Treating each other with respect

Having consent to take her whenever you want assumes that you will act wisely

M.D. on when not to forcibly take your wife, even if you have her consent to take her whenever you want.

Correcting possible misconceptions about Taken In Hand

This piece by Sully is essential reading for anyone who is shocked by the idea of a Taken In Hand relationship.

Responding to his loving control

A year ago Pondering would have scoffed had anyone told her she’d be feeling as she does now.

Agreements are a two-way street

The Taken In Hand relationship is an agreement between the two spouses, and to have a good relationship, it is important to uphold agreements.

Why we rejected rules and punishment in our Taken In Hand relationship

Some couples' marriages are most definitely Taken In Hand but involve nothing even remotely resembline rules and punishment.

How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

This is an FAQ question: How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?

The man who doesn't give a stuff about labels

Marie thought she wanted an alpha male, until she met a man confident enough to be gentle and protective.

Handle with care... and honor and fidelity

Sam has a message for men on the importance of fidelity, honour, and handling a woman with care.

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

Effect positive change by acting as if...

Instead of behaving badly to provoke your husband into taking you in hand, take this much more constructive course of action.

He isn't interested in or capable of taking you in hand?

That's what you think. But it might be that you are inadvertently undermining him because you cannot see the man he is. You may think this is definitely not the case, but it is worth taking steps to make sure that it is not you who are the barrier to change.

Saying things for effect

When a man says he doesn't care what the woman he loves wants, is he serious, or is he saying it for effect? This piece explains why you are less likely to hear so many statements said for effect in a Taken In Hand marriage than in some other kinds of relationships. (And no, this is not to say that Taken In Hand is better, merely to point out a difference!)

How do you maintain control in little ways?

Control need not necessarily involve violence or anything very dramatic.

The power of a woman who submits to her man

Do not make the mistake of thinking that a woman in a Taken In Hand relationship is not powerful. She is very powerful, as Mike explains.

Who wants a slave?

Why are so many Taken In Hand readers uncomfortable with the idea of Taken In Hand wife as ‘slave’?

An overview of Taken In Hand

In a nutshell...

The man ordering for the woman in restaurants

Lisa explains how delighted she feels by the little acts of chivalry Rich does for her, including ordering for her in restuarants.

Our journey through BDSM to Taken in Hand

One woman's journey from what she describes as “kinky sex” to Taken In Hand.

Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!

These anecdotes from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's wonderful book, Kosher Sex, might help.

Is he driving you mad?

Does your husband's driving style drive you mad? If so, hit the read article now.

Shades of grey

Paul cautions against black-and-white thinking in Taken In Hand relationships.

Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?

A glimpse at an article that has stayed with me for three years.

The carrot or the stick?

Don't be misled: the form often belies the substance.

Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?

Women sometimes say they want a Taken In Hand relationship but then when they actually start a relationship, seem afraid to give up control. If you are a man who is frustrated that your woman is not acting the way you think she should be acting, or if you are a woman who is being accused of not being submissive enough, not being feminine, or controlling with complaints, hit the read article link now!

A good leader accepts that he is only human

In a position of power, a man must be mindful of his fallibility.

Taken in hand by tenderness

Ameribritwife asked her husband to help her wake up earlier. Hit the read article link to find out what happened.

How do you relate to one another publicly?

Do you prefer to keep your power exchange private, and why?

Familiarity breeds contempt

An argument against “excessive familiarity” in close relationships.

He's in charge. . . but I do it my way

Is there one undisputed leader in your relationship? If so, what does that mean in practice?

Real life leadership or rules and rigidity?

Tevemer and her husband dropped the rules-based approach they adopted in the beginning – in favour of a more naturally-evolving real-life style of leadership.

How we stopped fighting and became happier together

A week after discovering the Taken In Hand site, Louise and her husband had a terrible row. To find out how they resolved the crisis and became happier together, hit the read article link now.

Are you paying attention? Are you really connecting?

A Taken In Hand relationship is about the two indiviuals engaging and connecting. To find out how Jett really pays attention and takes into account his mate's wishes, hit the read article link now!

Taken In Hand means different things to different people

There is a lot to consider if you want to be taken in hand. Here are just a few of the issues you might want to think about and discuss.

My husband and I face the world as a team

Bramble's beautiful relationship sounds like my grandparents' relationship. I love the mutual respect and kindness here. An inspitation!

Being Taken In Hand doesn't mean being silent

A man in control would be wise to ensure that his woman feels ‘heard’ – accepting a man's authority should not mean ceasing to have a voice in the relationship. If only one mind were doing the necessary thinking and problem-solving, the other would be superfluous.

Greater humility, less defensiveness

Annie D. has been amazed to discover that Taken In Hand has made it easier for her to admit when she has been mistaken.

In defence of books like Fascinating Womanhood

When reading books like Fascinating Womanhood and The Surrendered Wife, you have to apply some common sense and not lose your critical faculties. But they can still be worth reading, nevertheless.

We're not all submissive!

Sometimes, being stuck with someone else's ill-fitting label can be a real drag. If you don't like to be labelled “submissive”, others should respect that.

It is working as advertised!

For Louise and her husband, Taken In Hand has, as it were, worked as advertised.

Have you found a proper balance?

Noone argues that to find a good balance a man has to be a tough softy.