"
Angel sighed. "Very strong," he replied, still able to feel her distinctly.
"Damn it!" Giles cursed, banging his hand against the table. "Can you leave tonight?" he asked Angel.
"I still need to rent a car," Angel answered, sounding disgusted with himself for not thinking ahead.
"Tomorrow?" Giles wondered.
Angel nodded and stood. "I'll leave at sundown," he promised. "And I'll bring her back. No matter what it takes."
Giles dipped his head back in acknowledgment. "I know," he answered sincerely. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, Angel meeting his gaze for the first time, then the vampire turned and left the library.
Willow watched him go, then sighed and stood as well. "I'm going to call Xander," she said, sounding unhappy about having to do so, "tell him what's going on."
Giles waved her off and she and Oz left as well. Once they were gone Giles stared after them quietly, mulling over the bond between Buffy and Angel.
*****
Joyce sat up straight in bed when the telephone rang and she once again dashed downstairs, feeling the slightest bit of deja vu as she picked up the receiver. "Hello?" she asked, hoping desperately that her daughter was on the other end.
"Hi, Mom," Buffy replied.
"Buffy," Joyce gasped, surprised that her hope had been realized.
"I'm not coming home or anything," Buffy answered before her mother could bring up the issue. "I just wanted to check in, let you know that I'm okay."
"Thank you," Joyce said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I appreciate it."
"I told you I would," Buffy said, sounding somewhat defensive.
"I . . . I didn't expect you would quite so soon," Joyce said back to her daughter. "I figured you might call once or twice a month."
Buffy smiled, unable to help but be relieved to hear her mother's voice, a voice of sanity, as far as she was concerned. "Well, I don't want to risk you calling the cops on me or something," she answered.
Joyce closed her eyes, somewhat startled by how casual this conversation was, considering how harsh her daughter had been during their last meeting. "Is something wrong?" she queried, concerned.
Buffy sighed, shaking her head as she realized she should have known her mother would see right through her normal act. "No," she lied simply. "Just thought I should check in," she said again. "I really need to go," she added.
"Buffy?" Joyce asked, before her daughter could hang up.
"What?"
"I love you," Joyce replied softly. "And I hope you come home soon."
Buffy closed her own eyes and leaned her head back against the bed she was sitting on. "Mom . . . I really can't."
"I know," Joyce said with a small smile. "If the circumstances were even slightly different believe me, I would have called the police."
"I kinda figured," Buffy replied with a quiet laugh. "I love you, too. I'll talk to you in a couple days." Before her mother could say anything else Buffy hung up the phone.
Joyce stared quietly at the receiver and sighed, as she desperately hoped her daughter wasn't in as much trouble as she thought she might be. Hanging up the phone, Joyce reached one hand out to touch the cool plastic, the only connection she had to her daughter any longer, and said a silent prayer to God that Buffy would come home soon.
*****
Angel sighed as he stared at the rent-a-car parked outside his street. It had taken all day to finally manage to rent one, considering that all of the places in Sunnydale closed at five or six, none staying open even an hour past sunset. He'd eventually resorted to throwing money around to get what he needed done, something he didn't like doing, as it caused attention. And as far as he was concerned even the smallest amount of attention was bad.
The keys were sitting in the car. The manager of the place Angel had retrieved the car from had been very puzzled by the instructions Angel had given, that the car be driven to his apartment, parked, the keys left inside and the driver gone by sun-down. Of course that same manager, thrilled by the amount of money he'd been promised, had been more than happy to concur with his request despite its peculiarity.
As he walked towards the door, he heard someone call his name, causing him to turn around and immediately groan when he saw who it was. "What do you want?" he asked, not at all in the mood to deal with Xander Harris.
"I'm going," Xander replied simply.
Angel couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. "No, you're not," he answered flatly.
"Yes, I am," Xander told him. "You think I'm trusting YOU to bring her back? Connection, bond, whatever it is, you're still you. How do I know you won't kill her or something?"
"You don't," Angel acknowledged. "Live with the suspense." He placed his hand on the door, but for some reason he couldn't quite name didn't open it, instead looking back up at the teenager.
"Look, either I go with you, or I'll . . . " Xander trailed off.
"You'll what?" Angel challenged with a small smile, knowing the kid had absolutely no answer.
"I'll think of something eventually!" Xander retorted.
"Shouldn't you be scared that I'll bite you if you come with me?" Angel asked sarcastically, unable to keep the condescending tone out of his voice. Somehow whenever he dealt with Xander he couldn't keep himself from going on the offensive. He couldn't help but wonder, however vaguely, why when the demon was in control it hadn't done him a favor and killed Xander.
"For Buffy I'll deal with the threat," Xander replied.
Angel wouldn't have said yes under any circumstances, except that he was so shocked at himself for wishing the teenager dead he couldn't help it. "Fine," he said flatly, gesturing towards the passenger door as he wondered how in the world he was going to manage to deal with Xander for two days without a referee. As he got in the car as well, he looked towards the teenager. "I hope for your sake you brought a cross," he muttered as he turned the key.
Not until after Angel had pulled out of the parking lot did Xander reach into his coat to remove the object he'd mentioned. "Yup, right here."
The car swerved as Angel lost control when he jerked away, and Xander quickly replaced the cross as Angel pulled over. "Get out," he said.
"I just got in!" Xander protested.
"You want to go with me?" Angel said quietly. "There are a few things you don't do."
"Like?" Xander asked.
"Don't talk, don't move, don't touch anything, don't look at anything, and if you really want to be helpful try not to breathe," Angel answered as he pulled back onto the road.
"That should -- "
"Don't talk," Angel reminded him, and Xander fell silent as the two drove off into the night in search of the Slayer.
CONTINUES