Leaders who serve those they lead

As the head of our household I put my wife first

Gary points out that a good leader serves.

Responding to his loving control

A year ago Pondering would have scoffed had anyone told her she’d be feeling as she does now.

Truth and life

Blush on the subject of what to do if you have not managed to obey your husband to the letter despite your best efforts to do so.

Loving, supportive and kind control

A man can feel the need to be in control without feeling any inclination for that control to be oppressive or in any way unpleasant for the woman he loves.

Handle with care... and honor and fidelity

Sam has a message for men on the importance of fidelity, honour, and handling a woman with care.

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

Men serve and lead, women receive and obey

Under His Wing explains that to obey is not the same thing as serving.

What if your wife feels scared and vulnerable?

Advice for any man whose wife feels scared and vulnerable during the introduction of a Taken In Hand relationship.

My friend, my lover, my rock

This is how one reader describes her husband. How do you describe yours?

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

Do you have the patience to make your marriage work?

Are you like a pair of wooden gears, meshing together better and better as the teeth age?

An overview of Taken In Hand

In a nutshell...

We should consider ourselves so lucky

This beautiful piece by Lucy describes her quintessentially Taken In Hand relationship and the wonderful man who loves her. Essential reading!

Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!

These anecdotes from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's wonderful book, Kosher Sex, might help.

Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?

A glimpse at an article that has stayed with me for three years.

My experience of taking my wife in hand

Forty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this!

On being the servant-leader in my relationship

Stephen keeps in mind the “servant” bit of “servant-leader”. No wonder his wife spoils him!

A good leader accepts that he is only human

In a position of power, a man must be mindful of his fallibility.

Respect and responsibility

If you are a woman, have you ever felt uncomfortable dating a man who expects you to serve him? Have you sometimes been a bit too giving? What do you think about this quote from Pat Allen's book Getting to “I Do”?: “A masculine-energy man does not marry a woman who gives to him, unless he is a “little boy” who wants to be mothered. A masculine man marries a feminine woman who is available to receive from him, who respects him for giving, and who knows how to give back to reward him but always a little less than she gets. [...] Masculine men like problems and challenges. They like the chase. “Little boys” like Mama to do it for them; they don't want you to ask them for anything at all.” (p. 59-60, Chapter 4, Is giving masculine or feminine?)

Could you be a slave, owned, property?

Does property always do what it's told? Does being a slave mean abdicating moral responsibility in the name of obedience? Why might a woman consider herself a slave, and why do Taken In Hand generally prefer not to a slave?

Taken in hand by tenderness

Ameribritwife asked her husband to help her wake up earlier. Hit the read article link to find out what happened.

A gentle giant who loves and serves the woman he leads

To read Kat's touching tribute to her husband, hit the read article link now.

How I turned the fantasy into reality

After the demise of Stephen's marriage, he was determined that his next relationship would be different. He knew that he needed to be the head of the household. Having found a woman who wanted that, he then set about turning the fantasy into reality. His major concern at first was how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman you love. But his new wife wanted him to be firm, and not just as a game.