Introductory articles

FAQ (answers to frequently-asked questions)

Do you have questions you want answered about Taken In Hand? Now would be a good time to ask them. If anyone would like to help me compile an FAQ, whether by suggesting further questions or answering any of the questions listed, hit the read article link now!

What women want

This is what I want. If you too are a woman, what do you want?

Wedded bliss

For many couples, the move to a Taken In Hand relationship brings fewer arguments not because the woman is then silenced (she is not) but because there is more good feeling and intimacy in the relationship.

From BDSM to Taken In Hand

KrosRogue is one of the many individuals who have arrived at Taken In Hand via BDSM. He says that he owes much to BDSM philosophy, which is, like Taken In Hand, based on primal desires derived from sadism, masochism, domination, and submission.

A woman must know that her man cares

Being a husband is not about being a warden, it is about caring.

He's in charge. . . but I do it my way

Is there one undisputed leader in your relationship? If so, what does that mean in practice?

Do the right thing - be the captain of your ship

Some excellent advice for the man whose wife or girlfriend wants to be taken in hand.

Real life leadership or rules and rigidity?

Tevemer and her husband dropped the rules-based approach they adopted in the beginning – in favour of a more naturally-evolving real-life style of leadership.

Is it true that a man shouldn't need to get physical?

It is often said that a man should not need to get physical to remain in charge of his woman. Tevemer points out the flaws in this idea.

On being a man

A man must have the capacity to look beyond himself.

Is he head of the household?

If a man is kind and generous-hearted, can he be head of the household? Yes of course! Those who aren't, shouldn't be.

How we stopped fighting and became happier together

A week after discovering the Taken In Hand site, Louise and her husband had a terrible row. To find out how they resolved the crisis and became happier together, hit the read article link now.

Taking it step-by-step making piecemeal changes

To read Jennifer's interesting account of how she has gradually explored Taken In Hand ideas with her husband, hit the read article link now!

Different strokes for different folks

Even within Taken In Hand, different individuals have very different preferences.

Acts of love

What kind of service does every able-bodied person whose relationships are good give loved ones? Love-based service.

An alpha female bares her throat only to her mate

A strong woman might want might well want to be cherished by a stronger man, and she might well not be generally submissive or want to be treated like a servant.

Taken In Hand means different things to different people

There is a lot to consider if you want to be taken in hand. Here are just a few of the issues you might want to think about and discuss.

Ce type de relations pourrait-il vous convenir ?

Qu'est-ce précisment qu'une une relation « Prise en main » ?

My husband and I face the world as a team

Bramble's beautiful relationship sounds like my grandparents' relationship. I love the mutual respect and kindness here. An inspitation!

Being Taken In Hand doesn't mean being silent

A man in control would be wise to ensure that his woman feels ‘heard’ – accepting a man's authority should not mean ceasing to have a voice in the relationship. If only one mind were doing the necessary thinking and problem-solving, the other would be superfluous.

A small but touching act of kindness

When Otter had a problem her husband came to the rescue. A touching account of a small but lovely act of kindness.

What is a Taken In Hand relationship? Here is one answer.

What is a Taken In Hand relationship? (This answer is aimed specifically at a BDSM / D/s / TPE audience.)

Consent, control, connection

Without control and consent to that control, for many Taken In Hand people there is no erotic connection and nothing to feed the relationship.

Shall we dance?

Otter on Taken In Hand relationships and the 2004 film, Shall We Dance?

A sword-wielding female warrior taken in hand!

It is often the strongest, most fiesty women who want to be taken in hand.

Is the man's authority real if consent can be revoked?

In a Taken In Hand relationship, the woman wholeheartedly consents to being under the man's authority, but consent can be revoked. Does that make the authority any less real?

We're not all submissive!

Sometimes, being stuck with someone else's ill-fitting label can be a real drag. If you don't like to be labelled “submissive”, others should respect that.

It is working as advertised!

For Louise and her husband, Taken In Hand has, as it were, worked as advertised.

Have you found a proper balance?

Noone argues that to find a good balance a man has to be a tough softy.

Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

What is the difference between being submissive (if you're a woman) on the one hand, and being Taken In Hand on the other? Or is there any difference? It depends whom you ask!

How my husband makes me melt

Louise on the power of her husband's newfound calm, to soothe her into submissiveness.

Do you have these vital qualities women want in a man?

Glitter wants a man who has self-control and integrity – like her grandfather.

Are you submissive to all men or to only one man?

Since telling her husband that she wanted a Taken In Hand relationship, Charlotte has found that other men seem to sense that she feels very strongly that she belongs to her husband.

Could this kind of relationship be for you?

What exactly is a Taken In Hand relationship?

What is the secret recipe?

What is it about being thoroughly taken in hand and spanked that produces profound effects like these?

Is this really consensual?

I hope that this will extinguish any doubts anyone might have that Taken In Hand is about consensual relationships only.

If I asked for the moon...

You won't want to miss this moving article. It is about the generosity of spirit that real love brings.

In my room

Fosti on how he sees his role as the head of his household. Not to be missed!

Enjoying our relationship

Babydoll is so happy that her husband loves their Taken In Hand relationship and glad that he felt able to show her his dominant side even after an unfortunately bad past relationship.

Working wives

Some women are thrilled that their husbands do not allow them to work outside the home; others revel in the fact that their husbands take them in hand and also support their wish to work. This working women would prefer not to work but does because she loves and submits to her husband, and he prefers her to work.