Spanking

A woman must know that her man cares

Being a husband is not about being a warden, it is about caring.

Do the right thing - be the captain of your ship

Some excellent advice for the man whose wife or girlfriend wants to be taken in hand.

Is it true that a man shouldn't need to get physical?

It is often said that a man should not need to get physical to remain in charge of his woman. Tevemer points out the flaws in this idea.

Taking it step-by-step making piecemeal changes

To read Jennifer's interesting account of how she has gradually explored Taken In Hand ideas with her husband, hit the read article link now!

Are you paying attention? Are you really connecting?

A Taken In Hand relationship is about the two indiviuals engaging and connecting. To find out how Jett really pays attention and takes into account his mate's wishes, hit the read article link now!

Comment je me sens avant, pendant et après une fessée

Une profonde excitation jaillit dans le bas de mon abdomen quand tu me dis avec fermeté que tu vas me donner la fessée. Cette sensation est d'une nature en partie sexuelle et en partie émotionnelle.

Keep the warm embers glowing

One for the spankos! Words can hurt far more than any spanking.

What is the secret recipe?

What is it about being thoroughly taken in hand and spanked that produces profound effects like these?

Is this really consensual?

I hope that this will extinguish any doubts anyone might have that Taken In Hand is about consensual relationships only.

What would you do if your wife damaged the car?

Taken In Hand can help people reconnect in situations that for many other couples would end in bad feeling and fights.

Attention to detail

Race on how careful attention to detail has helped him in his relationship with his wife.

Could micromanagement work for you, too?

Many Taken In Hand readers dislike being micromanaged, but some, including this writer, have discovered that it can be erotic if it is not just generic but arises specifically out of the two individuals you are and the unique relationship you have together.

Practical hints for men - you are allowed to enjoy it!

For Carlf's timely reminder that this whole thing is supposed to be a source of pleasure, not a sacrifice, hit the read article now!

Being able to be open and honest about my feelings

One of the greatest gifts of being in a Taken In Hand relationship has been, for Charlotte, that she now feels more able to be open and honest about how she is feeling.

Prevention is better than cure

If a woman disobeys her man, Horst argues, the man should assume that he is at least partly at fault.

My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive

It is not the act of spanking in itself that causes such wonderful changes when couples move into a Taken In Hand relationship, it is the underlying psychological effects on both partners, as Louise's very nice example shows.

Domestic discipline (DD)

What is the difference between Taken In Hand and DD (domestic discipline)? It is a mainly just a difference of focus.

Trust is what makes my relationship so special

When you are in a deep, trust-filled long-term relationship, as this reader is, worries about safety and consent (or lack thereof) seem very remote. It all depends on the kind of relationship you have.

Can physical chastisement cure bad habits?

For Louise's answer, hit the read article link now!

Is it a mistake to spank when angry?

People often say that on no account should you take someone in hand physically if you are angry. This sounds like a sensible rule of thumb, but I have never thought much of it. Now that she has been on the sharp end of an angry spanking, how does Tevemer feel?

Trials and errors – appeasement for anger

KrosRogue's account of the demise of a recent relationship and what lesson he has drawn from this experience.

Which comes first? Dominance or submission?

Which do you think should come first? The control by the man – as in bringing the woman to submission – or the woman's submission? As with everything else, it probably depends on the individuals concerned.

Force of will

Many readers find the idea of control through sheer physical force exciting, but in this piece, Louise points out that it is the psychological control that her husband has over her (with his authoritative manner) that really excites her. (Note to Taken In Hand writers and potential writers: I'd like to put up more articles exploring the psychology of control (whether expressed physically forcefully or otherwise) should anyone feel like submitting an article or three.)

Our new beginning

A reader's account of the new hope he has for his marriage, now that his wife seems to have decided that she wants him to take control.

Alpha male dominance

In a Taken In Hand relationship, the purpose of any physical force there may be is not correction but connection through dominant control. DeeMarie argues that if a man wants to be spanked, he has submissive tendencies that will be repulsive to some women reading Taken In Hand.

Communication

This short and sweet piece is about the flourishing of communication in a Taken In Hand relationship.

Why would a women want to be spanked?

In the absence of any noticeable psychological disorder or mind-altering substances, why would an intelligent woman want to be spanked? Even more mind-boggling, why would a grown woman who doesn't fantasise about being a little girl want to be spanked naked over her man's knee?

Empowering dominance

Don't miss this superb piece by Max Maximovich, whose laid-back dominance helps the woman he loves become her truest self. Beautiful. Please write more, Max!

Don't forget your whip

This powerful article will thrill women who crave a man's control. Such women know that it is, as the writer says, sometimes necessary to “get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.”

Decades of discipline, decades of happy marriage

Why, after many decades of marriage, would a man still find it necessary to discipline his wife? And why would she let him?

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

Why Taken In Hand isn't actually unfair

ConfusedofHomeCounties (such a misnomer!) has been thinking about accountability and the seeming unfairness of a Taken In Hand relationship in which only one person is disciplined, and here presents an insightful account of how and why it works for her.

Moving into a Taken In Hand relationship

How did you tell your husband that you wanted to be taken in hand? And what happened when you did? Hit the read article for this heart-warming story of one person's journey from suppressing her desires, to getting what she wants.

The dynamics of our Taken In Hand relationship

Why do you use discipline in your relationship? For Melanie and Paul, it is erotic, it makes Melanie want to submit, and it makes Paul feel protective; thus, they want to make each other happy. Yeay!

From vague awareness to a beautiful relationship

Don't miss this lovely account by Lady K of her development from vague stirrings when she read Heinlein's I Will Fear No Evil to the beautiful Taken In Hand relationship she and her husband have now.

The anchor of love

It's OK to want (to be) an anchor, says LAR.

A breakdown on the road to intimacy

The path to intimacy isn't always smooth, but if you can talk and think about the bumps and obstacles and together find your way through or around them, you will get there in the end. Hit the read article link for Sam and Missy's heartwarming account of how they handled such a breakdown on their road to intimacy.

Why is real punishment spanking erotic?

Many Taken In Hand folk do not use physical discipline or punishment in their relationship. But for those who do, this series of articles explains some otherwise puzzling facts and paradoxes.

Offering an olive branch

No one is perfect, so what do you do when you have behaved badly? Following my article, Reaching out by offering yourself, Issie told this story of an offering of her own.

It's not about blame, so forget ‘fairness’!

Frank Nelson's insights about the trouble people get into when they think in terms of ‘fairness’.