Why are so many men reluctant to take a woman in hand, and what can you do to persuade your man to do so? Noone has some ideas that might help.

Secretary was recommended to me as “a film that brings spanking into the mainstream,” “very sexy,” and “one to show a vanilla partner.” But one Taken In Hand reader I talked to vehemently disagreed with this praise. I decided to see it for myself. If you have not seen it and have not yet read any reviews of it, it might be worth seeing it before clicking the read article link.

How can you possibly expect to change anyone's behavior or attitude if you give them what they want when they do the things you least want them to do? Max Maximovich has a brilliant answer. Hit the read article link now!

In this warm exploration of the idea of spanking for connection, Max Maximovich argues that to be happy in life, we must learn what our true nature is and follow it in the best and most honest way we know how.

Tracy describes the dominance and submission which characterises her long-term marriage. This all happened early on, before they had read about these kinds of relationships, so what strikes me about Tracy's description is how natural it all sounds. A lovely piece.

Sam and Missy have been happily married for 23 years, but Sam had always had the feeling that something was missing, both within himself and in the marriage. Then he discovered Taken In Hand...

Dóra knows that if she steps out of line, her husband won't hesitate to discipline her severely. Hit the read article link to learn more about the traditional marriage Dóra loves so much.

The casual observer might think that Taken In Hand readers are saying that they want to be taken or taken in hand against their will, but what is really going on here? An investigation of the psychology of consensual non-consent.

When a man takes or takes a woman in hand and she seems to be resisting and complaining, is there consent? It depends.

When someone in a conventional relationship gets into a state, a fight is often the result. Frank Nelson relates an experience that illustrates the healing power of taking a woman in hand.

After the demise of Stephen's marriage, he was determined that his next relationship would be different. He knew that he needed to be the head of the household. Having found a woman who wanted that, he then set about turning the fantasy into reality. His major concern at first was how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman you love. But his new wife wanted him to be firm, and not just as a game.

Susie Joy has put her finger on how and why being taken in hand helps.

It was 1981 and Leah was 17, going on 18. She had just arrived at college when she met Rob, the man who would later become her husband. He certainly made an impact! To read Leah's wonderful (and true!) story, hit the read article link.

Scarlet has a red-hot message for her husband. I hope he's sitting down when he reads it: when Scarlet says she wants to be possessed, she really means it!

When Caroline last wrote, she feared she had awoken a sleeping dragon. Now she relates how the flames felt. Hot stuff!

The other day, I heard the Queen song, I want it all, and have not been able to get it out of my head since. Sometimes I am so aware of how much there is to feel and do and experience before it's game over, that it is difficult to be patient. I want it all, and I want it now! If this sounds like you, you won't want to miss this article!

If you can't imagine why anyone would want to be spanked, and can't imagine what possible positive feelings it could occasion, hit the read article link. This powerful, poignant piece by Annie is very illuminating.

If a woman finds the idea of being taken in hand erotic, how can taking her in hand also ’work’ to modify her behaviour? Spanking would be a reward, not a punishment! Wouldn't it be more efficient to withhold spanking? Nooooooooooo! Hit the read article link to find out why not!

Two weeks ago, Caroline asked her husband to read Taken In Hand. He refused to discuss it and she thought he was absolutely opposed to the idea – until last night.

If you feel no sexual arousal at all during serious disciplinary spankings, how can it possibly be erotic? And if it is, doesn't that mean that it is all just a kinky game, and not real? Hit the read article link for my answers to these thorny questions.

Okay, I confess! I misled you. This is not about the ‘M’ word as in ‘marriage’, it is about the ‘M’ word as in ‘maintenance spanking’. If you feel, or your woman feels, frustatingly unsatisfied by ‘maintenance spanking’, you won't want to miss this!

If your man often keeps you waiting (and not in a good way!),

Str8 Talkin' Mutha has some naughty table-turning advice for you. Well they do say fortune favours the brave...

Howard Frank explains his gentle but firm hands-on approach with his wife, and talks about what he has discovered on this journey of increased connection and intimacy.

Advice for women who think that their men might be reluctant to take control and discipline them more seriously.

A woman's letter to her hypothetical husband.

Susie had dreamt alI her life about having a man strong enough to be in charge and to take her in hand. So why, she asks, was her first year of living with her dream man so dreadfully difficult? For the answer, and to find out how everything got resolved, hit the read article link.

Right from the beginning of their relationship, Stephen's wife wanted him to wear the trousers. She was not interested in a relationship based on so-called equality. She expects to be obedient. To her, obedience is not only a matter of respect for me and our relationship, it adds an erotic charge to daily life. Yes, obedience is sexy. It is romantic. It creates passion!

This fascinating and clearly very honest article by Brandy is about the journey she and her husband have travelled to blanket consent, and highlights the increased emotional connection this affords.

In this exuberant and very interesting article, Issie explains that the way she and her husband choose to relate is not about pointless physical punishments but about traditional roles which obviate the ubiquitous battles for leadership and consequent disharmony.

Blush, on the subject of what happens when her wonderful husband Gary has disappointed her or made an error in judgement.

Annie on obedience and autonomy in her wonderful relationship.

Daisy argues that asking for what you want doesn't necessarily mean you are being pushy, and if you don't ask, you might not get what you want. Moreover, the mere fact that the man has not thought of it first does not mean he won't be interested once he knows you are.

What is wrong with men? Have they completely lost the dominant, decisive, proactive, self-confident traits that we all consider masculine? The basic message of this superb article by Egghead is that they have not.

Aiden on the natural unity of masculine dominance and feminine submission.

Although rarely explicit, a woman will frequently give implicit permission to a man to do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship together. She then expects him to act on her permission... If the man fails to act in a timely fashion, whatever love the woman has for him will, in time, crumble into a loathing for which there is no human cure.

Blush, on how, when she is in overdrive, Gary asserts himself in the most gentle yet dominant of ways to slow her down and soothe her.

When everything goes wrong and your man is about to withdraw and give you the silent treatment, what can you do to reconnect with him? Here's one idea.

Fascinating thoughts from Frank Nelson on introducing the intimate control dynamic in a new relationship, and on the challenges men face during this process.

Blush had to wait and wait before Gary would take her in hand physically. Gary was in control.

Ms. Damen feels so dirty after reading Karen's piece that she feels the need to take a shower. “I honestly thought drivel like this only popped up in Penthouse letters,” she fumes. Hmmm, Penthouse letters, eh? Presumably the implication is that Karen's piece is intended to be erotic. Imagine my surprise, then, when I read Ms. Damen's next stinging blow (oops, no allusion to spanking intended)...