Separating sex and dominance from the rest of life seems to me a decidedly bad idea. Because male authority and control is real for Taken In Hand couples, not a game, it has the power to infuse the whole of life with an erotic charge, making life altogether more exciting and joyful. Is it any wonder Taken In Hand couples are so happy together?!

If you think that women who want to be a little afraid of their men must be in need of psychotherapy or chemical help, this article probably won't dispel your illusions. But if you are curious, hit the read article link now!

Many readers find the idea of control through sheer physical force exciting, but in this piece, Louise points out that it is the psychological control that her husband has over her (with his authoritative manner) that really excites her. (Note to Taken In Hand writers and potential writers: I'd like to put up more articles exploring the psychology of control (whether expressed physically forcefully or otherwise) should anyone feel like submitting an article or three.)

Many women have little or no interest in being spanked but would enjoy being overpowered physically by a man. Who hasn't enjoyed rough-and-tumble ‘wrestling’, pillow-fighting, or tickling with a man who is much stronger?! So for those who are interested, here are some imaginitive physically forceful ways of exerting control.

In this fascinating piece, DeeMarie considers different definitions of the word “violence”, some appropriate, others entirely inappropriate in the context of Taken In Hand.

More thoughts about dominant men and the mistake some insecure men make in thinking that being dominant means being right, superior, better than women.

In a Taken In Hand relationship, the purpose of any physical force there may be is not correction but connection through dominant control. DeeMarie argues that if a man wants to be spanked, he has submissive tendencies that will be repulsive to some women reading Taken In Hand.

This author understands the desire many women feel to be brought to submission rather than handing it to a man on a plate. He does not make clear (and perhaps even disagrees) that strength/weakness is independent of dominance/submission; nevertheless, this is a piece that will speak to many readers.

Adam's vision of a Taken In Hand relationship – a relationship of equals, with both modern and traditional elements.

Some people spend so much time trying to analyse their relationships by the book and have a relationship by the book that they fail to meet one another's individual needs.

In the absence of any noticeable psychological disorder or mind-altering substances, why would an intelligent woman want to be spanked? Even more mind-boggling, why would a grown woman who doesn't fantasise about being a little girl want to be spanked naked over her man's knee?

This brilliant piece should have been on the front page long ago. Melanie's description of the wrestling with forbidden desires that she went through on her way to bliss will strike a chord with many, many readers. Please write more articles, Melanie!

This powerful article will thrill women who crave a man's control. Such women know that it is, as the writer says, sometimes necessary to “get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.”

Why, after many decades of marriage, would a man still find it necessary to discipline his wife? And why would she let him?

This lyrical article expresses deep insights into what it means to be taken in hand, and how being taken in hand can help a woman become who she truly is. Breathtaking.

Women who are high dominance tend to attract lots of submissive men. What is a woman to do if she is strong and possibly even dominant in some sense, but she is drawn to men who are even more dominant than she is, and not to submissive men? Try to suppress her strength? Try to become more submissive? Try to act submissive even when she doesn't feel it? What do you think?

When people ask whether you want to be “dominated” what is your answer? I never quite know whether the answer is yes or no. It depends! What does the questioner have in mind? People often think that because sexual dominance and service-orientated submission leave them cold, there is nothing sexual about their desire for their man to take charge. This piece explains what is really going on in such cases.

Authority is the right or power to enforce rules or give orders. Many Taken In Hand readers use consensual authority to enhance their relationship.

Being a phlegmatic sort of person, it is not often that the mere presence of another person has the power to do any more than make me recoil from the olfactory shock caused by their halitosis or their overpowering aftershave. But very occasionally (about once a decade) I have found myself intensely affected by the mere presence of a man – so intensely affected that it has taken every ounce of self-control to appear unmoved. Why?

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

A reader has written to ask what we have to say on the issue of so-called ‘equality’ and the criticism that Taken In Hand relationships can't possibly be healthy because they are not equal. Hit the read article link for an answer.

Why do you use discipline in your relationship? For Melanie and Paul, it is erotic, it makes Melanie want to submit, and it makes Paul feel protective; thus, they want to make each other happy. Yeay!

It's OK to want (to be) an anchor, says LAR.

Many Taken In Hand folk do not use physical discipline or punishment in their relationship. But for those who do, this series of articles explains some otherwise puzzling facts and paradoxes.

Dandelion powerfully conveys the erotic intensity of the dance of dominance she and her husband are engaged in – led, of course, by her husband. With her feminine warrior family culture, Dandelion sees this as a battle. This is no destructive battle, though, for Dandelion and her husband are both on the same side.

Do we choose to be taken in hand because we want to be, such as for the connection or because the whole idea is very erotic? Or is it that we women need to be controlled because we can't control ourselves? As a phlegmatic, competent, rational sort of person, I have always argued that this is something even the most logical, sane woman can choose. If you have to be the sort of person who can't function sensibly in the world to be taken in hand, I don't qualify! But that doesn't mean that I don't want to be taken in hand. I do! From what Nina says in this no-nonsense comment, she feels the same way.

Dóra knows that if she steps out of line, her husband won't hesitate to discipline her severely. Hit the read article link to learn more about the traditional marriage Dóra loves so much.

Taken In Hand is not about turning a woman into a servant or slave.

The casual observer might think that Taken In Hand readers are saying that they want to be taken or taken in hand against their will, but what is really going on here? An investigation of the psychology of consensual non-consent.

When a man takes or takes a woman in hand and she seems to be resisting and complaining, is there consent? It depends.

When someone in a conventional relationship gets into a state, a fight is often the result. Frank Nelson relates an experience that illustrates the healing power of taking a woman in hand.

After the demise of Stephen's marriage, he was determined that his next relationship would be different. He knew that he needed to be the head of the household. Having found a woman who wanted that, he then set about turning the fantasy into reality. His major concern at first was how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman you love. But his new wife wanted him to be firm, and not just as a game.

Do you command respect and obedience without even trying? Do you have natural authority, or would you have trouble controlling even a worm? If you don't have a commanding presence but wish you did, hit the read article link.

It was 1981 and Leah was 17, going on 18. She had just arrived at college when she met Rob, the man who would later become her husband. He certainly made an impact! To read Leah's wonderful (and true!) story, hit the read article link.

Amber gets that incredible closeness and calm when her husband takes her in hand in even the most subtle ways. “The hand on my neck, the quiet but authoritative way he spoke to me, and the look in his eyes was enough to show me that he was truly in control and worthy of my trust,” she says.

Scarlet has a red-hot message for her husband. I hope he's sitting down when he reads it: when Scarlet says she wants to be possessed, she really means it!

No one wants a controlling partner, but many want a dominant one. What is the difference?

In this charming article, which I know will speak to lots of women, and help men understand how many women feel, Amber writes about her childhood irritation with helpless movie heroines, and about her later discovery that being submissive does not have to mean giving up your strong, independent, effective self.

Why does this kind of relationship work? Tevemer says that the more her husband asserts himself, the more she respects and desires him. Why does it work for you?

If you are in a new relationship, or have yet to find a man, and you want to be with a man who is lovingly dominant, you might like to consider this advice.