Dominant should not mean domineering or bullying

DD relationships - the view of a mental health professional

Although we seem to have been attracting the attention of a number of individuals incensed by the fact that there are several doctors, psychologists, social workers and other mental health clinicians writing for this site, here is yet another person in the field who has something sensible to say about the kinds of relationships discussed here.

Having consent to take her whenever you want assumes that you will act wisely

M.D. on when not to forcibly take your wife, even if you have her consent to take her whenever you want.

Correcting possible misconceptions about Taken In Hand

This piece by Sully is essential reading for anyone who is shocked by the idea of a Taken In Hand relationship.

As the head of our household I put my wife first

Gary points out that a good leader serves.

A childhood memory

Don't miss Princess4rev's charming account of a childhood memory jogged by reading this site.

Responding to his loving control

A year ago Pondering would have scoffed had anyone told her she’d be feeling as she does now.

Agreements are a two-way street

The Taken In Hand relationship is an agreement between the two spouses, and to have a good relationship, it is important to uphold agreements.

Why we rejected rules and punishment in our Taken In Hand relationship

Some couples' marriages are most definitely Taken In Hand but involve nothing even remotely resembline rules and punishment.

Imagining my marriage as one long road-trip

Wanna's husband is the driver, but not a slave driver.

Truth and life

Blush on the subject of what to do if you have not managed to obey your husband to the letter despite your best efforts to do so.

The man who doesn't give a stuff about labels

Marie thought she wanted an alpha male, until she met a man confident enough to be gentle and protective.

Taken In Hand - the view of a psychiatrist

Is this philosophy of intimate relationships really as bad as some self-proclaimed ‘experts’ would have us believe?

A few thoughts on crying

While some women never cry when given a thrashing, and never want to, others long for the release of tension that a good cry represents, yet can't cry. If you are such a woman, or if you are a man whose wife can't cry, this article might help.

Loving, supportive and kind control

A man can feel the need to be in control without feeling any inclination for that control to be oppressive or in any way unpleasant for the woman he loves.

Taking her

Missy is sexually available to Sam all the time, and he explains how that works so well for them.

Handle with care... and honor and fidelity

Sam has a message for men on the importance of fidelity, honour, and handling a woman with care.

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

What if your wife feels scared and vulnerable?

Advice for any man whose wife feels scared and vulnerable during the introduction of a Taken In Hand relationship.

How are things different from before Taken In Hand?

Louise says that it was when she discovered this site that she first considered the idea that it could be possible to respond pleasurably to authority rather than negatively.

My friend, my lover, my rock

This is how one reader describes her husband. How do you describe yours?

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

What are my rights as a Taken In Hand woman?

Don't mistake being in a Taken In Hand relationship for giving up your right not to be badly treated. As Dragon explains, when a man accepts the power to control you he also accepts the responsibility to protect and care for you.

Do you have the patience to make your marriage work?

Are you like a pair of wooden gears, meshing together better and better as the teeth age?

Saying things for effect

When a man says he doesn't care what the woman he loves wants, is he serious, or is he saying it for effect? This piece explains why you are less likely to hear so many statements said for effect in a Taken In Hand marriage than in some other kinds of relationships. (And no, this is not to say that Taken In Hand is better, merely to point out a difference!)

The power of a woman who submits to her man

Do not make the mistake of thinking that a woman in a Taken In Hand relationship is not powerful. She is very powerful, as Mike explains.

Who wants a slave?

Why are so many Taken In Hand readers uncomfortable with the idea of Taken In Hand wife as ‘slave’?

A Taken In Hand relationship reaches beyond the couple

Blush on the relationship between Gary's kindness and magnanimity to her and her kindness and magnanimity to others.

An overview of Taken In Hand

In a nutshell...

We should consider ourselves so lucky

This beautiful piece by Lucy describes her quintessentially Taken In Hand relationship and the wonderful man who loves her. Essential reading!

Our journey through BDSM to Taken in Hand

One woman's journey from what she describes as “kinky sex” to Taken In Hand.

Shades of grey

Paul cautions against black-and-white thinking in Taken In Hand relationships.

Dominant men: D/s vs. Taken In Hand

Kiva likes the fact that Taken In Hand relationships are enjoyable for both persons.

Listening isn't weak

Men sometimes (understandably!) fear looking weak or being manipulated so much that they are intransigent and don't listen when it would really be better if they did. What is a man to do?

On being the servant-leader in my relationship

Stephen keeps in mind the “servant” bit of “servant-leader”. No wonder his wife spoils him!

Do with me what you will

Jeff describes so well that state in which a Taken In Hand woman feels safe, loved, protected, cared for, completely peaceful and driven to please him, her eyes saying “do with me what you will“, her heart open, her mind and body, his.

Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?

Women sometimes say they want a Taken In Hand relationship but then when they actually start a relationship, seem afraid to give up control. If you are a man who is frustrated that your woman is not acting the way you think she should be acting, or if you are a woman who is being accused of not being submissive enough, not being feminine, or controlling with complaints, hit the read article link now!

A good leader accepts that he is only human

In a position of power, a man must be mindful of his fallibility.

Barbie is the doll, Ken is just an accessory.

A timely warning that not everyone is ready for a Taken In Hand relationship, and especially not one involving corporal punishment.

First there were the boys... then there was Bobby

Most men were intimidated by Bella. But not Bobby.

Natural flow

On natural flow as opposed to unnaturally dominant or submissive behaviour, with advice to men to put the woman before their own whims, and not to expect to be in charge of everything all the time.