the boss

When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...

... the knowledge that happy marriage is possible never leaves you.

What if your wife feels scared and vulnerable?

Advice for any man whose wife feels scared and vulnerable during the introduction of a Taken In Hand relationship.

Warum du Spanking nicht verweigern solltest!

Waere es nicht wirksamer, ihr das Spanking zu verweigern? Neeeeeein! Klicken Sie auf den Link um herauszufinden, warum nicht!

Effect positive change by acting as if...

Instead of behaving badly to provoke your husband into taking you in hand, take this much more constructive course of action.

He isn't interested in or capable of taking you in hand?

That's what you think. But it might be that you are inadvertently undermining him because you cannot see the man he is. You may think this is definitely not the case, but it is worth taking steps to make sure that it is not you who are the barrier to change.

It's all my parents' fault!

Yes, this time it's not my grandparents, it's my parents!

Resistance is futile

Or is it?!

A beginners' guide to spanking

What beginners might want to know about taking a woman in hand by spanking her.

Si vis pacem, para bellum

If you as a man want deep peace (and a lot of fun!) in your Taken In Hand relationship, be prepared to enforce compliance.

Saying things for effect

When a man says he doesn't care what the woman he loves wants, is he serious, or is he saying it for effect? This piece explains why you are less likely to hear so many statements said for effect in a Taken In Hand marriage than in some other kinds of relationships. (And no, this is not to say that Taken In Hand is better, merely to point out a difference!)

How do you maintain control in little ways?

Control need not necessarily involve violence or anything very dramatic.

Do you 'meet as equals' or 'establish roles from the outset'?

How in the world can you create a male-controlled relationship if you meet and get to know each other as equals?

Zou dit type relatie wat voor u kunnen zijn?

Over wat voor soort relatie hebben we het?

Freedom or invested in a deep relationship?

Do you like to keep your options open or put all your eggs in one basket?

Arguments for marriage, cohabiting or living separately

On Taken In Hand, we tend to talk marriage, but why? What are the arguments for each option?

How can I be sure he's monogamous?

Or shouldn't that be: how can I be sure he's not promiscuous?

Is spanking always sexual?

In a Taken In Hand relationship, is spanking always sexual? Or is it sometimes definitely not sexual? Yes, it's more on this long-running debate. (Try not to groan!)

The Night Porter: movie review

Not a film for the faint-hearted, but if you have seen The Night Porter and would like to discuss any relevant issues raised by it, post in the comments here.

Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!

These anecdotes from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's wonderful book, Kosher Sex, might help.

Give me intensity or give me death!

Or rather, give me celibacy until death.

Women who take responsibility for their own actions

Women who take responsibility for their risk and who expect mistakes to happen are a better bet than those who don't. Yes, I know: it sounds obvious, doesn't it? But it appears not to be obvious to all men.

Impregnation

Why many Taken In Hand couples find the idea of impregnation erotic, and how viewing impregnation, pregnancy and breastfeeding from a Taken In Hand perspective can make what could otherwise be difficult or off-putting, intensely exciting.

Is he driving you mad?

Does your husband's driving style drive you mad? If so, hit the read article now.

Do you have unrealistic expectations?

Are you a person who lives and breathes the idea that human beings are fallible and does not expect the impossible, or are you a person who hasn't really grasped that everyone makes mistakes? If you tend to feel very upset or angry about faults in others, or if you tend to focus on the negative instead of on the positive, it might be that you have unrealistic expectations and infallibilist tendencies. This is likely to be making your life much less happy and good than it could be.

Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?

A glimpse at an article that has stayed with me for three years.

Foreplay

Lots of different opinions here!

The missionary position

Why do some Taken In Hand folk love the much-maligned missionary position?

The subjection of women

To all the men who understand: thank you. To all who don't: I hope that this will help.

The carrot or the stick?

Don't be misled: the form often belies the substance.

Too feminine?

On how I sometimes get an earful for being “too feminine”, and how I feel about that.

Stereotypes

Taken In Hand is not about enacting a stereotypical role in a stereotypical relationship, so if you have a few qualms about being defined in terms of stereotypes, that is not a bad thing. If being expected to act a stereotypical role feels like lying, don't do it. And certainly don't regard your desire to be honest and maintain integrity as a character flaw.

Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?

Women sometimes say they want a Taken In Hand relationship but then when they actually start a relationship, seem afraid to give up control. If you are a man who is frustrated that your woman is not acting the way you think she should be acting, or if you are a woman who is being accused of not being submissive enough, not being feminine, or controlling with complaints, hit the read article link now!

Could you be a slave, owned, property?

Does property always do what it's told? Does being a slave mean abdicating moral responsibility in the name of obedience? Why might a woman consider herself a slave, and why do Taken In Hand generally prefer not to a slave?

The Virgin and the Gipsy, by D. H. Lawrence

Read this review of D. H. Lawrence's short novel, The Virgin and the Gipsy or add your own review by clicking here and scrolling down to the ‘reply’ box.

Familiarity breeds contempt

An argument against “excessive familiarity” in close relationships.

Könnte diese Partnerschaft für dich sein?

Über was für eine Partnerschaft reden wir hier?

Acts of love

What kind of service does every able-bodied person whose relationships are good give loved ones? Love-based service.

Ce type de relations pourrait-il vous convenir ?

Qu'est-ce précisment qu'une une relation « Prise en main » ?

Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

What is the difference between being submissive (if you're a woman) on the one hand, and being Taken In Hand on the other? Or is there any difference? It depends whom you ask!

Could this kind of relationship be for you?

What exactly is a Taken In Hand relationship?