A husband in a Taken In Hand relationship needs to get through to his wife. If he is not getting through to her, his wife needs to find a way to let him know.

Discovering a safe place.

Don't waste your life looking for something you already have, if only you could see it.

This is an FAQ question: How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

How Taken In Hand dramatically reduced the amount of negativity and increased the amount of positive communication in one marriage.

Louise wonders if it is real. Real what? That is the question.

Not to live with the fear that one might inadvertently overpower the man one loves is deeply relaxing, as Milly says.

This piece expresses the excitement many women feel when they are in a relationship with a man who wears the trousers.

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

Instead of behaving badly to provoke your husband into taking you in hand, take this much more constructive course of action.

That's what you think. But it might be that you are inadvertently undermining him because you cannot see the man he is. You may think this is definitely not the case, but it is worth taking steps to make sure that it is not you who are the barrier to change.

If you as a man want deep peace (and a lot of fun!) in your Taken In Hand relationship, be prepared to enforce compliance.

If you doubt that your Taken In Hand wife wants you to assert yourself, hit the read article link now!

Women who take responsibility for their risk and who expect mistakes to happen are a better bet than those who don't. Yes, I know: it sounds obvious, doesn't it? But it appears not to be obvious to all men.

When you are beginning your Taken In Hand journey, think of it as a rather exciting and fun but potentially dangerous exploration in the dark, and on no account expect everything to go smoothly and fall into place instantly. Keep a sense of humour, and be prepared to backtrack and try a different route. It will take lots of feeling about in the dark to find your way, as Tevemer's fascinating account shows.

To all the men who understand: thank you. To all who don't: I hope that this will help.

Forty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this!

When people discover Taken In Hand they often want to jump straight in at the deep end and make radical changes in their marriages. It really isn't that easy. It takes time and patience and lots of mistakes along the way. Thinking of it more as evolutionary changes rather than revolutionary changes is more realistic.

Mistakes are common when couples change the basis of their relationship, so it is wise to take it slowly and be alert for signs that there is a problem. Assume that you will have to make changes as you go along. Those who are flexible and open to making changes are likely to do better.

If you're looking for a Conan the Barbarian type, the requirement that consent be explicit is a real drag. DeeMarie has some advice for any Conans out there.

For those for whom being taken in hand can involve being given a jolly good hiding!

Taken In Hand is not about disciplining a naughty wife, and if you view it that way, you will probably eventually find it unsatisfactory. Stephen explains why.

Lois doesn't believe that it is impossible, and I hope she's right.

Some excellent advice for the man whose wife or girlfriend wants to be taken in hand.

It is often said that a man should not need to get physical to remain in charge of his woman. Tevemer points out the flaws in this idea.

To read Jennifer's interesting account of how she has gradually explored Taken In Hand ideas with her husband, hit the read article link now!

Giving up control to the degree Otter has done is really not easy, should not be rushed, and is not for everyone; but for Otter, ultimately, it has relieved stress.

Without control and consent to that control, for many Taken In Hand people there is no erotic connection and nothing to feed the relationship.

In this beautiful piece, Noone explains why it is not unreasonable to think of the intense bonding of a monogamous relationship as being in some sense ownership.

If you think that women who want to be a little afraid of their men must be in need of psychotherapy or chemical help, this article probably won't dispel your illusions. But if you are curious, hit the read article link now!

Women who are high dominance tend to attract lots of submissive men. What is a woman to do if she is strong and possibly even dominant in some sense, but she is drawn to men who are even more dominant than she is, and not to submissive men? Try to suppress her strength? Try to become more submissive? Try to act submissive even when she doesn't feel it? What do you think?

When people ask whether you want to be “dominated” what is your answer? I never quite know whether the answer is yes or no. It depends! What does the questioner have in mind? People often think that because sexual dominance and service-orientated submission leave them cold, there is nothing sexual about their desire for their man to take charge. This piece explains what is really going on in such cases.

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

A reader has written to ask what we have to say on the issue of so-called ‘equality’ and the criticism that Taken In Hand relationships can't possibly be healthy because they are not equal. Hit the read article link for an answer.

Don't miss this lovely account by Lady K of her development from vague stirrings when she read Heinlein's I Will Fear No Evil to the beautiful Taken In Hand relationship she and her husband have now.

Like many Taken In Hand readers, Tasha has always felt different, and she had always feared that someone would discover her secret and react badly. Hit the read article link to find out what happened when she revealed her deep dark secret to her husband.

When Melanie decided to take the plunge and surrender control to her husband, she was surprised by his reaction.

After the demise of Stephen's marriage, he was determined that his next relationship would be different. He knew that he needed to be the head of the household. Having found a woman who wanted that, he then set about turning the fantasy into reality. His major concern at first was how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman you love. But his new wife wanted him to be firm, and not just as a game.

Do you command respect and obedience without even trying? Do you have natural authority, or would you have trouble controlling even a worm? If you don't have a commanding presence but wish you did, hit the read article link.

If you are in a new relationship, or have yet to find a man, and you want to be with a man who is lovingly dominant, you might like to consider this advice.