Questioning assumptions

Are you getting through to her?

A husband in a Taken In Hand relationship needs to get through to his wife. If he is not getting through to her, his wife needs to find a way to let him know.

DD relationships - the view of a mental health professional

Although we seem to have been attracting the attention of a number of individuals incensed by the fact that there are several doctors, psychologists, social workers and other mental health clinicians writing for this site, here is yet another person in the field who has something sensible to say about the kinds of relationships discussed here.

A mysterious compulsion to obey

Loise on the mysterious effect of a certain tone of voice.

Having consent to take her whenever you want assumes that you will act wisely

M.D. on when not to forcibly take your wife, even if you have her consent to take her whenever you want.

Correcting possible misconceptions about Taken In Hand

This piece by Sully is essential reading for anyone who is shocked by the idea of a Taken In Hand relationship.

As the head of our household I put my wife first

Gary points out that a good leader serves.

Saying "no" as code for "I care"

In many relationships, this would be experienced negatively, but Dandelion is in a Taken In Hand relationship, and it made her positively swoon!

"No" means "take me"

The aim of "No means no!" is to give men a simple way to avoid actually raping a woman. The problem is that no does not always mean no, and the denial of that reality makes it more likely that men will make mistakes than if that reality were acknowledged.

A childhood memory

Don't miss Princess4rev's charming account of a childhood memory jogged by reading this site.

Why is commitment important?

Stephen explains what men are missing sexually when they fail to take into account the importance of commitment.

Why the "Wow!"?

When couples discover Taken In Hand and their relationship starts to evolve in this direction, they typically describe it as mind-blowingly thrilling. They tend to be astonished by how right it feels, even in their first faltering experimental steps. Why do so many couples experience this “Wow!”? Here is one person's answer. What is your answer?

Saying "no", leadership and chocolate

Don't miss this brilliant piece by CarlF.

A high-dominance woman taken in hand

Techiechic used to disdain women who prefer to liver under the control of a man – and then she realised that she herself is such a woman.

Exercise authority

Sometimes the relationship needs a spanking, in which case it might be a mistake to wait for a ‘good reason’, as CarlF so rightly says.

Taken out of my anguish

Many readers will identify with Dynomite's charming article.

Forget femininity!

Louise doesn't think much of people acting like idiots.

I don't want to be submissive!

Like many women on this site who want to be actively controlled by their man, Sully finds the idea of ‘just submitting’ (to what, exactly, if the man is not exerting control?!) decidedly unappealing.

Responding to his loving control

A year ago Pondering would have scoffed had anyone told her she’d be feeling as she does now.

Setting the record straight about punishment spanking

Louise concisely articulates how punishment spanking works for her and her husband and other Taken In Hand couples whose relationships have this feature.

Are your labels preventing you from seeing what you have?

Don't waste your life looking for something you already have, if only you could see it.

Agreements are a two-way street

The Taken In Hand relationship is an agreement between the two spouses, and to have a good relationship, it is important to uphold agreements.

Is the idea of fairness causing trouble in your relationship?

You won't want to miss this very important article by Ted.

She may not know it yet, but I'm taking her in hand

It sounds as though GreySeal's wife is very happy that he has started taking her in hand – even if she has never heard of Taken In Hand.

Why we rejected rules and punishment in our Taken In Hand relationship

Some couples' marriages are most definitely Taken In Hand but involve nothing even remotely resembline rules and punishment.

An expression of his authority

Cori appreciates her man firmly exerting his authority over her.

How Taken In Hand makes the mundane erotic

Taken In Hand dynamics are very powerful, as this writer indicates.

Living the fantasy 24/7

Taking your wife in hand does not mean what some husbands fear it might mean, as Louise explains.

It's not because he's infallible

In Taken In Hand relationships in which there is corporal punishment, it is all one way: husband spanking wife. People often ask if this means we think the man is infallible or the woman inferior. In her inimitable way, Louise sets the record straight.

How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

This is an FAQ question: How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

How my husband set me free

Don't miss this beautiful piece by Peach.

The man who doesn't give a stuff about labels

Marie thought she wanted an alpha male, until she met a man confident enough to be gentle and protective.

Is Taken In Hand bad for women who were abused in childhood?

No. An established Taken In Hand relationship may even be healing for some women with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Such women do need to take exceptional care, when trying to find someone with whom to have a Taken In Hand relationship, to avoid ending up with an antisocial, narcissistic, abusive man, as such men are likely to prey on vulnerable women who want to be controlled by a man.

Taken In Hand - the view of a psychiatrist

Is this philosophy of intimate relationships really as bad as some self-proclaimed ‘experts’ would have us believe?

A marriage of understanding, passion and pregnancy

One of the wonderful things about a Taken In Hand marriage is that the control dynamics make it possible – in some cases at least – for man and wife to be more excited by one another during pregnancy instead of less.

Pleasing your man makes you feel more lovey and lusty

It may be out of fashion but many women positively enjoy making their husband's life more pleasant.

We were virgins when we married

It can be fun to learn together.

Erotic pregnancy and afterwards...

Eroticising pregnancy brings husband and wife together and makes the whole experience very special.

Is Taken In Hand control real?

It is sometimes suggested that the control in Taken In Hand relationships is not real, but it certainly feels real to those involved.

How to read this site

Worried by something you have read on this site? Here is how to interpret what you read here.

Spanking in anger

Not every man loses control when angry, and not every woman is terrified by being spanked in anger. For some couples in some situations, it is a good idea, as Louise explains.