Naturally dominant men

Saying "no" as code for "I care"

In many relationships, this would be experienced negatively, but Dandelion is in a Taken In Hand relationship, and it made her positively swoon!

"No" means "take me"

The aim of "No means no!" is to give men a simple way to avoid actually raping a woman. The problem is that no does not always mean no, and the denial of that reality makes it more likely that men will make mistakes than if that reality were acknowledged.

A dominant man brainwashed into submission

Just as some women grow up with the idea that the desire to live under the control of a man is unacceptable and needs to be overcome, some men also grow up with the idea that the desire to be in control in a relationship is unacceptable and needs to be overcome. This website aims to promote real choice, by letting it be known that there are thousands and thousands and thousands of happy, stable, well-adjusted Taken In Hand couples out there.

She may not know it yet, but I'm taking her in hand

It sounds as though GreySeal's wife is very happy that he has started taking her in hand – even if she has never heard of Taken In Hand.

Taken In Hand - the view of a psychiatrist

Is this philosophy of intimate relationships really as bad as some self-proclaimed ‘experts’ would have us believe?

Is Taken In Hand control real?

It is sometimes suggested that the control in Taken In Hand relationships is not real, but it certainly feels real to those involved.

This man

This piece expresses the excitement many women feel when they are in a relationship with a man who wears the trousers.

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

A man leads with love and kindness

Ed has some good advice for both men and women in Taken In Hand relationships.

The making of a dominant man

In this charming piece, Carl points out that alpha males may be born, but they can also make themselves.

My full and complete surrender

When a man is firm with her, Laura melts like butter.

Si vis pacem, para bellum

If you as a man want deep peace (and a lot of fun!) in your Taken In Hand relationship, be prepared to enforce compliance.

Do you have the patience to make your marriage work?

Are you like a pair of wooden gears, meshing together better and better as the teeth age?

Who wants a slave?

Why are so many Taken In Hand readers uncomfortable with the idea of Taken In Hand wife as ‘slave’?

We should consider ourselves so lucky

This beautiful piece by Lucy describes her quintessentially Taken In Hand relationship and the wonderful man who loves her. Essential reading!

Holding coats and opening doors

A fun anecdote by Aurora.

Dominant men: D/s vs. Taken In Hand

Kiva likes the fact that Taken In Hand relationships are enjoyable for both persons.

The missionary position

Why do some Taken In Hand folk love the much-maligned missionary position?

Alternative therapy

Warning: you may want to skip this provocative and daring article by LifeOfCuriosity if you have a weak heart or if you are not in a private location. However, lest that mislead you, rest assured that this article is nothing to do with casual encounters, and everything to do with the close and safe bonding of a loving relationship.

The subjection of women

To all the men who understand: thank you. To all who don't: I hope that this will help.

On being the servant-leader in my relationship

Stephen keeps in mind the “servant” bit of “servant-leader”. No wonder his wife spoils him!

Alpha males and the women who love them

Laura on what she loves about real alpha males.

Do with me what you will

Jeff describes so well that state in which a Taken In Hand woman feels safe, loved, protected, cared for, completely peaceful and driven to please him, her eyes saying “do with me what you will“, her heart open, her mind and body, his.

A good leader accepts that he is only human

In a position of power, a man must be mindful of his fallibility.

Power connectivity

When Sam talked to Missy and connected up the Taken In Hand power cord in their relationship, the energy generated was thrilling!

First there were the boys... then there was Bobby

Most men were intimidated by Bella. But not Bobby.

Natural flow

On natural flow as opposed to unnaturally dominant or submissive behaviour, with advice to men to put the woman before their own whims, and not to expect to be in charge of everything all the time.

Are you the Conan the Barbarian type?

If you're looking for a Conan the Barbarian type, the requirement that consent be explicit is a real drag. DeeMarie has some advice for any Conans out there.

Respect and responsibility

If you are a woman, have you ever felt uncomfortable dating a man who expects you to serve him? Have you sometimes been a bit too giving? What do you think about this quote from Pat Allen's book Getting to “I Do”?: “A masculine-energy man does not marry a woman who gives to him, unless he is a “little boy” who wants to be mothered. A masculine man marries a feminine woman who is available to receive from him, who respects him for giving, and who knows how to give back to reward him but always a little less than she gets. [...] Masculine men like problems and challenges. They like the chase. “Little boys” like Mama to do it for them; they don't want you to ask them for anything at all.” (p. 59-60, Chapter 4, Is giving masculine or feminine?)

Is the discipline focus limiting your relationship?

Taken In Hand is not about disciplining a naughty wife, and if you view it that way, you will probably eventually find it unsatisfactory. Stephen explains why.

A gentle giant who loves and serves the woman he leads

To read Kat's touching tribute to her husband, hit the read article link now.

A woman must know that her man cares

Being a husband is not about being a warden, it is about caring.

On being a man

A man must have the capacity to look beyond himself.

An alpha female bares her throat only to her mate

A strong woman might want might well want to be cherished by a stronger man, and she might well not be generally submissive or want to be treated like a servant.

My husband and I face the world as a team

Bramble's beautiful relationship sounds like my grandparents' relationship. I love the mutual respect and kindness here. An inspitation!

Consent, control, connection

Without control and consent to that control, for many Taken In Hand people there is no erotic connection and nothing to feed the relationship.

We're not all submissive!

Sometimes, being stuck with someone else's ill-fitting label can be a real drag. If you don't like to be labelled “submissive”, others should respect that.

A strong willed woman wanting a man to lose against

For some men, the ideal relationship would be with a strong, independent, fiesty woman... who wants an even stronger man.

Have you found a proper balance?

Noone argues that to find a good balance a man has to be a tough softy.

Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

What is the difference between being submissive (if you're a woman) on the one hand, and being Taken In Hand on the other? Or is there any difference? It depends whom you ask!