Dynamic, evolving relationships, not static, stereotypical ones

I don't want to be submissive!

Like many women on this site who want to be actively controlled by their man, Sully finds the idea of ‘just submitting’ (to what, exactly, if the man is not exerting control?!) decidedly unappealing.

She may not know it yet, but I'm taking her in hand

It sounds as though GreySeal's wife is very happy that he has started taking her in hand – even if she has never heard of Taken In Hand.

Why we rejected rules and punishment in our Taken In Hand relationship

Some couples' marriages are most definitely Taken In Hand but involve nothing even remotely resembline rules and punishment.

The man who doesn't give a stuff about labels

Marie thought she wanted an alpha male, until she met a man confident enough to be gentle and protective.

Is Taken In Hand control real?

It is sometimes suggested that the control in Taken In Hand relationships is not real, but it certainly feels real to those involved.

Loving, supportive and kind control

A man can feel the need to be in control without feeling any inclination for that control to be oppressive or in any way unpleasant for the woman he loves.

A man with a backbone can be very soothing

A Taken In Hand woman who is outraged about a decision her husband has made, may well be aghast if she succeeds in getting her man to change his decision. It can be very soothing to be with a man who holds firm and does not allow himself to be pushed about.

He isn't interested in or capable of taking you in hand?

That's what you think. But it might be that you are inadvertently undermining him because you cannot see the man he is. You may think this is definitely not the case, but it is worth taking steps to make sure that it is not you who are the barrier to change.

Saying things for effect

When a man says he doesn't care what the woman he loves wants, is he serious, or is he saying it for effect? This piece explains why you are less likely to hear so many statements said for effect in a Taken In Hand marriage than in some other kinds of relationships. (And no, this is not to say that Taken In Hand is better, merely to point out a difference!)

Do you 'meet as equals' or 'establish roles from the outset'?

How in the world can you create a male-controlled relationship if you meet and get to know each other as equals?

An overview of Taken In Hand

In a nutshell...

Love and fear

In this fabulous article, DeeMarie argues that while love and fear might be incompatible emotions for some people, for others those two things are perfectly compatible.

Happy living in fear of a man?!

If you think that women who want to be a little afraid of their men must be in need of psychotherapy or chemical help, this article probably won't dispel your illusions. But if you are curious, hit the read article link now!

Who says you have to be submissive?

Women who are high dominance tend to attract lots of submissive men. What is a woman to do if she is strong and possibly even dominant in some sense, but she is drawn to men who are even more dominant than she is, and not to submissive men? Try to suppress her strength? Try to become more submissive? Try to act submissive even when she doesn't feel it? What do you think?