The exercise of authority in a consensual relationship

Real life leadership or rules and rigidity?

Tevemer and her husband dropped the rules-based approach they adopted in the beginning – in favour of a more naturally-evolving real-life style of leadership.

Is it true that a man shouldn't need to get physical?

It is often said that a man should not need to get physical to remain in charge of his woman. Tevemer points out the flaws in this idea.

On being a man

A man must have the capacity to look beyond himself.

Is the man's authority real if consent can be revoked?

In a Taken In Hand relationship, the woman wholeheartedly consents to being under the man's authority, but consent can be revoked. Does that make the authority any less real?

It is working as advertised!

For Louise and her husband, Taken In Hand has, as it were, worked as advertised.

Have you found a proper balance?

Noone argues that to find a good balance a man has to be a tough softy.

Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

What is the difference between being submissive (if you're a woman) on the one hand, and being Taken In Hand on the other? Or is there any difference? It depends whom you ask!

How my husband makes me melt

Louise on the power of her husband's newfound calm, to soothe her into submissiveness.

Could this kind of relationship be for you?

What exactly is a Taken In Hand relationship?

What is the secret recipe?

What is it about being thoroughly taken in hand and spanked that produces profound effects like these?

Is this really consensual?

I hope that this will extinguish any doubts anyone might have that Taken In Hand is about consensual relationships only.

Giving my best to my man who put his foot down

Strange though it may seem, some women passionately want a man who will put his foot down and wear the trousers in the relationship.

Practical hints for men - handling a strong woman

Carlf with some advice for men about taking a strong woman in hand.

Practical hints for men - times of stress

Carlf offers some advice to men about maintaining a Taken In Hand relationship through times of stress.

The dance of consent

Most consent-giving is done tacitly, through tiny non-verbal and indirect verbal signals, not directly. Sometimes a direct, clear yes or no is necessary, but especially in a long-term Taken In Hand relationship, it often isn't necessary. That does not mean there is not consent, as ConfusedofHomeCounties explains.

A reality check for critics

Is it true that a good man would not get rough with a woman who likes that? Or that women who want to be dominated are misguided and naïve and will end up getting abused? Or that they should settle for a bit of spanking, DD, or BDSM instead?

Ownership as bonding

In this beautiful piece, Noone explains why it is not unreasonable to think of the intense bonding of a monogamous relationship as being in some sense ownership.

Happy living in fear of a man?!

If you think that women who want to be a little afraid of their men must be in need of psychotherapy or chemical help, this article probably won't dispel your illusions. But if you are curious, hit the read article link now!

A relationship of equals

Adam's vision of a Taken In Hand relationship – a relationship of equals, with both modern and traditional elements.

Don't forget your whip

This powerful article will thrill women who crave a man's control. Such women know that it is, as the writer says, sometimes necessary to “get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.”

Decades of discipline, decades of happy marriage

Why, after many decades of marriage, would a man still find it necessary to discipline his wife? And why would she let him?

Authority in a Taken In Hand relationship

Authority is the right or power to enforce rules or give orders. Many Taken In Hand readers use consensual authority to enhance their relationship.

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar (husband of CondusedofHomeCounties) talks about how they moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how he discovered that taking his wife in hand helped stop rows getting out of hand, and may just have saved their marriage.

From vague awareness to a beautiful relationship

Don't miss this lovely account by Lady K of her development from vague stirrings when she read Heinlein's I Will Fear No Evil to the beautiful Taken In Hand relationship she and her husband have now.

Why is real punishment spanking erotic?

Many Taken In Hand folk do not use physical discipline or punishment in their relationship. But for those who do, this series of articles explains some otherwise puzzling facts and paradoxes.

How I turned the fantasy into reality

After the demise of Stephen's marriage, he was determined that his next relationship would be different. He knew that he needed to be the head of the household. Having found a woman who wanted that, he then set about turning the fantasy into reality. His major concern at first was how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman you love. But his new wife wanted him to be firm, and not just as a game.

Do you have a commanding presence?

Do you command respect and obedience without even trying? Do you have natural authority, or would you have trouble controlling even a worm? If you don't have a commanding presence but wish you did, hit the read article link.

Why does it work?

Why does this kind of relationship work? Tevemer says that the more her husband asserts himself, the more she respects and desires him. Why does it work for you?

Being taken in hand is hot!

If you feel no sexual arousal at all during serious disciplinary spankings, how can it possibly be erotic? And if it is, doesn't that mean that it is all just a kinky game, and not real? Hit the read article link for my answers to these thorny questions.

Hands-on approach

Howard Frank explains his gentle but firm hands-on approach with his wife, and talks about what he has discovered on this journey of increased connection and intimacy.

Surrendered in love

Ben and his wife have been married 33 years. About eighteen months ago, his wife announced that she wanted to be ‘surrendered’ (as in The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle). To enjoy Ben's delectable real life adult fairy tale, hit the read article link.

Obedience

Right from the beginning of their relationship, Stephen's wife wanted him to wear the trousers. She was not interested in a relationship based on so-called equality. She expects to be obedient. To her, obedience is not only a matter of respect for me and our relationship, it adds an erotic charge to daily life. Yes, obedience is sexy. It is romantic. It creates passion!

What you need to know about Taken In Hand

What is Taken In Hand about? A return to times past in which many women had no choice? Or stepping into a future free from prescriptions and proscriptions about the sort of relationships deemed acceptable? If you are in any doubt, hit the read article link now!

Is Taken In Hand about discipline?

Is Taken In Hand about discipline?