Articles by men

Four levels of spanking

Noone on the four levels of spanking.

Do women want more feminine men?

Not all women want men to be more “feminine”. Some of us prefer take-charge men.

From BDSM to Taken In Hand

KrosRogue is one of the many individuals who have arrived at Taken In Hand via BDSM. He says that he owes much to BDSM philosophy, which is, like Taken In Hand, based on primal desires derived from sadism, masochism, domination, and submission.

Is the discipline focus limiting your relationship?

Taken In Hand is not about disciplining a naughty wife, and if you view it that way, you will probably eventually find it unsatisfactory. Stephen explains why.

A woman must know that her man cares

Being a husband is not about being a warden, it is about caring.

Do the right thing - be the captain of your ship

Some excellent advice for the man whose wife or girlfriend wants to be taken in hand.

On being a man

A man must have the capacity to look beyond himself.

How I found myself here

How one couple found Taken In Hand.

Taken In Hand - intimacy and romance

Stephen on how Taken In Hand intimacy creates lasting romance.

Consent, control, connection

Without control and consent to that control, for many Taken In Hand people there is no erotic connection and nothing to feed the relationship.

A strong willed woman wanting a man to lose against

For some men, the ideal relationship would be with a strong, independent, fiesty woman... who wants an even stronger man.

Have you found a proper balance?

Noone argues that to find a good balance a man has to be a tough softy.

How often do you have sex?

Couples in good relationships tend to be more sexually engaged with each other even in later life.

What it is that we do

Here is a couple who clearly adore each other and who take pleasure in pleasing one another. I love the warmth and the humour and the natural, non-stereotypical way they seem to interact. This is not about the specifics of what they do, but about the underlying attitude they have. I hope you find this piece as charming as I do.

Practical hints for men - handling a strong woman

Carlf with some advice for men about taking a strong woman in hand.

Why is this desire so powerful?

Why is the desire some women have for a Taken In Hand relationship so strong? For Michael's answer, hit the read article link now.

Keeping the lines of communication open

Fosti argues that it is important for the man in a Taken In Hand relationship to keep an open channel of communication, so that the woman feels ‘heard’.

Trials and errors – appeasement for anger

KrosRogue's account of the demise of a recent relationship and what lesson he has drawn from this experience.

And Adam knew his wife

To read this charming article about Sam's discovery of what it means to know a woman, hit the read article link now!

Self-realization – the catapult

To read this fascinating account of how KrosRogue came to realise that he wants to be in control, hit the read article link now!

The soothing effect of vowing to obey

Almost four decades ago, Noone's wife shocked her peers by promising to obey. Some of her friends probably thought her out of her mind, but for her, this vow brought a deep sense of peace.

Ownership as bonding

In this beautiful piece, Noone explains why it is not unreasonable to think of the intense bonding of a monogamous relationship as being in some sense ownership.

Which comes first? Dominance or submission?

Which do you think should come first? The control by the man – as in bringing the woman to submission – or the woman's submission? As with everything else, it probably depends on the individuals concerned.

Taking her in hand is not a contact sport

Eric argues that a man possessing natural leadership does not need to use violence to settle a dispute, and should not do so. But what if that is what the woman wants, Eric?!

The resistant woman

Eric says he wants neither a dominant nor a submissive woman. What he wants is what he describes as a “resistant” woman. To find out what he means by that, hit the read article link now!

A relationship of equals

Adam's vision of a Taken In Hand relationship – a relationship of equals, with both modern and traditional elements.

Communication

This short and sweet piece is about the flourishing of communication in a Taken In Hand relationship.

Understanding

Why would a man want to (consensually) rape the woman he loves? And why would she want him to? And why call it “rape” if it is consensual? Here is Aiden's poetic answer. Please do not hit the read article link unless rape is not a difficult issue for you.

Why would a women want to be spanked?

In the absence of any noticeable psychological disorder or mind-altering substances, why would an intelligent woman want to be spanked? Even more mind-boggling, why would a grown woman who doesn't fantasise about being a little girl want to be spanked naked over her man's knee?

Empowering dominance

Don't miss this superb piece by Max Maximovich, whose laid-back dominance helps the woman he loves become her truest self. Beautiful. Please write more, Max!

Don't forget your whip

This powerful article will thrill women who crave a man's control. Such women know that it is, as the writer says, sometimes necessary to “get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.”

Decades of discipline, decades of happy marriage

Why, after many decades of marriage, would a man still find it necessary to discipline his wife? And why would she let him?

The worm turns (a little late, but better late than never!)

Theo thinks that he has made a big mistake in how he has been relating to his wife, but reading Taken In Hand has given him hope for the future. Best of luck, Theo, and do let us know how it goes – I can't wait for the next exciting instalment!

Authority in a Taken In Hand relationship

Authority is the right or power to enforce rules or give orders. Many Taken In Hand readers use consensual authority to enhance their relationship.

To be taken

In his eminently reasonable, calm way, Stephen takes up the discussion I started with my article, When rape is a gift. He argues that for some women, there is something very primal about being overpowered by a strong man.

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

The face, the mask, and the dream

Who is this person you're in a relationship with? KrosRogue says it is three persons.

Subjugation or submission?

Don't miss this short and very wise piece about the difference between submission and subjugation.

The difference between dominant and domineering

Domineering and subjugation are not about building, they are about tearing down.

Looking into the mirror of life

In this beautiful piece about attitudes to emotional baggage, Noone gently suggests that a little humility might be in order.