Exploring your deepest desires

"No" means "take me"

The aim of "No means no!" is to give men a simple way to avoid actually raping a woman. The problem is that no does not always mean no, and the denial of that reality makes it more likely that men will make mistakes than if that reality were acknowledged.

Why is commitment important?

Stephen explains what men are missing sexually when they fail to take into account the importance of commitment.

I don't want to be submissive!

Like many women on this site who want to be actively controlled by their man, Sully finds the idea of ‘just submitting’ (to what, exactly, if the man is not exerting control?!) decidedly unappealing.

Are your labels preventing you from seeing what you have?

Don't waste your life looking for something you already have, if only you could see it.

A dominant man brainwashed into submission

Just as some women grow up with the idea that the desire to live under the control of a man is unacceptable and needs to be overcome, some men also grow up with the idea that the desire to be in control in a relationship is unacceptable and needs to be overcome. This website aims to promote real choice, by letting it be known that there are thousands and thousands and thousands of happy, stable, well-adjusted Taken In Hand couples out there.

A marriage of understanding, passion and pregnancy

One of the wonderful things about a Taken In Hand marriage is that the control dynamics make it possible – in some cases at least – for man and wife to be more excited by one another during pregnancy instead of less.

Is Taken In Hand control real?

It is sometimes suggested that the control in Taken In Hand relationships is not real, but it certainly feels real to those involved.

Is it real?

Louise wonders if it is real. Real what? That is the question.

Being with a stronger man allows a strong woman to relax

Not to live with the fear that one might inadvertently overpower the man one loves is deeply relaxing, as Milly says.

This man

This piece expresses the excitement many women feel when they are in a relationship with a man who wears the trousers.

Enjoying consensual sexual aggression

On the joy of consensual ravishment in a Taken In Hand relationship.

Effect positive change by acting as if...

Instead of behaving badly to provoke your husband into taking you in hand, take this much more constructive course of action.

An overview of Taken In Hand

In a nutshell...

Our journey through BDSM to Taken in Hand

One woman's journey from what she describes as “kinky sex” to Taken In Hand.

Give me intensity or give me death!

Or rather, give me celibacy until death.

Impregnation

Why many Taken In Hand couples find the idea of impregnation erotic, and how viewing impregnation, pregnancy and breastfeeding from a Taken In Hand perspective can make what could otherwise be difficult or off-putting, intensely exciting.

Sublimated desires

Many modern women have suppressed their deep desire for a male-led relationship because of societal pressure to prefer an ‘equal’ relationship. This may explain the massive growth in BDSM erotica aimed at submissive women. That it is not safe to admit to wanting or being in a Taken In Hand relationship may also explain why so many women have turned to BDSM, which bends over backwards to be non-sexist and pansexual.

A lifetime of denial ends

BlueRose calls it a lifetime of denial, but in some cases it is just an inability to pinpoint what we want. (I'm still working on it, myself!) In other cases, the denial is functional and important because the psychological autonomy of the person is too fragile at that time to handle a power exchange relationship.

Alternative therapy

Warning: you may want to skip this provocative and daring article by LifeOfCuriosity if you have a weak heart or if you are not in a private location. However, lest that mislead you, rest assured that this article is nothing to do with casual encounters, and everything to do with the close and safe bonding of a loving relationship.

The subjection of women

To all the men who understand: thank you. To all who don't: I hope that this will help.

My experience of taking my wife in hand

Forty-Something Husband shares his own story of what Taken In Hand has meant to him. If you are a man new to Taken In Hand, or if you know such a man, you won't want to miss this!

Power connectivity

When Sam talked to Missy and connected up the Taken In Hand power cord in their relationship, the energy generated was thrilling!

Could you be a slave, owned, property?

Does property always do what it's told? Does being a slave mean abdicating moral responsibility in the name of obedience? Why might a woman consider herself a slave, and why do Taken In Hand generally prefer not to a slave?

Find your voice and speak

Ameribritwife says that reading this site reinforces her self acceptance and gives her new ways to see herself, her husband and their marriage.

Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

What is the difference between being submissive (if you're a woman) on the one hand, and being Taken In Hand on the other? Or is there any difference? It depends whom you ask!

Could this kind of relationship be for you?

What exactly is a Taken In Hand relationship?

Is this really consensual?

I hope that this will extinguish any doubts anyone might have that Taken In Hand is about consensual relationships only.

Enjoying our relationship

Babydoll is so happy that her husband loves their Taken In Hand relationship and glad that he felt able to show her his dominant side even after an unfortunately bad past relationship.

How badly I want this; how difficult it is to ask for it

Many women badly want to be taken in hand but are too embarrassed to mention this desire to a man. I hope that the existence of this website might help.

Why is BDSM so popular?

Why is BDSM so much more popular than Taken In Hand, and why is it that some BDSM folk are so disapproving of Taken In Hand?

A reality check for critics

Is it true that a good man would not get rough with a woman who likes that? Or that women who want to be dominated are misguided and naïve and will end up getting abused? Or that they should settle for a bit of spanking, DD, or BDSM instead?

Love and fear

In this fabulous article, DeeMarie argues that while love and fear might be incompatible emotions for some people, for others those two things are perfectly compatible.

The erotic power of the unshackled man

Separating sex and dominance from the rest of life seems to me a decidedly bad idea. Because male authority and control is real for Taken In Hand couples, not a game, it has the power to infuse the whole of life with an erotic charge, making life altogether more exciting and joyful. Is it any wonder Taken In Hand couples are so happy together?!

Happy living in fear of a man?!

If you think that women who want to be a little afraid of their men must be in need of psychotherapy or chemical help, this article probably won't dispel your illusions. But if you are curious, hit the read article link now!

What Taken In Hand is, and what it is not

Taken In Hand has received a lot of flak in its time – from the accusation that we're a bunch of sick perverts, to the accusation that – well, I am not even going to repeat it, it is so vicious. Let's set the record straight here and now! Don't miss this post!

Don't forget your whip

This powerful article will thrill women who crave a man's control. Such women know that it is, as the writer says, sometimes necessary to “get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.”

Who says you have to be submissive?

Women who are high dominance tend to attract lots of submissive men. What is a woman to do if she is strong and possibly even dominant in some sense, but she is drawn to men who are even more dominant than she is, and not to submissive men? Try to suppress her strength? Try to become more submissive? Try to act submissive even when she doesn't feel it? What do you think?

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

When rape is a gift

It is just about acceptable to speak of ravishing a woman, but the idea of taking a woman, or ‘raping’ her, is taboo and emotive. How could it possibly feel to a woman like a gift? And yet, many woman want this. You do not have to hit the read article link. Please don't do so if you might be upset. Only read this piece if this is not a difficult issue for you.

My deep dark secret

Like many Taken In Hand readers, Tasha has always felt different, and she had always feared that someone would discover her secret and react badly. Hit the read article link to find out what happened when she revealed her deep dark secret to her husband.