Questioning assumptions

He's in charge. . . but I do it my way

Is there one undisputed leader in your relationship? If so, what does that mean in practice?

Is it true that a man shouldn't need to get physical?

It is often said that a man should not need to get physical to remain in charge of his woman. Tevemer points out the flaws in this idea.

Acts of love

What kind of service does every able-bodied person whose relationships are good give loved ones? Love-based service.

Being Taken In Hand doesn't mean being silent

A man in control would be wise to ensure that his woman feels ‘heard’ – accepting a man's authority should not mean ceasing to have a voice in the relationship. If only one mind were doing the necessary thinking and problem-solving, the other would be superfluous.

Violence in the garden

This piece is for all those whose desires and chosen paths in life attract disapproval from others.

Could this kind of relationship be for you?

What exactly is a Taken In Hand relationship?

The dance of consent

Most consent-giving is done tacitly, through tiny non-verbal and indirect verbal signals, not directly. Sometimes a direct, clear yes or no is necessary, but especially in a long-term Taken In Hand relationship, it often isn't necessary. That does not mean there is not consent, as ConfusedofHomeCounties explains.

Why is BDSM so popular?

Why is BDSM so much more popular than Taken In Hand, and why is it that some BDSM folk are so disapproving of Taken In Hand?

A reality check for critics

Is it true that a good man would not get rough with a woman who likes that? Or that women who want to be dominated are misguided and naïve and will end up getting abused? Or that they should settle for a bit of spanking, DD, or BDSM instead?

Love and fear

In this fabulous article, DeeMarie argues that while love and fear might be incompatible emotions for some people, for others those two things are perfectly compatible.

Ownership as bonding

In this beautiful piece, Noone explains why it is not unreasonable to think of the intense bonding of a monogamous relationship as being in some sense ownership.

The erotic power of the unshackled man

Separating sex and dominance from the rest of life seems to me a decidedly bad idea. Because male authority and control is real for Taken In Hand couples, not a game, it has the power to infuse the whole of life with an erotic charge, making life altogether more exciting and joyful. Is it any wonder Taken In Hand couples are so happy together?!

Happy living in fear of a man?!

If you think that women who want to be a little afraid of their men must be in need of psychotherapy or chemical help, this article probably won't dispel your illusions. But if you are curious, hit the read article link now!

Dominance, integrity and needing to feel superior

More thoughts about dominant men and the mistake some insecure men make in thinking that being dominant means being right, superior, better than women.

Alpha male dominance

In a Taken In Hand relationship, the purpose of any physical force there may be is not correction but connection through dominant control. DeeMarie argues that if a man wants to be spanked, he has submissive tendencies that will be repulsive to some women reading Taken In Hand.

The resistant woman

Eric says he wants neither a dominant nor a submissive woman. What he wants is what he describes as a “resistant” woman. To find out what he means by that, hit the read article link now!

Don't forget your whip

This powerful article will thrill women who crave a man's control. Such women know that it is, as the writer says, sometimes necessary to “get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.”

Who says you have to be submissive?

Women who are high dominance tend to attract lots of submissive men. What is a woman to do if she is strong and possibly even dominant in some sense, but she is drawn to men who are even more dominant than she is, and not to submissive men? Try to suppress her strength? Try to become more submissive? Try to act submissive even when she doesn't feel it? What do you think?

The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance

When people ask whether you want to be “dominated” what is your answer? I never quite know whether the answer is yes or no. It depends! What does the questioner have in mind? People often think that because sexual dominance and service-orientated submission leave them cold, there is nothing sexual about their desire for their man to take charge. This piece explains what is really going on in such cases.

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be

A reader has written to ask what we have to say on the issue of so-called ‘equality’ and the criticism that Taken In Hand relationships can't possibly be healthy because they are not equal. Hit the read article link for an answer.

When rape is a gift

It is just about acceptable to speak of ravishing a woman, but the idea of taking a woman, or ‘raping’ her, is taboo and emotive. How could it possibly feel to a woman like a gift? And yet, many woman want this. You do not have to hit the read article link. Please don't do so if you might be upset. Only read this piece if this is not a difficult issue for you.

Do you think he doesn't have it in him?

When Melanie decided to take the plunge and surrender control to her husband, she was surprised by his reaction.

What kind of site is this? D/s? TPE? CP? DD? ABCD?

I avoid labels, but for those who might be interested, here is my current thinking about the labels sometimes attached to this site.

She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!

The casual observer might think that Taken In Hand readers are saying that they want to be taken or taken in hand against their will, but what is really going on here? An investigation of the psychology of consensual non-consent.

The dual failures of men

Although rarely explicit, a woman will frequently give implicit permission to a man to do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship together. She then expects him to act on her permission... If the man fails to act in a timely fashion, whatever love the woman has for him will, in time, crumble into a loathing for which there is no human cure.

What you need to know about Taken In Hand

What is Taken In Hand about? A return to times past in which many women had no choice? Or stepping into a future free from prescriptions and proscriptions about the sort of relationships deemed acceptable? If you are in any doubt, hit the read article link now!

Is Taken In Hand about discipline?

Is Taken In Hand about discipline?