Articles about marriage

Are you getting through to her?

A husband in a Taken In Hand relationship needs to get through to his wife. If he is not getting through to her, his wife needs to find a way to let him know.

Correcting possible misconceptions about Taken In Hand

This piece by Sully is essential reading for anyone who is shocked by the idea of a Taken In Hand relationship.

Saying "no" as code for "I care"

In many relationships, this would be experienced negatively, but Dandelion is in a Taken In Hand relationship, and it made her positively swoon!

Why is commitment important?

Stephen explains what men are missing sexually when they fail to take into account the importance of commitment.

Why the "Wow!"?

When couples discover Taken In Hand and their relationship starts to evolve in this direction, they typically describe it as mind-blowingly thrilling. They tend to be astonished by how right it feels, even in their first faltering experimental steps. Why do so many couples experience this “Wow!”? Here is one person's answer. What is your answer?

Taken out of my anguish

Many readers will identify with Dynomite's charming article.

Agreements are a two-way street

The Taken In Hand relationship is an agreement between the two spouses, and to have a good relationship, it is important to uphold agreements.

Truth and life

Blush on the subject of what to do if you have not managed to obey your husband to the letter despite your best efforts to do so.

Taken In Hand - the view of a psychiatrist

Is this philosophy of intimate relationships really as bad as some self-proclaimed ‘experts’ would have us believe?

A marriage of understanding, passion and pregnancy

One of the wonderful things about a Taken In Hand marriage is that the control dynamics make it possible – in some cases at least – for man and wife to be more excited by one another during pregnancy instead of less.

We were virgins when we married

It can be fun to learn together.

She wants him to prevail

Women who want to be taken in hand often feel very frustrated if the man doesn't appreciate the importance, to her, of consensual non-consent.

Erotic pregnancy and afterwards...

Eroticising pregnancy brings husband and wife together and makes the whole experience very special.

A man with a backbone can be very soothing

A Taken In Hand woman who is outraged about a decision her husband has made, may well be aghast if she succeeds in getting her man to change his decision. It can be very soothing to be with a man who holds firm and does not allow himself to be pushed about.

How we stopped the escalation of verbal hostilities

How Taken In Hand dramatically reduced the amount of negativity and increased the amount of positive communication in one marriage.

Handle with care... and honor and fidelity

Sam has a message for men on the importance of fidelity, honour, and handling a woman with care.

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

My friend, my lover, my rock

This is how one reader describes her husband. How do you describe yours?

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

Who is the sexiest woman in the world?

“My wife!”, says Sam – and other Taken In Hand husbands.

When love transcends a weight issue

Kat on her ‘unconditional love’ for her husband.

Flying by the seat of your pants

Love is more visceral than cerebral. It is more flying by the seat of one's pants than filing a flight plan.

Do you have the patience to make your marriage work?

Are you like a pair of wooden gears, meshing together better and better as the teeth age?

A deep and satisfying marriage

Kat and her husband made a vow to forsake all others until death do them part, and they have a deep and satisfying relationship in which their love continues to grow.

How we have stayed happily married for over 30 years

Life is never perfect, but marriage is what you make it, and Kat and her husband evidently know what is important.

Who wants a slave?

Why are so many Taken In Hand readers uncomfortable with the idea of Taken In Hand wife as ‘slave’?

Arguments for marriage, cohabiting or living separately

On Taken In Hand, we tend to talk marriage, but why? What are the arguments for each option?

Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!

These anecdotes from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's wonderful book, Kosher Sex, might help.

Impregnation

Why many Taken In Hand couples find the idea of impregnation erotic, and how viewing impregnation, pregnancy and breastfeeding from a Taken In Hand perspective can make what could otherwise be difficult or off-putting, intensely exciting.

Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?

A glimpse at an article that has stayed with me for three years.

Feeling thrilled by the prospect of being taken in hand

Some might find it highly unreasonable to be punished for forgetfulness; others find it fun and thrilling.

A lifetime of denial ends

BlueRose calls it a lifetime of denial, but in some cases it is just an inability to pinpoint what we want. (I'm still working on it, myself!) In other cases, the denial is functional and important because the psychological autonomy of the person is too fragile at that time to handle a power exchange relationship.

My experience of taking my wife in hand

Forty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this!

Getting it right takes time

When people discover Taken In Hand they often want to jump straight in at the deep end and make radical changes in their marriages. It really isn't that easy. It takes time and patience and lots of mistakes along the way. Thinking of it more as evolutionary changes rather than revolutionary changes is more realistic.

On being the servant-leader in my relationship

Stephen keeps in mind the “servant” bit of “servant-leader”. No wonder his wife spoils him!

Closing the gap

This warm and insightful piece illustrates the fact that even those in the closest relationship can sometimes inadvertently misinterpret the other's signals and think that the other is being a bit distant. It also shows how being able to have fun and laugh together can break any tension and put things back on track.

Power connectivity

When Sam talked to Missy and connected up the Taken In Hand power cord in their relationship, the energy generated was thrilling!

When your love doesn't want to get married

What happens when one person does not want to marry the other despite the fact that the other really wants to get married?

Natural flow

On natural flow as opposed to unnaturally dominant or submissive behaviour, with advice to men to put the woman before their own whims, and not to expect to be in charge of everything all the time.

Taken In Hand is about male leadership not spanking

Being taken in hand is not about spanking. Sometimes Tevemer's husband takes her in hand without spanking her at all.