Learning from your mistakes

Is the idea of fairness causing trouble in your relationship?

You won't want to miss this very important article by Ted.

Why we rejected rules and punishment in our Taken In Hand relationship

Some couples' marriages are most definitely Taken In Hand but involve nothing even remotely resembline rules and punishment.

The man who doesn't give a stuff about labels

Marie thought she wanted an alpha male, until she met a man confident enough to be gentle and protective.

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

Give me intensity or give me death!

Or rather, give me celibacy until death.

Women who take responsibility for their own actions

Women who take responsibility for their risk and who expect mistakes to happen are a better bet than those who don't. Yes, I know: it sounds obvious, doesn't it? But it appears not to be obvious to all men.

Do you have unrealistic expectations?

Are you a person who lives and breathes the idea that human beings are fallible and does not expect the impossible, or are you a person who hasn't really grasped that everyone makes mistakes? If you tend to feel very upset or angry about faults in others, or if you tend to focus on the negative instead of on the positive, it might be that you have unrealistic expectations and infallibilist tendencies. This is likely to be making your life much less happy and good than it could be.

The subjection of women

To all the men who understand: thank you. To all who don't: I hope that this will help.

Listening isn't weak

Men sometimes (understandably!) fear looking weak or being manipulated so much that they are intransigent and don't listen when it would really be better if they did. What is a man to do?

My experience of taking my wife in hand

Forty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this!

Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?

Women sometimes say they want a Taken In Hand relationship but then when they actually start a relationship, seem afraid to give up control. If you are a man who is frustrated that your woman is not acting the way you think she should be acting, or if you are a woman who is being accused of not being submissive enough, not being feminine, or controlling with complaints, hit the read article link now!

Closing the gap

This warm and insightful piece illustrates the fact that even those in the closest relationship can sometimes inadvertently misinterpret the other's signals and think that the other is being a bit distant. It also shows how being able to have fun and laugh together can break any tension and put things back on track.

Can you be in charge without turning into her mother?

Mistakes are common when couples change the basis of their relationship, so it is wise to take it slowly and be alert for signs that there is a problem. Assume that you will have to make changes as you go along. Those who are flexible and open to making changes are likely to do better.

Being Taken In Hand doesn't mean being silent

A man in control would be wise to ensure that his woman feels ‘heard’ – accepting a man's authority should not mean ceasing to have a voice in the relationship. If only one mind were doing the necessary thinking and problem-solving, the other would be superfluous.

Greater humility, less defensiveness

Annie D. has been amazed to discover that Taken In Hand has made it easier for her to admit when she has been mistaken.

A sword-wielding female warrior taken in hand!

It is often the strongest, most fiesty women who want to be taken in hand.

Too much of a good thing?

Amelia has realised that when it comes to control, you can have too much of a good thing. But what is she to do now? Has she created a monster?

Could this kind of relationship be for you?

What exactly is a Taken In Hand relationship?

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

Offering an olive branch

No one is perfect, so what do you do when you have behaved badly? Following my article, Reaching out by offering yourself, Issie told this story of an offering of her own.

How I turned the fantasy into reality

After the demise of Stephen's marriage, he was determined that his next relationship would be different. He knew that he needed to be the head of the household. Having found a woman who wanted that, he then set about turning the fantasy into reality. His major concern at first was how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman you love. But his new wife wanted him to be firm, and not just as a game.

Is Taken In Hand about discipline?

Is Taken In Hand about discipline?