New to the site?ArticlesDon't miss these pagesReader discussionsSubmit an article!Technical & adminUser loginNavigationTaken in Hand articles
Taken In Hand accolades“[S]ince the day I [discovered Taken In Hand] I have rediscovered my feminity.” “[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with pain, and pleasure. Domination roles. Submissive roles. The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.” “Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really. The site is about male-led relationships which do not necessarily have to involve spanking. The owner of the site is more interested in other aspects of male control. There are a lot of interesting articles on the site.” “Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.” “[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Taken In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many so-called ‘doms’ will even think to aspire to.” “Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.” “I feel the best spanking site is Taken in Hand. I have referred hundreds of people to that site and have the link on my Yahoo profile.” “First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.” “[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal “I enjoyed [Taken In Hand] very much and I recommend that everyone here visits it.” “Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, dominance, submission (not the leather-and-stud kind), in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.” “Taken In Hand: Fascinating BDSM blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!” “The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.” “It's a great site.” “If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)” “great site.” “There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.) “[Taken In Hand] is really the most beautiful website devoted to DD.” “[Taken In Hand] is my major kink” “[Taken In Hand is an] erudite and intelligent site” “[Taken In Hand is a]n excellent site with many thought-provoking articles and responses.” “[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!” “[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are ‘seemingly’ natural allies.” “As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting to be dominated” “I was delighted to receive word of Taken In Hand. ... a very thoughtful and well-written group blog. ... I'm looking forward to reading through this blog the way I look forward to reading a new novel by a favorite author. It looks that good.” “Wow. This site is so amazing.” ““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website ... from a MaleDom/femsub perspective ... [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other ‘traditional marriage’ sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.” “[Taken In Hand is] a brill resource.... for info articles... and real life experiences” “A very cool site” “Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women” “a great site” “an exremely high quality site... I highly recommend [Taken In Hand].” “fantastic site” “Intéressant à lire” “Un site remarquable” “[Y]our site rocks!” “Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful even if you don't use corporal punishment.” “a wonderful site” “the best there is” “The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.” “What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was ‘different’ than most.” “GREAT site” “Website of the Month” Other |
Introductory articlesHe isn't interested in or capable of taking you in hand?That's what you think. But it might be that you are inadvertently undermining him because you cannot see the man he is. You may think this is definitely not the case, but it is worth taking steps to make sure that it is not you who are the barrier to change. A beginners' guide to spankingWhat beginners might want to know about taking a woman in hand by spanking her. Si vis pacem, para bellumIf you as a man want deep peace (and a lot of fun!) in your Taken In Hand relationship, be prepared to enforce compliance. Saying things for effectWhen a man says he doesn't care what the woman he loves wants, is he serious, or is he saying it for effect? This piece explains why you are less likely to hear so many statements said for effect in a Taken In Hand marriage than in some other kinds of relationships. (And no, this is not to say that Taken In Hand is better, merely to point out a difference!) The power of a woman who submits to her manDo not make the mistake of thinking that a woman in a Taken In Hand relationship is not powerful. She is very powerful, as Mike explains. Do you 'meet as equals' or 'establish roles from the outset'?How in the world can you create a male-controlled relationship if you meet and get to know each other as equals? An overview of Taken In HandIn a nutshell... We should consider ourselves so luckyThis beautiful piece by Lucy describes her quintessentially Taken In Hand relationship and the wonderful man who loves her. Essential reading! What do all the different types of Taken In Hand relationship have in common?What do all the different types of Taken In Hand relationship have in common? Why do you consider such a wide variety of relationships to be Taken In Hand?Another FAQ question answered. Is spanking always sexual?In a Taken In Hand relationship, is spanking always sexual? Or is it sometimes definitely not sexual? Yes, it's more on this long-running debate. (Try not to groan!) Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!These anecdotes from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's wonderful book, Kosher Sex, might help. Give me intensity or give me death!Or rather, give me celibacy until death. Women who take responsibility for their own actionsWomen who take responsibility for their risk and who expect mistakes to happen are a better bet than those who don't. Yes, I know: it sounds obvious, doesn't it? But it appears not to be obvious to all men. Shades of greyPaul cautions against black-and-white thinking in Taken In Hand relationships. Do you have unrealistic expectations?Are you a person who lives and breathes the idea that human beings are fallible and does not expect the impossible, or are you a person who hasn't really grasped that everyone makes mistakes? If you tend to feel very upset or angry about faults in others, or if you tend to focus on the negative instead of on the positive, it might be that you have unrealistic expectations and infallibilist tendencies. This is likely to be making your life much less happy and good than it could be. Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?A glimpse at an article that has stayed with me for three years. 2005 Jul 19 - 09:00 | read article | permanent link
Dominant men: D/s vs. Taken In HandKiva likes the fact that Taken In Hand relationships are enjoyable for both persons. Equality through Taken in Hand?BlueRose has discovered an unexpected benefit of Taken In Hand: her husband is treating her better and more as an equal than he was before! The crooked path to where we areWhen you are beginning your Taken In Hand journey, think of it as a rather exciting and fun but potentially dangerous exploration in the dark, and on no account expect everything to go smoothly and fall into place instantly. Keep a sense of humour, and be prepared to backtrack and try a different route. It will take lots of feeling about in the dark to find your way, as Tevemer's fascinating account shows. A lifetime of denial endsBlueRose calls it a lifetime of denial, but in some cases it is just an inability to pinpoint what we want. (I'm still working on it, myself!) In other cases, the denial is functional and important because the psychological autonomy of the person is too fragile at that time to handle a power exchange relationship. The subjection of womenTo all the men who understand: thank you. To all who don't: I hope that this will help. Listening isn't weakMen sometimes (understandably!) fear looking weak or being manipulated so much that they are intransigent and don't listen when it would really be better if they did. What is a man to do? My experience of taking my wife in handForty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this! Getting it right takes timeWhen people discover Taken In Hand they often want to jump straight in at the deep end and make radical changes in their marriages. It really isn't that easy. It takes time and patience and lots of mistakes along the way. Thinking of it more as evolutionary changes rather than revolutionary changes is more realistic. On being the servant-leader in my relationshipStephen keeps in mind the “servant” bit of “servant-leader”. No wonder his wife spoils him! What is a Taken In Hand relationship?An index of introductory articles. A brief introduction to Taken In HandKrosRogue describes the Taken In Hand relationship in Biblical terms, but this short piece will appeal to Christians and non-Christians alike. The carrot or the stick?Don't be misled: the form often belies the substance. StereotypesTaken In Hand is not about enacting a stereotypical role in a stereotypical relationship, so if you have a few qualms about being defined in terms of stereotypes, that is not a bad thing. If being expected to act a stereotypical role feels like lying, don't do it. And certainly don't regard your desire to be honest and maintain integrity as a character flaw. Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?Women sometimes say they want a Taken In Hand relationship but then when they actually start a relationship, seem afraid to give up control. If you are a man who is frustrated that your woman is not acting the way you think she should be acting, or if you are a woman who is being accused of not being submissive enough, not being feminine, or controlling with complaints, hit the read article link now! A good leader accepts that he is only humanIn a position of power, a man must be mindful of his fallibility. Is Taken In Hand a moral matter?Is Taken In Hand a right and a duty – compulsory – or is it something an individual can choose or not choose as he or she prefers? Barbie is the doll, Ken is just an accessory.A timely warning that not everyone is ready for a Taken In Hand relationship, and especially not one involving corporal punishment. How is this different from other male-led relationships?Many male-led relationships exist that are not Taken In Hand relationships. What are the differences? Power connectivityWhen Sam talked to Missy and connected up the Taken In Hand power cord in their relationship, the energy generated was thrilling! Natural flowOn natural flow as opposed to unnaturally dominant or submissive behaviour, with advice to men to put the woman before their own whims, and not to expect to be in charge of everything all the time. Taken In Hand is about male leadership not spankingBeing taken in hand is not about spanking. Sometimes Tevemer's husband takes her in hand without spanking her at all. |