Articles by men

The Future of Men, by Marian Salzman, Ira Matathia and Ann O'Reilly: a book review

The male as marketing fantasy.

Enjoying consensual sexual aggression

On the joy of consensual ravishment in a Taken In Hand relationship.

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

Growing up

As a child, Ian always knew he was different.

A man released from his pseudo-beta torment

This is a fascinating account of Silverback's journey to the discovery of his real nature, via society-induced pseudo-beta behaviour, dark fantasies and guilt.

Mr Darcy, Mr Knightley and the Taken In Hand ideal

Edward Anthony on Jane Austen's characters and Taken In Hand.

The making of a dominant man

In this charming piece, Carl points out that alpha males may be born, but they can also make themselves.

What are my rights as a Taken In Hand woman?

Don't mistake being in a Taken In Hand relationship for giving up your right not to be badly treated. As Dragon explains, when a man accepts the power to control you he also accepts the responsibility to protect and care for you.

Pornography prevents and corrodes relationships

John argues that using pornography can destroy or even prevent the development of an intensely connected, passionate relationship.

Not a lower-case girl

Why Coryman's girl doesn't call him him sir, eat out of a dog bowl, wear a collar or write her name in lower-case.

How our relationship has changed

Sometimes it is difficult to put the changes into words because many of them are quite subtle.

Who is the sexiest woman in the world?

“My wife!”, says Sam – and other Taken In Hand husbands.

A difficult wife

Next time I am appalled by overbearing behaviour, I'll think of this piece and try extra hard to be understanding and kind. Whether the person has such a story as the one Henry mentions here or not, it might help.

What is the alpha male's secret?

Is it all in the voice?

Flying by the seat of your pants

Love is more visceral than cerebral. It is more flying by the seat of one's pants than filing a flight plan.

Do you have the patience to make your marriage work?

Are you like a pair of wooden gears, meshing together better and better as the teeth age?

The power of a woman who submits to her man

Do not make the mistake of thinking that a woman in a Taken In Hand relationship is not powerful. She is very powerful, as Mike explains.

Who wants a slave?

Why are so many Taken In Hand readers uncomfortable with the idea of Taken In Hand wife as ‘slave’?

Is spanking necessary in a taken in hand relationship?

Stephen explains why the answer is “yes” for many Taken In Hand couples.

Feminine submission and traditional language

A literary piece on the language of sexual submission.

Is co-dependency a bad thing in a relationship?

Douglas says not.

Shades of grey

Paul cautions against black-and-white thinking in Taken In Hand relationships.

A risky strategy but it worked for us

What Alan did would not work in most cases, but evidently it worked for them.

Narcissistic dominance vs Taken In Hand dominance

Healthy dominance vs narcissistic dominance.

Love Is A Decision, by Gary Smalley: a book review

If you have read this book, what do you think?

The word “anah” in brief

In his analysis of the Biblical Hebrew word “anah”, Bill Wagner gets to the bottom of things.

Listening isn't weak

Men sometimes (understandably!) fear looking weak or being manipulated so much that they are intransigent and don't listen when it would really be better if they did. What is a man to do?

My experience of taking my wife in hand

Forty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this!

On being the servant-leader in my relationship

Stephen keeps in mind the “servant” bit of “servant-leader”. No wonder his wife spoils him!

A brief introduction to Taken In Hand

KrosRogue describes the Taken In Hand relationship in Biblical terms, but this short piece will appeal to Christians and non-Christians alike.

Not all men will get it unless you explain

Have you ever walked away from a man who would have taken you in hand if only he'd known that that was what you wanted? Has a woman ever walked away from you because her “take me in hand” hints did not get through to you?

Do with me what you will

Jeff describes so well that state in which a Taken In Hand woman feels safe, loved, protected, cared for, completely peaceful and driven to please him, her eyes saying “do with me what you will“, her heart open, her mind and body, his.

A good leader accepts that he is only human

In a position of power, a man must be mindful of his fallibility.

Barbie is the doll, Ken is just an accessory.

A timely warning that not everyone is ready for a Taken In Hand relationship, and especially not one involving corporal punishment.

Power connectivity

When Sam talked to Missy and connected up the Taken In Hand power cord in their relationship, the energy generated was thrilling!

Force majeure

What if...

Natural flow

On natural flow as opposed to unnaturally dominant or submissive behaviour, with advice to men to put the woman before their own whims, and not to expect to be in charge of everything all the time.

Respect and responsibility

If you are a woman, have you ever felt uncomfortable dating a man who expects you to serve him? Have you sometimes been a bit too giving? What do you think about this quote from Pat Allen's book Getting to “I Do”?: “A masculine-energy man does not marry a woman who gives to him, unless he is a “little boy” who wants to be mothered. A masculine man marries a feminine woman who is available to receive from him, who respects him for giving, and who knows how to give back to reward him but always a little less than she gets. [...] Masculine men like problems and challenges. They like the chase. “Little boys” like Mama to do it for them; they don't want you to ask them for anything at all.” (p. 59-60, Chapter 4, Is giving masculine or feminine?)

What women want

This is what I want. If you too are a woman, what do you want?

When is implicit consent enough?

To what extent do you think that consent for control should be explicit? Does it depend on the way control is expressed? What do you all think?