Introductory articles

Are you getting through to her?

A husband in a Taken In Hand relationship needs to get through to his wife. If he is not getting through to her, his wife needs to find a way to let him know.

How do I broach the subject of Taken In Hand?

How do I broach the subject of Taken In Hand?

I want us to have a Taken In Hand relationship. How can I persuade my wife?

I want us to have a Taken In Hand relationship. How do I persuade my wife?

DD relationships - the view of a mental health professional

Although we seem to have been attracting the attention of a number of individuals incensed by the fact that there are several doctors, psychologists, social workers and other mental health clinicians writing for this site, here is yet another person in the field who has something sensible to say about the kinds of relationships discussed here.

A mysterious compulsion to obey

Loise on the mysterious effect of a certain tone of voice.

A year of new management

Jane M's account of her Taken In Hand journey in the last year.

Having consent to take her whenever you want assumes that you will act wisely

M.D. on when not to forcibly take your wife, even if you have her consent to take her whenever you want.

Correcting possible misconceptions about Taken In Hand

This piece by Sully is essential reading for anyone who is shocked by the idea of a Taken In Hand relationship.

As the head of our household I put my wife first

Gary points out that a good leader serves.

Why is commitment important?

Stephen explains what men are missing sexually when they fail to take into account the importance of commitment.

Exercise authority

Sometimes the relationship needs a spanking, in which case it might be a mistake to wait for a ‘good reason’, as CarlF so rightly says.

Taken out of my anguish

Many readers will identify with Dynomite's charming article.

Forget femininity!

Louise doesn't think much of people acting like idiots.

I don't want to be submissive!

Like many women on this site who want to be actively controlled by their man, Sully finds the idea of ‘just submitting’ (to what, exactly, if the man is not exerting control?!) decidedly unappealing.

Setting the record straight about punishment spanking

Louise concisely articulates how punishment spanking works for her and her husband and other Taken In Hand couples whose relationships have this feature.

A dominant man brainwashed into submission

Just as some women grow up with the idea that the desire to live under the control of a man is unacceptable and needs to be overcome, some men also grow up with the idea that the desire to be in control in a relationship is unacceptable and needs to be overcome. This website aims to promote real choice, by letting it be known that there are thousands and thousands and thousands of happy, stable, well-adjusted Taken In Hand couples out there.

Agreements are a two-way street

The Taken In Hand relationship is an agreement between the two spouses, and to have a good relationship, it is important to uphold agreements.

Is the idea of fairness causing trouble in your relationship?

You won't want to miss this very important article by Ted.

Lessons from my marriage for wives wanting their husband to take them in hand

Charlene has some advice for women wanting their husband to take them in hand.

It's not because he's infallible

In Taken In Hand relationships in which there is corporal punishment, it is all one way: husband spanking wife. People often ask if this means we think the man is infallible or the woman inferior. In her inimitable way, Louise sets the record straight.

Is taking his wife in hand self-sacrificing for the man?

Is taking his wife in hand self-sacrificing for the man? No.

How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

This is an FAQ question: How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

Taken In Hand - the bare essence

Charlene's post is an excellent concise introduction to Taken In Hand.

Taken In Hand - the view of a psychiatrist

Is this philosophy of intimate relationships really as bad as some self-proclaimed ‘experts’ would have us believe?

Where these men come from...

Where do the wonderful men who are in Taken In Hand relationships come from?

How I discovered what I need

When you introduce the idea of Taken In Hand to the person you love, he or she might not immediately react well to the idea, but people often start liking the idea later, as in this case.

Nostalgic? Not a bit!

It’s sometimes suggested, not only by our critics but also by avid Taken in Hand fanatics, that what we’re about is a return to the 1950s. But as Carl argues, our ideas aren't located anywhere near the 1950s: they're very 21st century indeed.

Is Taken In Hand control real?

It is sometimes suggested that the control in Taken In Hand relationships is not real, but it certainly feels real to those involved.

How to read this site

Worried by something you have read on this site? Here is how to interpret what you read here.

Spanking in anger

Not every man loses control when angry, and not every woman is terrified by being spanked in anger. For some couples in some situations, it is a good idea, as Louise explains.

To promise or not to promise?

If you make a promise no human being could deliver, says Louise, you may live to regret it.

Loving, supportive and kind control

A man can feel the need to be in control without feeling any inclination for that control to be oppressive or in any way unpleasant for the woman he loves.

A man with a backbone can be very soothing

A Taken In Hand woman who is outraged about a decision her husband has made, may well be aghast if she succeeds in getting her man to change his decision. It can be very soothing to be with a man who holds firm and does not allow himself to be pushed about.

Being with a stronger man allows a strong woman to relax

Not to live with the fear that one might inadvertently overpower the man one loves is deeply relaxing, as Milly says.

Handle with care... and honor and fidelity

Sam has a message for men on the importance of fidelity, honour, and handling a woman with care.

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

What if your wife feels scared and vulnerable?

Advice for any man whose wife feels scared and vulnerable during the introduction of a Taken In Hand relationship.

How are things different from before Taken In Hand?

Louise says that it was when she discovered this site that she first considered the idea that it could be possible to respond pleasurably to authority rather than negatively.

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

Effect positive change by acting as if...

Instead of behaving badly to provoke your husband into taking you in hand, take this much more constructive course of action.